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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

"Tact is a stranger to you. I like that." - Chris Muir - Day By Day

"The man is a FREAK and a WEIRDO!" - Vigilance Matters

"The nicest thing about having Harvey around is that he makes the raincoat flashers look suave." - Rocket Jones

"...a very, very sick person." - She Who Will Be Obeyed

"pervert of renown extraordinare" - Practical Penumbra

"He's a really nice guy even if he is a little bit weird and creepy sometimes." - Reflections in d minor

"Curmudgeonly Old Coot" - BigStick.US

"Mr. Bad Example" - Straight White Guy

"Shpxurnq!!1!" - The Bartender of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon

"infamous den of rum, buggery, the lash, and pirate pickup lines" - ErosBlog




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  Thursday, September 04, 2003


As I did in the post below, it seems that this week EVERYONE obeyed the rules and entered inhumanly crappy posts. It's about time you freaks got it right!

...Uh, and me, too.

Anyway, having said that, I must also say, Escheresquely, that Kevin's commentary on this week's Bonfire is superbly zingy, and would never actually qualify for a Bonfire entry in its own right, despite the fact that it is, in fact, a part of the Bonfire, whose sole purpose is to suck like an Everestian Hoover.

Harv dizzy. Harv lay down now.



posted by Harvey at 7:35:45 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME


So, I'm following a link from Susie which she got from Good Black Glenn, which he got from Mr Green, whose site was found while scrolling around Blackfive, who had been gotten to via a link from me.

I think I'm my own grandpa now.

Anyway, let's try out the Slogan Generator (just three, I got a lot of blogging to catch up on):

1) They're Waffly Bad Money

2) Our Best Bad Money Yet

3) Because Bad Money Can't Drive

COOL! I've got my Bonfire entry for next week!




posted by Harvey at 7:25:14 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME


I couldn't agree more with Owen's point on a stupid John Kerry comment:


I’m a hunter and I believe in the Second Amendment but I’ve never gone hunting with an AK-47.

There's plenty to gripe about in the speech, but it's mostly the same drivel that's been argued about a million times. This quote struck me kind of strange.

My first thought was, "well... you haven't LIVED!" [just kidding]. My first thought was, "how arrogant is this man that he thinks that if HE doesn't need or want something, that America should BAN it?"


Stop by and read the other kicks Owen delivers.

Heh. Mustard.



posted by Harvey at 7:05:25 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME


I'm happily married, so I don't need custom car paint-jobs like the ones Owen posted.

But I'm not dead, so I'm still gonna look.

UPDATE 9-5-03: Per the comments, looks like this was Jed's post, now Owen's. Don't know how I missed that, what with it being in bright red letters and all. Must have been blinded by the lights...


posted by Harvey at 6:59:29 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME


Wisconsin's Governor, Jim Doyle, is so sleazy. First he harasses employment agencies on behalf of the unions to keep ex-cons from getting jobs at Tyson Foods, NOW he's trying to get ex-cons who are currently working for Tyson (they have to have jobs somewhere as a condition of their probation/parole) to work somewhere else.

Jeez, Jimbo, why don't ya just grab a freaking placard & walk the line with the rest of the Union thugs. "Not taking sides" my ass.

Anyway, Boots & Sabers has the sordid details. Very sordid, very detailed. Even got some names this time around. With a little prodding in the comments, we might be able to get Owen to release some e-mails & phone numbers, too.

Oh, and a follow-up.


posted by Harvey at 6:56:36 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




I had just gotten back from visiting grandma, and hadn’t even set my bags down when the phone rang…



Harv: Hello?


Voice: Hi. This is Glenn.


Harv: Dude! I’ve been meaning to call. I LOVE, and…


Voice: White Glenn.


Harv: Die, Puppy Blender!


White Glenn: Relax, currency freak. I’m calling to surrender.


Harv: Suh-huh-wha?


White Glenn: Suh-rend-der. I’m stepping down from my throne and handing the reigns of the blogosphere over to the Alliance.


Harv: Uh, gee… that’s nice and all, but why call me? I’m pretty far down on the ecospheric food chain. Why not surrender to Frank?


White Glenn: I tried, but he was out hunting monkeys.


Harv: Hmmm… how about Don? He’s pretty powerful. He just put a serious boot up your ass with that Den Bestian three-parter of his.


White Glenn: Aw, I couldn’t read his stuff anyway. I’m illiterate.


Harv: Illiterate? As in can’t read or write?


White Glenn: Not a word.


Harv: But you’re a lawyer!


White Glenn: Didn’t say I couldn’t bullshit.


Harv: Ah. Of course. So, how do you crank out all those blog entries?


White Glenn: An army of trained monkeys pounding away at computer keyboards, night and day. Why do you think I can only come up with crap like “Hmmm,” and “Indeed”?


Harv: Makes sense. But why surrender?


White Glenn: Which monkeys do you think Frank is out hunting?


Harv: I see. Ok, what are your terms?


White Glenn: Oh, unconditional. Alliance members split my hits and links equally, and my monkeys and I go back to lying.


Harv: Lawyering


White Glenn: Whatever.


Harv: What about the money?


White Glenn: The what?


Harv: The money. Frank promised the Alliance members bags and bags of money.


White Glenn: Get real. There’s no money in blogging. Well, except for Sullivan, but that’s just one of those nature-gone-horribly-wrong, four-legged-chicken kinda things. Anyway, I need my money. The Mazuri Monkey Crunch doesn’t buy itself, you know.


Harv: Your monkeys work for food?


White Glenn: Yeah. They're sorta like hobos that way, and…um… uh… oh no… can’t fight urge to… hammer… [WHACK!]… Heh. I lose more monkeys that way…


Harv: Indeed. But once you quit blogging, you won’t need monkeys anymore.


White Glenn: Like hell I won’t! Haven’t you read any Supreme Court decisions lately? “Racism is ok, except when it’s not, but I might change my mind in 25 years.” Bah! My monkeys can write better insane drivel than that, so they’re my meal ticket. Without my typing monkeys, I’m as useless as a union without mob connections.


Harv: Boo-hoo-hoo, law-talkin’ guy. Bags of money or BlogWar.


White Glenn: Well, uh, let’s see… [jingle, jingle] I’ve got some car wash tokens.


Harv: They got curvy bronze buttocks?


White Glenn: Actually, it’s a scantily clad octopus, but it does have curves.


Harv: Is this related to penguin porn?


White Glenn: Well, uh, actually, it's still just in the test-marketing phase, but…


Harv: ENOUGH! Wampum or warfare?


White Glenn: …uh...


Harv: WELL?


White Glenn: Puppy shake?


Harv: See you in hell. [click]



So I’m sounding the alarm. Beware the Instamonster’s Fedayeen-like false surrenders and spread the word. White Glenn is an illiterate exploiter of hobo typing-monkeys.


Just one more reason:


Instapundo Delenda Est.


posted by Harvey at 6:06:27 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



It's not enough just to buy "Counterfeiting For Dummies", you actually have to follow the instructions, too.


posted by Harvey at 4:33:26 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME

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