LIBERALS ARE SO FREAKING DUMB

Ok, that was a mean, partisan thing to say. But Owen posts proof. Liberal radio talk show hosts try to explain why they're less popular than people with actual talent:

**********

"The reason that we have a right-wing dominance of talk radio — and it's not conservative, it is right wing — is because it pays for corporate America. For every dollar they put into that, they are getting thousands of dollars in tax breaks," Crockett said.

**********

Certainly can't be because you're an incoherant fool, now can it? Nope. Gotta be a giant corporate conspiracy.

Which is fine. Be stupid. I don't care. But what the hell is it with Liberals that they keep tripping over Godwin's Law?

**********

"The opportunity is there, with the political climate in the country ... we have been sucked so far to the right by media, by the political class in this country. There is a hunger to hear something other than the goose-stepping, right-wing rhetoric that you hear coast to coast, border to border, 24-7," he said.

**********

Goose-stepping means Nazi which means you lose the argument, asshat.

Go read the rest and marvel at these glittering jewels of colossal ignorance.

BABY TOYS

Owen, over at Boots & Sabers, points out how ridiculous it is for the government to be wasting your tax dollars on stupid, irrelevant, frivolous crap like a web site that lets you do all manner of research on the popularity of baby names.

He's absolutely right, of course.

Also, (of course) I'm helpless to stop myself from checking out how popular my name is...

Hmmm... apparently "Harvey" was popular name #776 in 1991, and dropped more or less steadily until 1998, when it slipped below #1000, and dropped off the chart.

Hopefully my fabulously popular blog will change this horrifying trend. Everybody name your next son after me.

[shaking head to restore clarity] Uh... I mean, what a stupid waste of taxpayer money! Yeah. That's what I meant.

FOX THIS

I learned to love Fox News during the Iraq war. Fair and balanced my ass. They were unashamedly pro-US, and I enjoyed it. And because I know the players in this little drama, (and actually having seen Jaws in the theater back in '74 when that mechanical shark was bleeding edge FX), I really enjoyed Blather Review's parody of Fox News handling the shark crisis in Amity. Here's a bite:

*************

Britt Hume: Hi and welcome to Special Report, I'm Britt Hume.
Joining me now to discuss the situation at Amity Island tonight is our extended panel. Please welcome James Carville, Jeff Birnbaum, Sean Hannity, Jonathan Alter and Dennis Miller.

Sean, let me start with you. Captain Quint's boat, the Orca, has been at sea all day having set off to find and kill the Great White shark. Question: Are these three men -- Quint the Captain, Matt Hooper the oceanographer, and Police Chief Martin Brody -- enough to get the job done?

Hannity: This is the problem with Liberals today, Britt. First they didn't want anybody to kill the shark because they're totally beholden to PETA and the environmentalists; they make outrageous claims about the loss of life that'll take place if they try to get the shark; THEN they turn around and complain that there aren't ENOUGH guys on that boat that's gone out to kill it. It's sad what the party of JFK - an avid boater in those same waters - has become.

Carville: Wait now...let's just look...let's look at what we got heah. We got three guys going out on a ricketty old tub...they may be fine men, I do'no...going out to kill a shawk! What what what is...what threat is this shawk to them?
It only ate people who were in the watah! I mean you go into the watah where there are shawks and, I'm sorry to break it to ya folks, but yer gawna get eaten!

Hannity: James, four people and one dog have been slaughtered by this monster...

Carville: Well it didn' walk onto the beach, Sean. If that fish was lyin' on a blanket with a basket of lotion then I'd say there's a problem...but let the shawk be a shawk...

*********

and it just keeps rollin' right along from there.

Heh. Love that Carville.

Hat tip to the Link-Madam for this one.

THIRTY THINGS

Yeah, this is another one of those horrid, sexist posts that makes fun of women. But I found it amusing anyway. Via the Alliance Specialty page, I found DarthVOB posting a list of "30 Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say".

An excerpt:

************

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

4. Bar food again! Kick a--.

5. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

***********

One of the many things I love about my wife is that 3, 12, 15, 16, 17, 21, 24, 25, and 27 are at least imaginable.

I wonder how Lynn would do on this list?

A GOOD FLIGHT

Blackfive has a story I almost wish was mine. After countless years of being jacked around with flight delays & cancellations by Northwest Airlines while in the Navy, it's nice to see that some airlines know how to treat their customers:

*************

We pulled up to the Southwest counter at 11:50am. I cut to the front of the line. I am dripping with sweat and the front of my shirt is covered in blood and I have blood clots on my nose and chin.

Customers start complaining that I am cutting in line. I was on the verge of losing it and beating one of the customers with the stantion. I looked like Death on a bad day.

Blackfive: "Look! I have five minutes to catch my flight. I was just in a car accident. I am getting married and HAVE TO BE ON THAT FLIGHT!"

The Ticket Agent looks me and up and down, checks my itinerary, makes an obvious conclusion, and calls for a porter. She didn't check me in. I didn't think I was going to make it on the flight, and, if I rented a car and drove the 320 miles, I would be late to the rehearsal and subsequent dinner. Not good, not good at all...

SWA Ticket Agent: "Paul, get this guy on his plane. Move!"

****************

Go read the whole thing. It's 9-5-03 "Why I will always fly Southwest Airlines" if permalinks are blogspotted.

TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Spent on a bag of Doritos: October 7, 2000.