Friday, August 27, 2004

The Yellow Peril Xing Huina of China was the surprise winner of today's Olympic women's 10,000 meter race in Athens, beating a group of more highly regarded runners from Kenya and Ethiopia. I jotted down what NBC's track and field commentator, Tom Hammond, had the prescience to point out after the race: And remember, the 2008 Olympics will be held in Beijing -- and Xing Huina is only 20 years old. Right, Tom.  And there are a billion more just like her, all waiting to take away our medals, and our jobs. 6:37:21 PM

The Stunt Man Freudian slip of the day: Doug Collins, covering the USA vs. Argentina Olympic men's basketball game today for NBC, fleetingly referred to the American team as "the United Stunts of America" before correcting himself. It's an appropriate appellation.  If Clinton had tried a stunt like Bush's war in Iraq, he would have been thrown out of office -- and deservedly so. During the Clinton impeachment hearings, there was speculation by some of his opponents about the possibility of pursuing criminal charges once he became a private citizen.  The most rabid among them would probably have been satisfied with nothing short of decapitation. Sure, the guillotine is a barbaric form of capital punishment, but the option should be reserved for extreme circumstances.  Besides, Bush would never notice his brain was missing. 1:24:23 PM

The Blind Leading The Deaf & The Lame The Sydney Morning Herald calls the blind tenor Andrea Bocelli "The King of Popera" and explains why, although "he may be a hit with the masses," he "has few fans within opera's establishment": The fact that he sings into a microphone disguises the inherent lack of power in his voice . . . . As Opera Australia's managing director Adrian Collette explains: "Amplification doesn't just augment the voice, it can cover up a lot of mistakes." "Bocelli, for example, has a small voice and sings out of tune from time to time, but the amplification reverb helps cover that up.  It can also extend notes so they sound like they're being held longer." In the same article, London opera critic Norman Lebrecht adds: "Bocelli is, plain and simple, a San Remo smoocher who was snapped up by desperate classical labels as a marketing gimmick - it's the blind leading the deaf.  He is rarely in tune and never in tempo. Contrast this with the widely-acclaimed German bass-baritone Thomas Quasthoff, whom I once saw in recital seamlessly segue from a Bach cantata to a stirring rendition of "Old Man River."  Quasthoff, who was a thalidomide baby and consequently is barely four feet tall with virtually no arms, charmingly understates his affliction as follows: 1.34 meters tall, short arms, seven fingers - four right, three left - large, relatively well formed head, brown eyes, distinctive lips; profession: singer. Given their respective handicaps, neither Bocelli nor Quasthoff is likely to have a successful stage career in opera.  And a joint appearance is even less probable, since audiences would then be faced with the specter of a blind man tripping over a dwarf. 11:41:07 AM