FULL CIRCLE

So, I'm following a link from Susie which she got from Good Black Glenn, which he got from Mr Green, whose site was found while scrolling around Blackfive, who had been gotten to via a link from me.

I think I'm my own grandpa now.

Anyway, let's try out the Slogan Generator (just three, I got a lot of blogging to catch up on):

1) They're Waffly Bad Money

2) Our Best Bad Money Yet

3) Because Bad Money Can't Drive

COOL! I've got my Bonfire entry for next week!

KERRY = ARROGANT DICKWEED

I couldn't agree more with Owen's point on a stupid John Kerry comment:

***************

I’m a hunter and I believe in the Second Amendment but I’ve never gone hunting with an AK-47.

There's plenty to gripe about in the speech, but it's mostly the same drivel that's been argued about a million times. This quote struck me kind of strange.

My first thought was, "well... you haven't LIVED!" [just kidding]. My first thought was, "how arrogant is this man that he thinks that if HE doesn't need or want something, that America should BAN it?"

****************

Stop by and read the other kicks Owen delivers.

Heh. Mustard.

NOW THOSE ARE HEADLIGHTS

I'm happily married, so I don't need custom car paint-jobs like the ones Owen posted.

But I'm not dead, so I'm still gonna look.

UPDATE 9-5-03: Per the comments, looks like this was Jed's post, now Owen's. Don't know how I missed that, what with it being in bright red letters and all. Must have been blinded by the lights...

STUPID GOVERNOR TRICKS

Wisconsin's Governor, Jim Doyle, is so sleazy. First he harasses employment agencies on behalf of the unions to keep ex-cons from getting jobs at Tyson Foods, NOW he's trying to get ex-cons who are currently working for Tyson (they have to have jobs somewhere as a condition of their probation/parole) to work somewhere else.

Jeez, Jimbo, why don't ya just grab a freaking placard & walk the line with the rest of the Union thugs. "Not taking sides" my ass.

Anyway, Boots & Sabers has the sordid details. Very sordid, very detailed. Even got some names this time around. With a little prodding in the comments, we might be able to get Owen to release some e-mails & phone numbers, too.

Oh, and a follow-up.

USING YOUR MONKEY

(A FILTHY LIE)

I had just gotten back from visiting grandma, and hadn’t even set my bags down when the phone rang…

Harv: Hello?

Voice: Hi. This is Glenn.

Harv: Dude! I’ve been meaning to call. I LOVE  contractorpeon.com, and…

Voice: White Glenn.

Harv: Die, Puppy Blender!

White Glenn: Relax, currency freak. I’m calling to surrender.

Harv: Suh-huh-wha?

White Glenn: Suh-rend-der. I’m stepping down from my throne and handing the reigns of the blogosphere over to the Alliance.

Harv: Uh, gee… that’s nice and all, but why call me? I’m pretty far down on the ecospheric food chain. Why not surrender to Frank?

White Glenn: I tried, but he was out hunting monkeys.

Harv: Hmmm… how about Don? He’s pretty powerful. He just put a serious boot up your ass with that Den Bestian three-parter of his.

White Glenn: Aw, I couldn’t read his stuff anyway. I’m illiterate.

Harv: Illiterate? As in can’t read or write?

White Glenn: Not a word.

Harv: But you’re a lawyer!

White Glenn: Didn’t say I couldn’t bullshit.

Harv: Ah. Of course. So, how do you crank out all those blog entries?

White Glenn: An army of trained monkeys pounding away at computer keyboards, night and day. Why do you think I can only come up with crap like “Hmmm,” and “Indeed”?

Harv: Makes sense. But why surrender?

White Glenn: Which monkeys do you think Frank is out hunting?

Harv: I see. Ok, what are your terms?

White Glenn: Oh, unconditional. Alliance members split my hits and links equally, and my monkeys and I go back to lying.

Harv: Lawyering

White Glenn: Whatever.

Harv: What about the money?

White Glenn: The what?

Harv: The money. Frank promised the Alliance members bags and bags of money.

White Glenn: Get real. There’s no money in blogging. Well, except for Sullivan, but that’s just one of those nature-gone-horribly-wrong, four-legged-chicken kinda things. Anyway, I need my money. The Mazuri Monkey Crunch doesn’t buy itself, you know.

Harv: Your monkeys work for food?

White Glenn: Yeah. They're sorta like hobos that way, and…um… uh… oh no… can’t fight urge to… hammer… [WHACK!]… Heh. I lose more monkeys that way…

Harv: Indeed. But once you quit blogging, you won’t need monkeys anymore.

White Glenn: Like hell I won’t! Haven’t you read any Supreme Court decisions lately? “Racism is ok, except when it’s not, but I might change my mind in 25 years.” Bah! My monkeys can write better insane drivel than that, so they’re my meal ticket. Without my typing monkeys, I’m as useless as a union without mob connections.

Harv: Boo-hoo-hoo, law-talkin’ guy. Bags of money or BlogWar.

White Glenn: Well, uh, let’s see… [jingle, jingle] I’ve got some car wash tokens.

Harv: They got curvy bronze buttocks?

White Glenn: Actually, it’s a scantily clad octopus, but it does have curves.

Harv: Is this related to penguin porn?

White Glenn: Well, uh, actually, it's still just in the test-marketing phase, but…

Harv: ENOUGH! Wampum or warfare?

White Glenn: …uh...

Harv: WELL?

White Glenn: Puppy shake?

Harv: See you in hell. [click]

So I’m sounding the alarm. Beware the Instamonster’s Fedayeen-like false surrenders and spread the word. White Glenn is an illiterate exploiter of hobo typing-monkeys.

Just one more reason:

Instapundo Delenda Est.

TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

 

It's not enough just to buy "Counterfeiting For Dummies", you actually have to follow the instructions, too.