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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

"Tact is a stranger to you. I like that." - Chris Muir - Day By Day

"The man is a FREAK and a WEIRDO!" - Vigilance Matters

"The nicest thing about having Harvey around is that he makes the raincoat flashers look suave." - Rocket Jones

"...a very, very sick person." - She Who Will Be Obeyed

"pervert of renown extraordinare" - Practical Penumbra

"He's a really nice guy even if he is a little bit weird and creepy sometimes." - Reflections in d minor

"Curmudgeonly Old Coot" - BigStick.US

"Mr. Bad Example" - Straight White Guy

"Shpxurnq!!1!" - The Bartender of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon

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  Monday, September 15, 2003


THE ALLIANCE ROCKS

After lagging behind by a hideous margin on Sunday, the Alliance kicked some nasty Axis ass to win sponsorship of the New Blog Showcase. A BIG  standing ovation to Romulus for his lighting fast result posting and heavy reward-linking of the voters.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:45:43 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




SEE, I TOLD YOU SO

<smug>Heh. I love it when I'm right. Let me quote me from Friday:

 

$$$$$$$$$$

Can he [Glenn Reynolds] actually make up a fake Glenn Reynolds quote? I mean, technically, every quote he tries to make up for himself will actually have been said by him, and therefore not be fake.

$$$$$$$$$$

 

Frank J., who's back from vacation feeling fresh & ready to beat the bloggery snot out of Evil Glenn, gives the obvious answer at HQ:

 

$$$$$$$$$$

First off, White Glenn cannot join the Alliance. The simple reason is that, as part of the Alliance, he needs a false quote praising his site attributed to Glenn Reynolds. White Glenn cannot write any false quotes attributed to himself since, as soon as he writes it, it will be a true quote of his. Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

$$$$$$$$$$

 

Great minds etc.</smug>

 


posted by Harvey at 9:27:16 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



LINCOLN ON 9-11

Yes, this post is late, but yes, American Digest's post is excellent. He rewrites the Gettysburg Address ever so slightly to make it appropriate for a 9-11 memorial:

****************

Two years ago our enemies brought to us on this continent a new war, conceived in hatred and dedicated to the proposition that all Americans are to be slaughtered because they are Americans.

Now we are engaged in a great global war, testing whether this nation or any nation so attacked can long find the courage to endure the duties and sacrifices necessary for victory.

We are met on our first mass grave of that war. We have come to remember it as a final resting-place for those who here were murdered in our airplanes, at their desks, or trying to save others. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground.

Our fellow citizens, living and dead, who struggled here and in the war since that day have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract.

******************

The other half is over here.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:11:16 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



TAX CUTS FOR DINNER

Over at All-Encompassingly, I found an simple and amusing explanation of how tax cuts work:

**********

Let's put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand.

Suppose that every day 10 men go out to dinner.

The bill for all ten comes to $100.

If it was paid the way we pay our taxes, the first four men would pay nothing; the fifth would pay $1; the sixth would pay $3; the seventh would pay $7; the eighth would pay $12; the ninth would pay $18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement until the owner threw them a curve.

“Since you are all good customers,” he said, “I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20".

Now dinner for 10 only costs $80. The first four are unaffected. They still eat for free.

Can you figure out how to divvy up the $20 savings among the remaining six so that everyone gets his fair share?

****************

For the answer, go thither.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:06:42 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



LYING 101

 

Debbye mentioned to me in a recent e-mail that lying about Evil Glenn can be quite difficult. I figure she's not the only chronically honest person out there, so I thought I'd try to give a few pointers.

 

Now, I'm not a professional liar (I dropped out of Law School in my second year), but I've given the matter some thought.

 

First, Heather gives a good description of the general technique in the comments to one of Susie's posts:

 

"Stream of consciousness, Susie. All it takes - be obnoxious, and then make the obnoxious more obnoxious, and then spin a tale"

 

That's the right attitude, but more specifically, the trick is this: Think of things you currently consider weird, bizarre, freakish, abnormal, creepy, discomforting, stupid, offensive, or just plain wrong. Once you have this something in mind, tie it to Evil Glenn. Have him enjoy this bad thing, and write about the resulting mental picture. Free your imagination and make it as unrealistic as possible.

 

Take Frank's 2 best lies, for example:

 

Hurting puppies is bad. Glenn enjoys it. The twist is that he blends them and drinks them, too.

 

Killing people is wrong. Glenn enjoys it. The twist is that he murders hobos, who are already helpless, sympathetic characters who are down on their luck.

 

Last night I thought about something that creeps me out: spiders. Glenn enjoys them. The twist is that he... Well, I'll be posting that later.

 

Hope this helps.

 

UPDATE: the spider lie is here.


posted by Harvey at 7:35:36 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

 

"Of course I wasn't out with another woman last night. See? This bill doesn't say "that filthy whore's apartment", now does it?"

 


posted by Harvey at 7:26:39 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



ALLIANCE ASSIGNMENT: GLENN REYNOLDS' FAVORITE SONG

Sure, I talk to the Instablender once in a while, but it's not like we're friends. So how would I know what his favorite song is? Although a couple days ago, I was walking by his house. Evil Glenn was out digging in his yard, shoveling dirt next to a six foot long black plastic bag like usual, and I could hear him singing.

I recognized the tune as being "I'm Looking Over A Four Leaf Clover", but the lyrics didn't seem right. I crept a little closer, keeping low and hiding behind a hedge, and I finally made them out.

It was horrifying.

Thinking fast, I took out my HP Jornada and recorded his repulsive words.

The MP3 was really lousy quality, so I'm not going to post the recording. But I did manage to transcribe the lyrics. After a little Googling, I found out that it's a fairly popular song amongst puppy blenders. The sickening lyrics can be found here.

 

 


posted by Harvey at 6:29:08 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




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