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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

"Tact is a stranger to you. I like that." - Chris Muir - Day By Day

"The man is a FREAK and a WEIRDO!" - Vigilance Matters

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"...a very, very sick person." - She Who Will Be Obeyed

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"He's a really nice guy even if he is a little bit weird and creepy sometimes." - Reflections in d minor

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  Saturday, September 20, 2003


EVIL GLENN'S PENGUIN PORN - MORE LIES EVIDENCE

 

Having exhausted the financial possibilities of exploiting adult penguins, Evil Glenn turns to the manufacture of penguin "kitty porn".

[with apologies to Ambient Irony]

 


posted by Harvey at 10:34:11 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




FINALLY, SOME DECENT POETRY

I hardly ever see poetry I like. Except for this, of course.

But I found another goodie via the Carnival: A poem about 9-11 that's everything poetry OUGHT to be, but almost never is in this sad world of free-form blank verse. It's got meter, AND rhyme AND theme. A scathing indictment of Islamic extremists that's a pleasure to read.

Enjoy.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:46:15 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



GOD USES SPAM TO ANSWER YOUR PRAYERS

Don at Anger Management has been wondering if all that spam has a hidden message. It's a short musing, so it's hard to excerpt without giving it all away, but here's a touch:

**********

I have a theory, which I hope is not true -- it keeps me up at night wondering if perhaps I'm the least self-aware person on earth. I pray I'm wrong but it's occurred to me that perhaps spam is God's way of revealing truths that we'd rather not face.

"Are you ready for wild gay sex!?" I don't think so. But what if I'm wrong?

**********

Don, if you're listening, and not too busy with the serious writing, I'd LOVE to hear more on this topic.

And will you please stop over at enetation and get comments so that I can tell you right away that I damn near sprayed my monitor when I read this bit, instead of having to wait half a week? It's free, and they just upgraded their server.

Lynn, I'm looking at you, too. Except mostly it's to sing hymns of praise for analysis so insightful that I can only stand and look on in awe.

Here's my latest hymn:

Lynn, Lynn, Lynn,

Has no comments, it's a sin

She's just as good as Steve

Musical wisdom up her sleeve.

Lynn, Lynn, Lynn, Lynn, Lynn.

I call it "Ode to Lynn", and there's more where that came from, which I will threaten to print unless you get comments.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:34:41 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



CAREER DAY

I admit it, there are some days when I don't like my job. Cranky customers, people who don't know their account numbers, idiots who think it's MY fault that they're too stupid to balance their checkbook once a month and that it's consequently MY fault that they're overdrawn by $500 or so. GRRRR!

But I stopped over to Lynn's place, and she pointed me to this bit in Popular Science listing 18 of the worst jobs in science. For example:

***********

FLATUS ODOR JUDGE

DYSENTERY STOOL-SAMPLE ANALYZER

BARNYARD MASTURBATOR

***********

Ok, perspective regained. I love my job again.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:16:25 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



RIGHT WING NEWS - INTERVIEW WITH MILTON FRIEDMAN

I have NO idea how John manages to get these people on the phone, but now he's spent quality time with one of America's greatest economists.

"Economics? That's BORING. Stupid supply & demand curve. What-EVER"

Agreed. Your economics teacher was a dry, witless idiot. Believe me, I can relate & symphathize. But he never said stuff to make you pay attention in class like this:

************

John Hawkins: Let me ask you about this -- what do you say to people who claim that free trade will eventually lead to high unemployment in the US as large numbers of jobs move to cheaper labor markets overseas?

Milton Friedman: Well, they only consider half of the problem. If you move jobs overseas, it creates incomes and dollars overseas. What do they do with that dollar income? Sooner or later it will be used to purchase US goods and that produces jobs in the United States.

In fact, all of the progress that the US has made over the last couple of centuries has come from unemployment. It has come from figuring out how to produce more goods with fewer workers, thereby releasing labor to be more productive in other areas. It has never come about through permanent unemployment, but temporary unemployment, in the process of shifting people from one area to another.

When the United States was formed in 1776, it took 19 people on the farm to produce enough food for 20 people. So most of the people had to spend their time and efforts on growing food. Today, it's down to 1% or 2% to produce that food. Now just consider the vast amount of supposed unemployment that was produced by that. But there wasn't really any unemployment produced. What happened was that people who had formerly been tied up working in agriculture were freed by technological developments and improvements to do something else. That enabled us to have a better standard of living and a more extensive range of products.

The same thing is happening around the world. China has been growing very rapidly in recent years. That's because they shifted from a very inefficient method of agricultural production to something that comes close to the equivalent of private ownership of the land and agriculture. As a result, they've been able to produce a lot more with many fewer workers and that has released workers who have come into the cities and have been able to work in industry and other areas and China has been having a very rapid increase in income.

************

This man is a tall, cool glass of refreshing common sense. Enjoy.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:01:02 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



WHAT IF...?

Via Heather, a hypothetical question at Free Will:

************

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

************

He gives the Liberal, Conservative, and Texan answers, all of which are priceless, and accurate as far as I know, but I'm not positive about the Texan answer.

Jed, can I get confirmation on this?

Lynn?

 


posted by Harvey at 8:43:03 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



WRITE BETTER NIGERIAN SCAM E-MAILS

Ever get Nigerian scam e-mails? Have you ever mocked them for being so annoying and poorly written? Did you know they actually worked long and hard to perfect their writing style? It's not broken English, it's good marketing.

Via Heather of Angelweaving, comes this post revealing the events of the Third Annual Nigerian E-mail Conference. Excerpt:

***************

  • Breakfast Kickoff Session:
    Your choice: A hard boiled egg, or two slices of white bread and a cricket.

  • Keynote Address:
    Dr. Hamza Kalu's adds some historical perspective in his keynote address: "From Postal Scams To Email Scams: We Have Come a Long Way Infant Child."

  • Debate:
    Attend  a lively debate between Lady Mariam Abacha and Mr. Godwin Oyathelem. Topic: "The effectiveness of using all UPPERCASE characters."

  • Practical Discussion:
    Mallam Mahmud Abacah answers the question, "Are 10 million emails a day too many?"

  • Competition:
    Other countries are now adapting our business. Is this a threat or an opportunity?

  • Tech Session:
    Mrs. M Sese-Seko reveals valuable secrets in her session titled, "Those Pesky Email Headers"

  • Commerce:
    Find out how banking systems throughout the world operate -- with special emphasis on money transfers.

  • Linguistics:
    Damn, spam, scam, sham. And more rhymes in the "sticks and stones" category.

  • Telecommunications:
    Soliciting via cell phone text messaging: Can it work?

  • Accounting:
    The taxman he's a comin': Keeping good and accurate records.

  • Open Discussion:
    We will resume last year's high-spirited discussion of unionization, including health benefits.

  • Workshop:
    Grammatical errors: What's the optimal number?

  • ***************

    Plenty more where that came from.

     


    posted by Harvey at 8:26:31 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



    ATTENTION COFFEE LOVERS

    J, over at Quibbles & Bits, recently lost his espresso machine in an unfortunate brewing accident. Stop by, pay your respects, and give your coffee pot an extra hug today.

     


    posted by Harvey at 9:51:46 AM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



    I'D LIKE TO THANK...

    The Emperor for giving me my third Mishalanche in a week. If I had my unborn blog-son's talent, I'd be getting these every day. Go here to find out what kind of writing it takes to acquire the power to bestow 'lanches.

    Frank J. does his part to overinflate _Jon's ego with a Frankenlanche. All right, Frank, prepare to be devastated by the awsome power of a Moneylanche as I tell people there's a drink alert in effect for your post on Fun Facts About Pirates. An excerpt:

    **************

    * Pirates operate by boarding your ship, killing everyone on board, and stealing your treasure. So, if pirates ask to board, tell them no.

    * You may be able to avoid getting attacked by pirates if you drape a sign over the side of your vessel reading, "Radio Broken".

    * If you are captured by pirates, fight back by throwing all their oranges overboard. Now they'll all get scurvy - whatever the f--k that is.

    *************

    Kate over at Electric Venom for hostessing edition #6 of the Hunting of the Snark. A delightful compendium of the grouchiest, surliest, snarliest posts in the blogosphere. Turns out you actually have to hunt the snark, too. Kinda fun, actually. The only problem is that there were 22 entries, and between fingers, toes, and being a guy, I can only get to 21, so I think I may have missed something.

    and finally, Silflay Hraka for hosting the 1 year anniversary edition of the Carnival of the Vanities. Loads of goodies in that one, and I'll mention a few tomorrow.

     


    posted by Harvey at 12:17:15 AM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




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