Thursday, September 30, 2004

Fishing For Jesus It's official.  My hometown of Eagle Pass, Texas has lost its mind.  Turns out that the Border Patrol recently found a fiberglass statue of Jesus Christ stuck in the mud of the Rio Grande.  It was handed over to the Eagle Pass Police Department, where they propped it up in the hallway outside the evidence room.  Since then, it has become a sort of Mecca for local Catholics. First off, I don't think the finding of a plastic Jesus statue in the muck of the Rio Grande is a sign that "he's alive and he is here with us," as one believer sees it.  I think its a sign that someone tossed a perfectly good plastic Jesus statue into the river, just like they throw beer cans, hamburger wrappers, condoms, diapers, sofas, and who knows what else in there.  It's not a miracle.  It's littering. Now I'll admit it is an odd thing to heave into the river.  I mean who would do something so careless and disrespectful?  Don't they know how much something like that would fetch on Ebay? Besides, if this had been the statue they drug out of the river, would they still think it was a miracle?  I mean, it is Jesus, too. Seriously, the statue was probably stolen from some church by people who got their jollies by tossing Jesus into the Rio Grande.  Or it got tossed in by someone just curious to see what would happen when it was found.  Heck, knowing this now, I am so tempted to find myself a huge Santa Claus statue, push it into the Rhine, and see what a ruckus it causes.  "It's a sign we've been naughty, not nice!  Oh, St. Nick, forgive us!" And even more seriously, if this were a true miracle, a true sign from above, don't you think the Lord could afford something a little more impressive than fiberglass?  How about gold, or platinum, or even cubic zirconia?  Fiberglass isn't exactly biblical.  If they check, I even bet there's "Made in Taiwan" stamped on his foot.  Again, not miraculous.  Not even close. So to recap:  Littering?  Yes. Odd thing to find in the river?  Absolutely. An According to Hoyle miracle?  Nope. Related links: Once was Lost:  MYSA article on all this Floating "Jesus" Causes Border Patrol Rescue Mission:  complete with a survey on whether you think this was a sign from God. Statue of Christ Found in Rio Grande:  WOAI article. 8:09:41 PM     |

© Copyright 2005 Alex L. Mauldin.