Sunday, 10 March 2002

Keating #5 - On the opposition Liberal party The Leader of the Opposition hurls all sorts of abuse at me, and all through question time those pansies over there want retractions of the things we've said about them. They are a bunch of nobodies going nowhere." "Mr Speaker can I have some protection from the clowns on the front bench ?" "...for the dullard on the front bench opposite" "Mr Deputy Speaker, am I to be continually abused by the Honorable Member for Mitchell and the drone beside him, the Honorable Member for Braddon ?" "Where you all come aguster is, over here we think we're born to rule you. And let me tell you this, it's been ingrained in me from childhood, I think my mission in life is to run you." "You were heard in silence, so some of you SCUMBAGS on the front bench should wait a minute until you hear the responses from me." "What really amuses me and almost makes me spew..." "They have no ideas, no integrity and no ability." "Damn them for being the cheats they are." "You are frauds." 4:15:36 PM    Comments ()

Keating #4 - On the Queen: "I like the Queen... and I think she liked me" 4:13:00 PM    Comments ()

Keating #3 - On Former Leader of the Opposition, John Hewson: (His performance) is like being flogged with a warm lettuce. He always turns around when I drop one on him. He can't psychologically handle it. I was implying that the Honorable Member for Wentworth was like a lizard on a rock - alive, but looking dead. Yesterday, on a personal matter against me, we had old dozy over there, the Honourable Member for Wentworth. I have a psychological hold over Hewson...He's like a stone statue in the cemetery. I'm not going to be fairy flossed away as my opposite number, John Hewson, is prepared to be fairy flossed away by some spaced out, vacous ad agency. I'd put him in the same class as the rest of them: mediocrity. This is the sort of little-boy, stamp your foot stuff which comes from a financial yuppie when you shoe him into parliament. Hewson's only made the grade on paid advertisements. He's put me under no pressure at all. The only one who's put us under pressure on any issue is Peacock. He's an old cynic and he goes for the issues. Hewson's on television a lot but he hasn't put me under any pressure. 4:11:36 PM    Comments ()

Keating #2 - On Wilson "Iron Bar" Tuckey (Liberal politician): "...You stupid foul-mouthed grub." "Shut up! Sit down and shut up, you pig!" "You boxhead you wouldn't know. You are flat out counting past ten." 4:10:43 PM    Comments ()

Keating #1 - In wistful memory of [former Australian Prime Minister] Paul Keating I offer these morsels for the next little while. All have been stolen from website around the place, especially this one. On former Liberal and Opposition Leader (now Prime Minister), John Howard (right): "What we have got is a dead carcass, swinging in the breeze, but nobody will cut it down to replace him." "He's wound up like a thousand day clock..." "...the brain-damaged Leader of the Opposition..." (Of his 1986 leadership) "From this day onwards, Howard will wear his leadership like a crown of thorns, and in the parliament I'll do everything to crucify him." "He is the greatest job and investment destroyer since the bubonic plague." "But I will never get to the stage of wanting to lead the nation standing in front of the mirror each morning clipping the eyebrows here and clipping the eyebrows there with Janette and the kids: It's like 'Spot the eyebrows'." "I am not like the Leader of the Opposition. I did not slither out of the Cabinet room like a mangy maggot..." "He has more hide than a team of elephants." "I do not want to hear any mealymouthed talk from the Member for Benelong." "The principle saboteur, the man with the cheap fistful of dollars." "Come in sucker." During Great Debate '96: "You're so rude!" 4:09:23 PM    Comments ()