Tuesday, 19 March 2002

3:59:37 PM    Comments ()

Need a bank loan - A frog walks/hops into a bank, and asks to see someone about applying for a loan. "Oh, Mr. Paddywack will be glad to help you," says the teller, looking down at the frog rather dubiously. "Just have a seat at that desk over there, and he'll be right with you." So the frog sits down, and presently, the loan officer comes over. "Good day, sir, how may I help you?" he says, raising an eyebrow. "I need a loan," says the frog, "I want to do some rennovations on my lillypond." "Well..." says the loan officer, "we are not in the practice of approving loans for amphibians..." he said condescendingly, looking over the rims of his hornrimmed glasses. "But why not?" exclaims the frog, "I've got an excellent credit record! I've never been late on my visa payment!" The loan officer sighs. "Sir, I'm afraid we would need some type of collateral, and I'm-" "But I've got it!" exclaims the frog. "I've got an extensive collection of hummels I can use as collateral-" "I'm sorry," cuts in the loan officer, "but I don't think we'll be able to help you," he begins, but just then his supervisor comes up behind the desk. "What seems to be the problem?" he says to the loan officer. "Uh, um, Sir, this fro- um, gentleman, wanted to obtain a loan," says the loan officer, "but I've been trying to tell him that we can't-" "I've got a hummel as collateral!" the frog breaks in. "What in the world is a hummel???" says the loan officer condescendingly. The supervisor looks exasperated. "It's a nick-nack, Paddywack! Give the frog a loan!" 11:23:01 AM    Comments ()

Engagement feathers - Seems I ruffeled a few feathers with Dori down at backupbrain.com. I wrote in the comments section of the related piece but thought my comments deserved a wider viewing here. Dori wrote this comment in response to my piece on her engagement ring: Just to set one thing straight--the ring is not mentioned anywhere on the book site. If you want to read about the ring, or check out the blog, your students had to follow links that said something like "learn more about us", which led to pages on other domains . Tsk, tsk... following links to other domains! Amazing what you can run across doing that. Y'all might even be surprised about how many positive comments we've received about the ring, entirely based on that page. and a similar entry in her blog. Jerry Kindall chimed in with this parry: What's so nauseating about three pictures of a ring? What's so pretentious and tacky about sentences like "Here's a picture of Dori's engagement ring"? I don't get it... To which I delightedly responded with Wonderful - thanks so much for biting - you've made my day. Really - you have! And Dori - I thought the ring was beautiful. Thanks for the book and the lecture at builder.com live. I just love it. Really I do. In fact I wish I'd thought of it first. 10:20:32 AM    Comments ()

Am I seeing things - Yes I am - Shelley writes of experiences she had with some math teachers - one who would let her ask questions, and another who lost patience if one didn't catch the concept first time round. Other students in that second teacher's class also had the same problem I did. However, many of the male students would pursue the question regardless of the teacher's frustration. They wouldn't stop hitting at him with questions until they got the answers they needed. As for me, I now know that everytime I hit the teacher's frustration, his disappointment that I didn't understand what he was saying, I backed off. I couldn't face his disappointment, even though it really wasn't personal. I couldn't face his frustration, even though it really didn't impact negatively on me. I understand this from both sides. Some folk think I am aggressive because I will often continue to question and re-question until I understand a point of view or a concept. It's a need to understand and know that drives the questions. On the other hand my darling wife will not re-question. If she doesn't get the explanation that is given she will automatically assume that the fault lies with her - not the provider of information. This is hard for me to understand! In my study of NLP I discovered a few things. One was the presuppositions [or convenient beliefs] that NLP works from. One of these is The meaning of communication is the response you get. This is a difficult saying. What it says is that communication is the communicator's responsibility - not the receiver's. It says that if you don't understand me - it is my fault. It makes no comment on you, the receiver. This flies in the face of traditional communications theory that suggests that communication is 50% giving and 50% receiving. It even surpasses more modern interpretations of comm theory which suggests that communication is 100% the responsibility of the communicator AND 100% responsibility of the receiver. No - it's all my responsibility [or yours if you are doing the talking!] Typically people who will not subscribe to this view are those who are misunderstood. Interesting isn't it. But there was another point to Shelley's piece. She went on to say Kath was right when she said in my comments, "Sexism is NOT 'percieved' if you are on the receiving end." She supports this statement by a posting that discusses this topic more detail. And her sentiment was echoed by Sharon in a comment when she says "What bothers me is when people say things like 'this *perceived* gender bias'....perceived?? Like we make this shit up??" Jeneane says in a posting at BlogSisters, "...I have noticed that the posts of women bloggers are often overlooked when it comes to linking and discussion in the greater world of blogging. And I think that's wrong. We do have something to say." These are topics worth pursuing. This is a discussion worth having. And if you're not interested in listening, then turn the channel because I'm just getting started. Yes Shelley - they are worth pursuing, so here goes. Another presupposition of NLP is this Perception is projection Another way of saying this is "You get what you look for in life." It's true - to a certain extent. Have you ever noticed when you buy a new car - say a red Ford, that every second car on the road is a red Ford? [That's right, nod your head and say "Yes"] If you think that everyone is against you - guess what - you'll find plenty of evidence to suggest that they are. If you think that every comment you here is sexist or gender biased or racist or leftist or spiteful or rude or mean or nice or considerate or engaging - guess what - they are! It reminds me of the one-liner "I wouldn't be so paranoid if everyone didn't hate me" But it does explain why some people can think a piece is sexist and another can think it perfectly ok. Doesn't it. It goes further than this too [or perhaps another way of interpreting this same notion is]: you will end up seeing what you expect to see and meeting people you think you will. In fact it's possible to say that you will enter an entire world of your own creation. So why not make it a nice world that you will enjoy living in? Hmmmm. Something to think about. 8:05:08 AM    Comments ()