Tonight was the evening of our Advent Garden celebration, something that several families have been doing on the first Sunday of Advent ever since all our kids were tiny. For the first time ever, I didn't go. Scott's death has sent me into a bit of a tailspin and I just didn't feel like being around a lot of people.
It's such a cliche to say that a death makes you think about what's really important, but truths lie in cliches. This truth (and the timing of it) couldn't have slammed me over the head any harder if it tried. I've been putting so much energy into my work lately that other things - important things - have been taking back seat. I've been snapping at Joe and the kids. I've been out of touch with good friends. I haven't said 'I love you' to those close to me for too long. I've been short with people I work with. I don't think I've been a very nice person to be around.
I was reading Sarah Ban Breathnach's book 'Simple Abundance' tonight and she talks about why she thinks we're on earth in the first place. "...to find that portion of the world's lost heart that only you can ransom with your love and authentic gifts and then return it, so that all of us can experience Wholeness."
I knew that. Maybe not in those words, but I understood the sentiment. I just forgot it somewhere along the way this last little while. But tomorrow is a new day....and a chance to try to make amends.
7:47:12 PM 
|
