Thursday, June 19, 2003

Will Play Soccer For Food I'm not quite sure if this is a good idea or not, but the Homeless World Cup Soccer Tournament will be held in Graz, Austria next month.  Eighteen teams will be participating from around the world.  Even the United States has a team.  I have a picture to prove it.  Who wouldn't want to chant "USA!  USA!" when these athletes hit the field? I have a couple of questions, though.  First, who will be the home team in any given match?  Isn't the point that they don't have homes?  How can they be the "home team" without a home to begin with?  Secondly, what's the point?  The official website states that "the unifying passion for soccer has a unique ability to shift social borders."  It does?  I thought it just had a unique ability to spark riots.  Will holding this tournament truly help the homeless?  No, but jobs would.  Plus, I don't think making a spectacle of these poor folks will change the problem of homelessness one bit.  Giving them jobs would.  Giving them skills that they could use to earn some money in the future would.  Something tells me that Ronaldo has nothing to fear from one of these folks taking his gig. So unless the next David Beckham is sleeping in a refrigerator box somewhere just waiting for an opportunity like this one to come along, I'm leaning toward the opinion that this isn't going to make much of a dent at all.  If I'm wrong and it does start to change the world, I'll be the first in line to buy tickets to the Homeless Olympics, which are sure to come, and first to chant "USA!  USA!" in the stands while starting the wave. I will not chant "YMCA" and do the stupid dance, though.  Some lines I just will not cross. Related links: The Homeless Guy:  A homeless man somehow manages to have a website like mine. Hugs for Homeless Animals:  Puppies and kitties need a roof, too. Who is Homeless?:  Demographical statistics of who these folks are. Soccer Sucks:  I happen to really like soccer, but not everyone does. 2:01:33 PM     |

She Said, She Meant Before a guy enters into a new relationship, it is helpful to brush up on the female use of the English language.  The way a woman uses it and the way a man uses or understands the language are two completely different things.  Men and women aren't just from two different planets.  It's more like two different, semi-parallel universes.  But before any guys fret, here is a short primer on the most common phrases you'll hear her say and the correct way to interpret them. The woman says: You want The woman means: You want The woman says: We need The woman means: I want The woman says: It's your decision The woman means: The correct decision should be obvious The woman says: Do what you want The woman means: You'll pay for this later The woman says: We need to talk The woman means: I need to complain The woman says: Sure... go ahead The woman means: I don't want you to The woman says: I'n not upset The woman means: Of course I'm upset, you moron The woman says: You're ... so manly The woman means: You need a shave and sweat a lot The woman says: Be romantic, turn out the lights The woman means: I have flabby thighs. The woman says: This kitchen is so inconvenient The woman means: I want a new house. The woman says: I want new curtains. The woman means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper! The woman says: I need wedding shoes. The woman means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white. The woman says: Hang the picture there The woman means: No, I mean hang it there! The woman says: I heard a noise The woman means: I noticed you were almost asleep. The woman says: Do you love me? The woman means: I'm going to ask for something expensive. The woman says: How much do you love me? The woman means: I did something today you're not going to like. The woman says: I'll be ready in a minute. The woman means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap. The woman says: Am I fat? The woman means: Tell me I'm beautiful. The woman says: You have to learn to communicate. The woman means: Just agree with me. The woman says: Are you listening to me? The woman means: [Too late, you’re doomed.] The woman says: Yes The woman means: No The woman says: No The woman means: No The woman says: Maybe The woman means: No The woman says: I'm sorry The woman means: You'll be sorry The woman says: Do you like this recipe? The woman means: You better get used to it The woman says: All we're going to buy is a soap dish The woman means: I'm coming back with enough to fill this place. The woman says: I'm not yelling! The woman means: Yes I am! I think this is important! In answer to the question "What's wrong?" The woman says: The same old thing. The woman means: Nothing. The woman says: Nothing. The woman means: Everything. The woman says: Nothing, really. The woman means: It's just that you're an idiot. The woman says: I don't want to talk about it. The woman means: I'm still building up steam.     Related link: 95 Things Every Man Should Know Before He Is Thirty-five 7:50:10 AM     |

© Copyright 2005 Alex L. Mauldin.