Saturday, February 16, 2002

Gore Declares Maginot Doctrine [February 16, 2005] Paris --- President Gore; along with President Blair of the EU, today announced the Maginot Security Doctrine. This follows the escalating Internet security crisis. Gore declared that construction would begin for a Digital Wall to cut off most of Asia and the Middle East from the rest of the worlds computer networks. Gardner Associates released estimates that last years security violations and alerts took nearly 125 billion dollars out of the economy. Trustworthy Computing Inc. CEO Bill Gates has denied that bugs in his companies latest automatic-update-subscription offering were responsible for the failure of the New York Stock exchange for two days last week. He assured listeners at a conference today that the latest release of HackStop 2007 would be "the most secure version ever." He went on to state that he would support President Gore in building a modern Maginot to stop the international hacking threat. In other news: Prison officials report that former Vice-President Dick Cheney is recovering and doing well from yesterdays open heart surgery. UberSoft CEO Steve Ballmer has been charged with collusion with Microsoft CEO James Allchin in connection to the new NANO Protocols. The FBI announced raids at both company headquarters were carried out this morning. The International Red Cross has released upward-revised estimates of the dead from the recent nuclear exchange between India and Pakistan. Estimates have risen to over 112 million dead and nearly twice that number left homeless. The Afganistan Federation has requested aid to deal with the massive refugee crisis along it's former border with Pakistan. Genitxs announced clinical trials will begin in May for Viraxen. The potential cure for Cancer has shown great promise. The Republic of Saudi Arabia announced that they will be cutting production for the 22 time in 18 months, in an attempt to prop up oil prices above the $5.00 a barrel mark. In related news, Devron Inc CEO Sherron Watkins announced her intentions to run for Governor of Texas. Devron is the maker of fuel cells, Xntanol, and other alternate energy products, that have been credited with a complete turnaround in the US economy, and an end of the reliance on imported oil. The RIAA has announced that it will be appealing to the Supreme Court it's RICO convictions. It claims that it will bankrupt the industry if it has to meet the requirement of posting a 22 Billion dollar bond, while the appeal is in process. In related news, the Musicians Union announced that On-line subscriptions to its Artist-Web system has passed 300 million dollars per year. Analyst say that direct artist-supported subscriptions has turned the entire industry upside down. Beleaguered computer maker Apple has announced delays in shipping it's new G7 machines, but did announce an increase in shipments of OS X 12.1. Orders for the new iMac are reported to have passed 325,000 in the first month. The wearable computer's 3D headsup display has been called revolutionary. ...end transmission... of course all but the last item are just speculation...mj ;-) 6:14:03 PM

...speaking of cartoons. I owe a lot of cool tips to my friend Maya, but this is one of my favorites...check out UComics.com. This is what the Internet is all about, making my life simpler. The one thing I missed when I stopped getting the paper were the comics -- in Seattle it was worse because one paper [Times} had Doonsbury, while the other [P-I] had Dilbert -- now I subscribe to 8 different comics and they arrive every day...who needs newspapers...mj 12:41:35 PM

Duke is back...Watch Out ...any fan of Doonsbury will know what that means...it was only a matter of time. This guy has been attracted to messes back to the early 70s. Enron is the perfect venue -- loose money, no morals, no ethics, and more squeling then you'd hear at a bacon factory...Duke is the original action figure...mj 11:08:27 AM

Apple adopts new auditor policy In a brief statement this morning[2/15], Apple announced that it has adopted a new auditor policy which effectively prevents its auditors from doing non-financial consulting, such as information technology consulting or internal audit services. [MacCentral] ...three cheers for Apple doing what other companies need to do...mj 12:28:13 AM

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