Online poker is going to cause the collapse of our fair nation.
Or so sez this guy...
Norman Chad [I don't watch poker on tv (::gasp::) but HomePokerGames had this to say about him, for those like me who don't know who he is: Norman Chad
one of the broadcasters covering the World Series on ESPN. Most people
think he tries way too hard to be funny with his lame jokes. 1st page on google, I swear.]
here, "Oh what a tangled web online poker weaves."
First off, you know this is going to be disparaging. So sit back, pop
the corn and let start to acknowledge the allusion he leads us by the
nose to in the vacantly absent rest of the line... "when first we
practice to deceive." Yes, online poker is riggored. On a grander
scale, lets not bastardize Marmion for online poker bashing... Scott deserves some Iraqi war-Downing Street Memo references to effect the full force of his epic poetry, not some GCA-ite reference tarnishing it by association.
And of course, you know I'm lazy & love to cut and paste things out of context, so here you go...
Here is my fear about the poker nation we are creating, part one: One
day, while tens of millions of us are holed up in our bedrooms or dens
- shades lowered, computers whirring - playing four screens of Texas
hold 'em simultaneously, Soviet troops will roll into New York and
bring America to the brink of collapse.
So yeah, the nation will topple hell will freeze over when the nation turns into a mass of 2p2'ers. I can see it now, tv movie of the week.... bonuswhoring ate my baby!
In all seriousness, seriously? Online poker is the culprit of our nation not giving a damn any more?
Of COURSE it can't be disaffected, disenfranchised youth as a whole. Of
COURSE it has nothing to do with ideological and moral wars, of young
(and old) men and women dying and being made crippled for life half a
world
away. Of COURSE it can't be a lack of respect or reflection of true
ideals of the people of the nation by their leaders. Of COURSE it can't
be corporate and political corruption, lending us flesh and blooded
people to finally realize in the kernel of souls we carry that
corporations are not only people, but they are worth more than us ants
with 2 legs and one heart.
Of COURSE it can't
be outsourcing, of COURSE it can't be waning opportunities as
industries become streamlined and downsized, of COURSE it can't be the
ever aging ever drug and medical-care dependant populace and skyrocketing/out of reach healthcare for everyone, of COURSE it
can't be tv covered in Jerry Springer and "baby daddy" daytime tv
shows, of COURSE it can't be a weak dollar, of COURSE it can't be
because racial and socioeconomic barriers are not only prevalent but a
way of American life, of COURSE it can't be a lot more crap that I'm too
longwinded to give a proper attempt to...
No, the be-all end-all fall of Rome. Online Poker.
[It's rigged, you know.]
Postmodern archaelogists excavating the ruins of the internet will find
the answer here, the writing on the wall, the bloody goat... internet
poker.
::sigh::
*****
Because I'm a glutton for this kinda stuff...
Online poker has a pretty simple dynamic:
You withdraw into your home.
You play whenever you want.
You interact only with your mouse, your mouse pad and your keyboard.
You eventually emerge from your isolation - sometimes richer, sometimes poorer - with the interpersonal skills of a lampshade.
Wow, even I'm insulted, and I suck at online poker. :)
I'm insulted for the legions of people I've met, real people with flesh
and blood covering their bones and a song in their hearts, because I
now do what I do (aka: read voyeuristically watch
people who play online poker and talk about it online.) I have to think
of all of the blogs I read, does anyone there on my blogroll have the
interpersonal skill of a lampshade?
Well I blogrolled myself so maybe, but...
What about all of the people enthusiatically reading, learning, posting
about poker to one or more of the million billion uno dos tres cuatro
cinco seis siete ocho nueve diez poker forums out there? Lampshades,
all? (perhaps some, but that's humanity and reified variance for you.)
Listen. I know people play online, and how they do. I know what it
is to sit and stare at a computer screen for hours on end, having
thoughts manifest via fingerclicks and mouserolls instead of
enunciation and proclamation. (I'm an og internet junkie.) But holy
hell, I can get hooked into reading craiglist, memoryhole, fatwallet, whatever. I don't need online poker
to blame for that. I need to blame the changing cultural landscape, the
changes by which we communicate with one another, the technological
revolution that we take for granted but is moving is closer together as
we live further and further apart... not online poker.
*****
Anyway, I'm sure some of my longfellas will have something more to
pick out, but thanks for leaving the obvious bits to aK, she needs the bone once in
a while. (dirty minds, all of you!) ;)
Nite,
aK
GamesGrid Poker (and Backgammon!)
12:27:20 AM 
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Monday, July 11, 2005
