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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

"Tact is a stranger to you. I like that." - Chris Muir - Day By Day

"The man is a FREAK and a WEIRDO!" - Vigilance Matters

"The nicest thing about having Harvey around is that he makes the raincoat flashers look suave." - Rocket Jones

"...a very, very sick person." - She Who Will Be Obeyed

"pervert of renown extraordinare" - Practical Penumbra

"He's a really nice guy even if he is a little bit weird and creepy sometimes." - Reflections in d minor

"Curmudgeonly Old Coot" - BigStick.US

"Mr. Bad Example" - Straight White Guy

"Shpxurnq!!1!" - The Bartender of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon

"infamous den of rum, buggery, the lash, and pirate pickup lines" - ErosBlog

	Sunday, February 22, 2004

OTHER USES FOR TERRORISTS (A PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ASSIGNMENT) Reduce, reuse, recycle, I always say. So once you catch one of these nasty little terrorist buggers, don't let him rot in a jail cell, put him to good use: Combination parachute tester and laser guided missile target. Mobile radioactive waste disposal unit McDonald's quality control tester. Pour a cup of coffee on his crotch to see if it's too hot to serve to customers. Shove a magnet up his ass & use him for a metal detector. Attack dog training dummy. No more wear and tear on delicate and expensive foam pads. High voltage power line tester. *ZORCH!* Yup, that one was live. Fear Factor stunt viability checker. Trying to find sewing needles in a tub full of rattle snakes – Good idea? Bad idea? Only one way to find out… Testicle vise calibrator – and remember, this is for posterity, so please… be honest. How do you feel? Michael Bolton's sound board technician... No... too cruel. How many licks DOES it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? The world will soon know. Oops! That's not Tootsie Roll in the center... Sammy Sosa super-corked batting practice. New proctologists have to start learning somewhere. Nipple piercer to the stars. First up, Michael Moore. Porno movie set mop boy. Damn! Can't find the mop. Well, just squeegee up what you can with your hands and tongue-wipe the rest. Oh, and Mr. Jeremy needs fluffing. SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS! posted by Harvey at 10:14:37 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME

TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY Let's see... all capital letters, lots of exclamation points... could this possibly be the first installment of that $10 million I'm expecting from Nigeria? (hat to to currently blogless talented writer HySpeed for the pic) posted by Harvey at 9:14:25 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME

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