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Thursday, February 12, 2004
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(Introduction)
All the love that history knows,
Is said to be found in every rose.
Yet all the love that could be found in two,
Is less than what I feel for you.
[to which I added]
Happy 8 month anniversary :-)
[note: Yes, I still count the months, and yes, I still give her a single rose on every one. 58 and counting.]
posted by Harvey at 11:21:27 PM permalink HOME
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Two questions:
Why do you suppose Young Master Fischer is looking for someone who
sucks click, and why is he bragging about being a fussy eater?
posted by Harvey at 11:14:17 PM permalink HOME
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GET UP! GET UP! GET OUTTA HERE! GONE!
I'm sure you've seen the "Yeti hits the penguin with a baseball bat" flash game here and there. Lots of fun.
I just wanted to brag about some of my scores:
Shortest non-zero hit: 79.8
UPDATE: 65.5
Shortest face-plant: 188.9
Longest face-plant: 207.6
Longest hit: 323.5
If you can beat any of those, I want to see pictures.
posted by Harvey at 10:23:11 PM permalink HOME
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I SAY LET 'EM GET MARRIED
Larry the Liberal, guest-posting at Semi-Intelligent Thoughts, uses this story about tree marriage
Two trees "married" to appease rain god in Indian village
NEW DELHI (AFP) - Hundreds of
people have attended a wedding between two trees in hopes of pleasing
the god of rain, United News of India reported.
To the chanting of Hindu
hymns, a cleric tied a knot on a neem tree, which was the bride, to
solemnise its eternal union with a peepul tree, the news agency said.
to argue for the legalization of dendrophilic matrimony in America.
Frankly, I have to take Larry's side on this one. Unless we get these trees properly wed, we'll forever be faced with promiscuous lumber parading their immorality in ways that are not suitable to be seen from a place of business.
posted by Harvey at 10:12:31 PM permalink HOME
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NOW THERE’S A TWIST
While Susie was busy carefully choosing tiny tidbits of truth to share, Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks was blithely cranking out lie after lie to deceive the masses for his “100 things” post. For example:
17) I was listed in our school yearbook as "Student most likely to completely fail at everything he tries to accomplish".
18) I usually only mostly fail.
Completely failing requires a dedication I lack. Once I hit about 75%
failure, I usually give up.
19) Right out of high school I got a job up north clubbing baby seals.
20) I got the job easily, because
all PGA tour certified drivers have to be tested on the skulls of baby
seals (it's in the 3879 page addedum to the rules of golf. Most people
don't know this).
21) I quit because I'd whiff and miss 3 out of 4 of the baby seals.
22) I'd usually shank the one I managed to hit to the right.
24) I really need to work on my golf swing.
If there’s anything I hate more than evil, deceiving, filthy liars,
it’s evil, deceiving, filthy liars who make me laugh coffee out my nose.
<shaking fist>Damn you, Graumagus!</shaking fist>
posted by Harvey at 8:15:14 PM permalink HOME
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CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES #73...
...is up at On The Third Hand.
I honestly didn't find a lot to shout about. I'm a little burned out on
Democratic Primary politics just now. But I did enjoy reading this piece by Forgotten Fronts.
Yes, it's on Demo-politics, but... well... it wasn't so much what the
point of the piece WAS, as it was the piece's elegant construction. It
read like Sorge wrote this on purpose instead of just letting a bunch
of crap tumble randomly out of his head.
There's a nice personal-touch anecdote to get you warmed up, a little
"where's he going with this?" hook early on, then he starts leading you
toward his point with some relevant examples, then he makes his point,
and then he stops writing.
Lord, what I wouldn't give to see this formula a little more often.
posted by Harvey at 8:06:23 PM permalink HOME
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MORE RULES
First day on my blogroll and Jim of Snooze Button Dreams has already inspired a post.
The meme of the month is blogging rules, and Jim, impressively, manages to carve the standard 10 down to 4. Although I think his version if fairly accurate, I do feel the need to try
to top him (it's a guy thing). Therefore, I offer the E=mc2 of
blogrules. The tiny equation that says it all:
P=FO
I call it the Pretty F****** Obvious formula, Where:
P = popularity of your blog
F = how frequently you post
O = average degree of originality in your entries
Instapundit may post nothing but trite cliches and dead-horse-beaten
memes, but he Gigaposts every day - thus his Ecospheric dominance.
Bill Whittle has never actually posted an entry in our lifetimes, but if he did, it would
be so fantastically great and completely unlike every other post in the
universe that, if
he were to post before another half-life of carbon-14 ticks by, you
would be compelled by unseen and irresistable forces to go read it immediately. He only has 13 posts of note, but over 750,000 visits. Now THAT'S power.
My advice for popularity? Aim between the extremes. Try to put up at least 2 posts every day, and try to have at
least one of them be something you can't get anywhere else.
Make the other one a link to a Bad Money post.
You'll do fine.
posted by Harvey at 8:01:43 PM permalink HOME
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SUSIE GIVES US A PEEK AT HER...
...Roman Numeral counting skills as she rattles off 25 more things about herself,
to accompany the 50 she gave us a few months back. Since they're all
actually about her this time, it's actually just as revealing as the
last list, which was half about the people she loves.
Good things to know if you're taking Susie out for Valentine's Day:
vi. My favorite white cheese is Muenster
vii. My favorite beer is Michelob Amber Bock
Things that frighten me:
xvii. I know all the words to "I'm just a little black rain cloud" from Winnie the Pooh
xviii. I sing it when I'm driving
And one thing that makes me shiver with delight:
xix. I love the Pre-Raphaelite painters
Susie neglected to give this link
in that last one. I'd like to brag that I already knew about this
crowd, but only because I Googled it a couple years back after hearing
about them in the only mystery novel I've ever enjoyed called "Spent Matches".
posted by Harvey at 7:41:53 AM permalink HOME
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I WISH SOMEONE WOULD TRY TO STEAL MY STUFF
Jed of Boots & Sabers quotes this story at length, but I'll just go directly to my favorite part:
A convicted burglar sentenced in Calhoun County to 20 years in
prison this week as a repeat offender had an unusual run-in with his
victim.
The victim, Richard Bussey, says he drove up to his father's rural
residence last summer and found a man loading furniture and other items
into a pickup truck.
Bussey held a gun on the would-be thief and ordered him to return
the furniture. Bussey didn't have a telephone, so he made 45-year-old
Roy Andrew Gendron mow the lawn with a push mower until he could think
of a plan to alert authorities.
I need this guy to stop by about twice a month during the summer. Pity he's in jail now. Mheh.
posted by Harvey at 7:14:31 AM permalink HOME
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© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 9/10/2005; 5:12:26 PM.
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MAIN ARCHIVES
CATEGORY ARCHIVES
GRAFFITI CURRENCY
200 WORDS OR LESS
FILTHY LIES
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PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR
KING OF THE BLOGS
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