HONOR

I heard that during the recent hurricane, the soldiers guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers refused to abandon their posts, even though they had official permission to do so.

[insert 21-gun salute here]

Makes me DAMN proud to be a Vet.

THE LAST COMPUTER YOU'LL EVER NEED

I'm dedicating this one to my (currently blogless) brother Tom, who is forever tweaking his computer system.

Dana points out the ultimate full-immersion computer environment. And I'm making you go to her place for the direct link because her site's been sick for almost two weeks and she could really use the traffic.

And all you guys know you want to gawk at her picture anyway, so go ahead & indulge.

THE GERMANS - GOV'T SUCKS, NAVY ROCKS

Via His Imperial Majesty Emperor Misha I, I discovered that, on 9-11-03, a German Naval vessel rendered "extraordinary honors" to the USS Doyle (picture at linked site):

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"Military vessels routinely render honors to military ships of other countries when they pass at sea by dipping their flag, as a sign of respect. The German frigate FGS Niedersachsen went above and beyond this normal gesture of respect when it asked to come alongside the USS Doyle on September 11, 2003, the second anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the US. ...

The unexpected gesture touched the US sailors, Vice Admiral Timothy LaFleur described in an unclassified email: “From their main mast they flew our flag and they held their covers over their hearts. Needless to say, the whole crew was choked up and a few tears formed in our eyes. Both ships stayed next to each other in silence for about 5 minutes. These are the days that remind me why I joined the Navy.”"

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As former Navy enlisted, I'm well aware of what a pain in the ass it is to arrange to "man the rails" in full dress uniform. This was a phenomenal gesture of respect.

I'm glad I wasn't on the Doyle. My shipmates would never have stopped ragging me for bawling like a baby at the sight.

By the way, you might want to click on the link to Misha's piece. A mono-browed, spelling-impaired troll shows up in the comments, and gets taken apart with a Clue-machete.

Heh. Fun.

DISCOUNT SUPER-HERO

Don of Anger Management explains how he spends his Wednesday nights fighting crime:

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What you may not know is that, by night, I dress up like Batman and go around fighting crime. No, seriously.

Now, there are two problems I've encountered in my quest to become the true caped crusader. First, there really isn't all that much crime in Northern VA, so most of the time I just walk around and sucker-punch jaywalkers. Second, I'm not very tough, so when I do find bad guys they usually beat me up and steal my wallet. Which makes me think that maybe I shouldn't take my wallet with me when I'm fighting crime.

But that would lead to a whole other set of problems, like if I got pulled over driving my Bat Mobile without a license. Then the cop would be like, "You can't drive without a license Mr., um, Man." And then I'd be like, "No, it's just 'Batman'. I'm a mononominal, like, you know, 'Cher'."

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My favorite line comes somewhere farther down, and I reveal it in the comments at Don's place, if you're curious as to what it is. Drink Alert is in effect.

The post is Thursday, September 25, "Don: A Legend In His Own Mind" if permalinks are blogspotted.

I wonder if he'd consider a partnership with French-Man?

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Heather has the scoop on bosom enhancement. (Wednesday, Sept. 24 "Busted" if PAB)Trouble is, she doesn't put it in terms that non-fitness-enthusiasts can understand. So let me provide a little explanatory linkage for the ladies who'd like to "stand out" in the crowd:

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1) Incline chest press
2) Flat chest press
3) Decline chest press
4) Pec flyes

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Now if only she'd explain more about the whole "avoiding man-boobs" thing...

A NEW LOGO FOR BAD MONEY?

I actually might consider it, if the $ were the man in this gay happy couple.

COOL FACTOR = 11

Ok, brother Tom, looks like you'll be getting that forearm-computer pretty soon.

So says Owen.

Yet another item on my ever-growing list of "gotta-have" toys.

HANDY SEX TIPS

Don at Anger Management explores a few sexual myths. Good readin' here:

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Myth #2: Guys give a damn if you have a few extra pounds.

Ladies, I don't know what I can say to help you get this through your heads, but when you undress for a guy he's not comparing you to anyone else, he's not disappointed you don't look like Britney Spears, and he most certainly isn't going to be turned on by you pointing out any of your alleged flaws. Any guy worth sleeping with wants, first and foremost, you to be confident and comfortable with your body. If you go around bitching about having big thighs are a tummy it's not unlikely that that's going to be the first time the guy notices and from then on it's all he'll be able to notice. So don't do it. Don't. Do. It.

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4 more where that came from.

(Wednesday, Sept. 24 "More Sex... Please" if PAB)

HEH.

I found this at Right Wing News, and it's just too good not to steal it whole:

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A squad of Infantrymen drove up the highway between Basra and Baghdad. They came upon an Iraqi soldier badly injured and unconscious. Nearby on the opposite side of the road was an American soldier in a similar state, but he was alert. As first aid was given to both soldiers, they asked what had happened.

The American soldier responded, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway. Coming south was a heavily armed Iraqi soldier".

"What happened then?" the medic asked.

"I told him Saddam Hussein was a miserable piece of shit, and then the Iraqi told me that Tom Daschle, Ted Kennedy, and Bill Clinton were miserable pieces of shit.

"We were shaking hands when the truck hit us."

CLASSICAL MUSIC

I'm a little surprised at the source for this one, but, in retrospect, I suppose I shouldn't be. Mike of Cold Fury explains the difference between Beethoven and Mozart. In the privacy of my own head, I've always thought of them as "The Power and The Glory", respectively, but Mike's metaphors expand on the theme and make everything crystal clear:

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Beethoven is a rocket to Mars (the God O’ War planet, by the way, and not for nothing do I make that comment), and Mozart is a finely-tuned Ferrari. Beethoven is all brute strength and power and anger and the sweetness of purest blistering rage, and Mozart is every good thing that God ever made, with all the warmth and achy longing and bittersweet feeling that God intended when he cursed us Men with Women.

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He continues with some sexual metaphors which, while crude, are also spot-on accurate. If you've listened to both Beethoven and Mozart in your life (and you have whether you know it or not, since you know the opening notes of Beethoven's Fifth, and you know Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star), you'll probably agree.

MUSICAL MYSTERIES EXPLAINED

Lynn can't remember where she got this from, but I'm glad she blew the dust off it & put it on the virtual mantlepiece:

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Understanding Different Styles of Music

I can't remember where I found this. I copied it and saved it over a year ago.

JAZZ - Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes.

BLUES - Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning.

WORLD MUSIC - A dozen different types of percussion all going at once.

OPERA - People singing when they should be talking.

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Six more where that came from. Go read them. And don't forget to drop her a line explaining the whole codpiece & chaps thing.

By the way, Lynn, did anyone offer to help you get comments working yet?

THE QUEEN OF AESTETICS LINKS...

Now this is an amazing find. Leave it to Lynn to discover something like this. It's a central linkage hub for some of the best art sites on the web. And a lot of it actually doesn't suck. Sure, there's a few modern art monstrosities, but there's also plenty of images that, when you look at them, make you feel a sense of awe at the thought that human beings could give form to such visions. It's very picture intensive, so if you're on dial-up, you might want to have a good book handy. Or a Bill Whittle essay open in another window.

Also in the her post is a link to the Circus of Disemboweled Plush Toys. It wasn't impressive to me, personally, because my Border Collie, Bandit, likes nothing better than to lay down with a stuffed animal between her paws, ripping out clump after clump of stuffing and scattering it about the floor. Click the link at see what life is like at my house.

As for the information on porcupine sex habits, well, I'm just gonna write that off as an artistic quirk.

IMPORTANT COLON INFO

Normally I delete spam without a second thought. However, the subject line above made me curious. I looked:

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I don't want to die! I'm having my colon removed IMMEDIATELY!

TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



As Chomps chased the filthy hippy down the alley, a penny fell out of his raggedy, tie-dyed jeans. This made Chomps very angry... and confused. Should he attack the penny or attack the hippy? Penny... hippy... penny... hippy... which one should he savage? In his dim, doggy mind, Chomps knew the answer:

BOTH.

Two days later, the penny emerged with only superficial chewing damage. The hippy emerged as an undifferentiated brown mass, but at least he smelled better.

SUSIE IN A THONG

Susie's in a contest and the winner gets a thong. If she wins, she might post pictures. Go vote.

SINGLE WHITE MALE TURNS INTO INCREDIBLE HULK

Or at least he picked a green background for his site, which used to be a real whitemare. He's got comments now, and he's looking for website improvement advice. Stop by, say howdy, and give some decorating tips, if you're of a mind to.

INSURANCE VS. THE WELFARE STATE

It's a fairly simple point, but it bears repeating. Insurance is a good thing. Welfare is a bad thing. Virtue Pure explains it all in under 60 seconds.

(Friday September 12 if PAB)

Via CoTV #52.

I WANT TO ASK, BUT...

Elliot has a one-line piece of advice at Curiosity. Part of me wants to know how he acquired this knowledge, part of me doesn't. I'm torn.

(2nd entry under Sat Sept 13, if PAB)

XXX BLACK PEEING PORN

You should've seen the bemused look on my face when I saw that in my Google referrer logs.

Oh well, If that search is gonna find me, I might as well try to move up the rankings. Anything for traffic, I always say.

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There, THAT should help.

Cool. Bonfire entry.

UPDATE 9-28-03: YES!