licentious radio

Monday, March 25, 2002
[10:42:54 AM]

We're all getting tired of long lines at the airport, strip searches, and gropings. Fortunately the White House website has a form you can fill out that will initiate your background check to become a preferred traveller.

Loyalty form at White House.

It may not be worth taking the time if you aren't white, but if you have blonde hair and blue eyes it's a slam dunk.

[10:32:54 AM]
I know a lot of you commie subversive types think this Fatherland-threat color-coding scheme is a lot of fascist hooey -- straight out of ~~1984 by George Orwell~~.

But I think it's a great idea. We just need to expand it a little.

Consider Afghanistan.... Threat level of seizure by American soldiers without due process: Red. Threat level of being bombed or machine-gunned by American pilots from 30,000 feet: Red.

Heck, consider Palo Alto.... Threat level to pedestrians from unsafe and illegal driver behavior: Red. Threat level of mass layoffs at HP: Green today, gradually rising to Red over the next nine months. Threat level of walking alone after dark: Red. Threat level (from car-jacking) of stopping for a red light late at night: Yellow.

Now take Los Angelos. Please.