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Friday, September 12, 2003
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Food for thought If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep... you are richer that 75% of this world
if you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace... you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy
if you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation... you are ahead of 500 million people in the world
if you can attend a prayer meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death... you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.
if you can hold someone's hand, hug them, or even touch them on the shoulder... you are blessed because you can offer the healing touch
if you can read this message, you are more blessed than over 2 billion pepople in the world who cannot read at all
Found this on another blog, can't verify the statistical accuracy, but it seems reasonable.
9:21:32 PM
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Have you become so dull, so cold? Last night after Cru I had a long conversation with a graduated friend of mine who was back in town visiting. We were good friends in a strange sense, in that, although we knew each other for three years, we met and spoke less and less as each of us backed out of common social circles, (and, as I would find out, for similar reasons).
We talked about college, and the immutable passing of time, and regrets about letting it slip away. As she described it to me; "like an essay question that you can't think of an answer to, until finally the session is over and you're relieved, even though you know you'll get a poor grade, you're relieved." I sense that's the way I'll feel, when I finish, though I have just a little time left to save it.
I have to be wary of becoming too "spiritually sure" of myself; it's easy to think you can see how God is making positive changes in your life (though certainly many deficiencies remain) until someone you admire opens themselves up to you, and you realize how vulnerable you are to falling back into old habitual thoughts. When I spill it out; unwittingly, it's easy to see where I'm lacking.
I'm indifferent, I don't see any urgency in life, things happen to me and others that I wait just long enough for the sting to subside so I can go on being happy. But I'm cynical, I want to be pitied, want to think I got the short end of the stick. I haven't had it hard at all, can't relate to anyone who has, other than shrug my shoulders. I'm a long way from three years ago, sure, but I had a long way to go from where I started.
"It's easy to get caught in the evangelical trappings, the Christian culture, the science and philosophy of it," she said. "but those things are just a distraction from what's important."
I treat people poorly. I don't think well on my feet, and don't speak well as a result. I don't like silence, and there's not much glorious, or even useful about just being a listener. I don't even do that very well. I'm stubborn and lazy and one-sided. Other minds are a mystery. Joy is for gentlemen.
But it's ok. After last April, I thought I'd never talk to her again. I got that chance, and a trainwreck too.
Sometimes, people can surprise me.
12:27:00 PM
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Johnny Cash, 1932-2003 The Man in Black.
"There is that beast there in me. And I got to keep him caged or he'll eat me alive," he said in an interview with Neil Strauss in The New York Times in 1994. But as Mr. Strauss observed, the sinners that Johnny Cash sang about, unlike those in most gangsta rap songs, were usually plagued by guilt and in search of God's forgiveness. His tales may have been grim, but they weren't nihilistic.
9:08:21 AM
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© Copyright
2003
Ken Graber.
Last update:
10/1/03; 9:02:41 AM.
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United States, Indiana, Bloomington, English, Ken, Male, 21-25, Writing, swaying in the breeze.