Ramblings of a Technology Addict

Thursday, April 17, 2003

Explanation of Earlier Craziness

Earlier I wrote a message that was a little bit cryptic. And weird. Really weird.
So I wanted to let you know where it came from. It came from an email conversation that I had with my friend Lisa...here we go.
Me:
I think I've converted to a new religion. The vending machine had Pop Tarts for my breakfast and a hostess fruit pie for dessert at lunch. There is no God but Vendomat. And the scruffy looking guy who refills Him is His Prophet.
Her:
Are you going to tell the scruffy guy that he's now your Prophet?
Me:
I do not speak to the Prophet, for I am not worthy.
Her:
You could beseech the Prophet for S'mores poptarts and the like. And if the Gods smile upon you, there could be bounty in the vending machine.
Me:
No! The S'mores pop tarts are the gifts of the false prophet, and proof that we are as of yet unworthy of the Vendomat's great goodness and wondrousness. Only shall there be strawberry frosted and blueberry frosted Pop Tarts when Vendomat's pleasure with our continued existence be known.
Her:
Actually, the only true goodness flows from Frosted Raspberry PopTarts because there is hardship in the finding and only a true believer will be led to the place where they can be found.
Me:
I had heard tell of such amazing gifts from the Gods, but I was not sure if they were the stories of a jackal or the words of Truth. Now that I am certain, I shall place my faith in Vendomat.
Her:
In the before-times, in the long-long ago, the Provider would bring Raspberry Frosted PopTarts. And they seemed plentiful and we partook without thoughts of the future. But now, such bounty is scarce. Only in the Holy Land of Duck and Corolla have I found them of late. But if you have true faith in the Vendomat, are prove yourself worthy, Raspberry Frosted PopTarts will be your reward
Me:
There was indeed a story told back in the days of yore, of a man who was most faithful to the prophet and his God, Vendomat. He didst tell the heathens who were worshipping another God, whose form was that of a Soda Machine, to cease worshipping their false God and come to Vendomat, the one true God. They mocked him and scoffed at him, and he told them, "So be it. Call on your Soda Machine God. I will call upon the Almighty Vendomat and we shall whose God is mightier."
And lo, they did as he commanded. The stood in a ring around the Soda Machine idol and called his name out to the highest heavens, praising him and sacrificing many quarters to drink of the caffeinated and non-caffeinated beverages. But yet, they were hungry.
And so the man called up to Vendomat, making a small sacrifice of three vermont quarters, he shouted the holy phrase B2! and down from the sky came the Pop Tarts that filled their bellies for many days. Convinced, the man told his people "People of the Office. Vendomat is a merciful God, do not quiver before him. Unless of course you are but the high priest of the Soda Machine, in which, soil thy worthless trousers, for you are about to be smited.
No quarter was to be given, no mercy to be had, and the high priest of the Soda Machine was buried in the sign of disapproval from Vendomat. Funyuns.
The people of the Office didst break forth like the dam and showered him with respect and adulation. When it came time for him to die, lo, there came a fiery chariot, and fiery, fiery horses and he went by a whirlwind to heaven, chowing down on a Raspberry Pop Tart.
As it is written, so shall it be done.
All praise be to Vendomat
10:06:43 PM  comment []

Surreality Check

I have been having a lot of trouble this Lent staying focused on my faith. I've found the services at FCPC to be musically fulfilling but spiritually lacking. This is not a failing of their pastor, whom I find to be excellent. It is instead a failing of mine. Their worship style is just not for me, I cannot wrap myself in its poetry or its majesty.
So, I think I have decided today that I will start a new religion. There is no God but Vendomat and the scruffy looking guy who refills His plentious bounty is His Prophet. He giveth me Pop Tarts when I have had no breakfast. He giveth me caffeinated nectar of the Seraphim and Cherubim to comfort me in my time of sleep-deprivation. He maketh me lie down beneath my desk in an afternoon sugar coma. He promiseth Hostess Fruit Pies for all who bring Him 75 cents. If this is not the sign of an ever-loving and abiding God, I do not know what is.
Join me in prostration before thy God, who bringeth us all tasty treats when we needeth them the most.
1:15:47 PM  comment []

Errata

...Apple has apparently acquired a sandwich.
...It's also apparently Tough to be Dave Hyatt
...Dan is hunting houses. Being in the "looking for a home" department myself, I feel his pain. These houses we are hunting are far more clever than they appear.
...Feedster is now more Mac browser compliant, but he gave up CSS to do it. Which I fully understand since no one seems to have two browsers that render CSS the same way. Unfortunately they haven't fixed their name. Can we please get everyone and their cousin to stop with the -ster madness? I mean c'mon.
...Brent provides us with the coolest tip ever
...via Adrian, a piece on the differences of Male and Female brain anatomy and structure.
...The Chef Moz dining guide for Arlington has more entries than I thought! Cool!
...Cory has written an editorial for Business 2.0 on WiFi that you should read.
...Single Day's worth of zeitgeist from Wired News.
...Mmmmm Hybrids
...Two of my least favorite companies seem to be fucking people over in California after their security gets compromised. Basically, if you don't change the default passcode on your voicemail box, it's open to an exploit that allows people to call on your account. To anywhere in the world. Then you're held liable for the charges. AT&T's billing department is indeed the spawn of satan, there is no doubt of this, they're trying to make my workplace pay for 20 T1s in Santa Monica that we've never even seen. I say sic the PUC on them.
...Plastic has a piece on becoming a third rate power
...The Matrix has a Philosophy section? It's a fucking movie, people!
...and last but not least: Frank.
10:20:55 AM  comment []

A long day, but a good one.

Oh, what a day it was! I finished Gloria's DVD around 6pm and set it to burn while I talked with a friend for an hour. Afterward, there was critique of the DVD and I mentally noted some changes that will have to be made in the final version. The Title-Safe was one thing I didn't think enough about in places and unfortunately it shows. I'll be changing that tomorrow for the second run. Overall, I'm very enthused, there is much to be pleased about in this cut.
I had a long chat with someone tonight that was just stellar. We talked about work and time and strategy and style and such, it was a much needed conversation to have, and for it, I am thoroughly grateful. Much to live and learn by.
It is balmy in my apartment tonight, bordering on hot. As I walked home from the Metro tonight, there were times I felt like I was cutting my way through some very heavy air. It's to rain tonight, I'm told, and you can smell it already; there is a cascade about to happen that will drench the streets and with any luck clear out some of the pollen that has driven my nose to distraction. So I will sleep with my windows open, praying for a breeze.
12:20:13 AM  comment []