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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

"Tact is a stranger to you. I like that." - Chris Muir - Day By Day

"The man is a FREAK and a WEIRDO!" - Vigilance Matters

"The nicest thing about having Harvey around is that he makes the raincoat flashers look suave." - Rocket Jones

"...a very, very sick person." - She Who Will Be Obeyed

"pervert of renown extraordinare" - Practical Penumbra

"He's a really nice guy even if he is a little bit weird and creepy sometimes." - Reflections in d minor

"Curmudgeonly Old Coot" - BigStick.US

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  Monday, February 23, 2004


PERMALINK CONTEST ENTRIES ARE UP AT IMAO

Go vote for the best one.

Or the funniest one.

Or the one that made you laugh the hardest.

Here's the best way to decide who to vote for. Read the first one, then count the spittle flecks on your monitor. Wipe clean. Repeat. The one with the most flecks is the one you should vote for.


posted by Harvey at 11:01:34 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Love is when you look into someone's eyes and suddenly you go all the way inside their soul and you both know it.


posted by Harvey at 10:58:03 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY


[Beer Voucher]

This is written on every single bill in Matty O'Blackfive's wallet.



posted by Harvey at 10:56:37 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



WHAT UP, ALLIANCE, YO!

3 filthy lies.

Reminder that your Precision Guided Humor assignment: What are some alternative uses for terrorists? is due Wednesday night.


posted by Harvey at 10:16:51 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



MADFISH WILLIE'S COMMENT PARTY

Quite a wild time was had by all, and the whole mess is still available for your reading pleasure.

Also, via Physics Geek, I found one of the pictures from the party that's been circulating on the internet already.

 



Here we see Eric and Trey rushing forth with gleeful cries to take their turn on the olive-oil-covered Slip-N-Slide. Behind Trey is me, (you can sort of make out a leg). I was, at that moment, on all fours, getting a happy tapping from the "Pleasure Paddle", which Tiffany wielded with such style and grace - not to mention delicious brutality. Finally, over on the right, we see Mike the Marine, who was busy getting a Lewinsky from one of the Corner of the Bar Babes, but I don't remember who.


posted by Harvey at 9:37:32 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




KERRY ALSO LOOKS LIKE...

A while back, I had a post on the people John Kerry looks like.

Well, it turns out I missed one. According to Dave of HeadChair, Kerry was the model for the New England Patriots helmet logo.

The sunken eyes, the gaunt cheek-bones,  that acre of chin...

Oh yeah.


posted by Harvey at 8:06:49 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



PHONETIC TRANSCRIPTION DIFFICULTIES

Being the sort of person I am, I often get strange looks from people after I make... certain innuendo-laden statements. After which I protest my innocence by saying "what?" as in "why are you looking at me like that? I'm an angel and I couldn't possibly have meant anything dirty".

The question is, how do I write that?

The obvious answer is: "just like you wrote it above, dumbass." But the problem with that is that it can possibly be confused with the "I didn't hear what you said" "what?" or the "I can't believe I just heard you make that horrifyingly outrageous and offensive statement" "what?"

How do I write the "I'm so innocent" "what?" so as to avoid confusion?

I'm open to suggestions. The more suggestive, the better.

What?


posted by Harvey at 8:01:06 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



THE KICK-ASSEST MAP IN OF THE WORLD

Jeff of BigStick.US is working on a project that sounds pretty cool:

This is my plan: I'd like to create a digital map of the world that shows solely political divisions, yet accessible for any point in history.

Example: I access the 'Space and Time Map' for the date July 1625. What would appear on North America would be a colored representation of the Plymouth colony. On mouseover, this would show some pertinent information about the colony, and the ruler and system of government, plus the periods of its existence in that form.

Example 2: I type in 'Pomerania' and access a close up map of Pomerania at a certain date. I would then be able to manipulate the date using a slide bar, viewing all the changes of Pomerania throughout it's history.

Example 3: The program would be able to make small 'slide shows' of a certain region from one date to another, with smooth transitions in between the border changes, and text of battles or conflicts and annexations would appear on the screen.

Now, for this, of course it would be my job to do the data entry, being as boring as that is for most people, and how fun it would be for me. However, I know absolutely nothing about the programming required to create the presentation, nor how to program something that would accept my data entry, nor the form in which it would be entered.

I envision this as being a project for many people, on a purely voluntary basis, as a free and totally expandable academic resource, that would be fun for me to do, and maybe become something celebrated in the world of cartography.

Let me know if:
- You have any suggestions about the programming, method, or content.
- A project like this is already underway.
- You're a fellow cartography afficianado.
- You're interested in developing the system, or in the data entry.
- You can contribute something, anything, to the project.

I personally have nothing to offer at this point except my own big mouth to spread the word, so I am. If there's anything you can do to help this fine young American who's currently trapped deep behind enemy lines in France, stop over & prod his comments.


posted by Harvey at 7:58:08 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



2 MORE QUESTIONS...

... from Lynn of Reflections in d minor:

If you could have as a pet, any creature from science fiction what would you choose?
I'd get a tribble. Cute, cuddly, constantly purring - they're like cats without the attitude. Also quite useful for finding out if John Kerry is a Klingon spy.

If you could own any device from science fiction what would you choose?
Not so much a particular device as the desire to experiment with zero-gravity intimacy. Imagine the possibilities...


posted by Harvey at 7:54:10 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



FUGITIVE ALERT

Matty O'Blackfive, trying to relax after a rough morning, cranked up the Kinks to make himself feel better.

Unfortunate choice of song, though, since EVERYONE in the Alliance knows that any song with the word "Lola" in it activates Evil Glenn's subliminal implants & causes him to immediately seek canine quarry for blending.



Which explains why this poor animal was recently seen fleeing in terror, followed closely by a drooling man toting a Ronco PortaBlendaMatic 3000.

Please exercise more care in future song selection, Matt.


posted by Harvey at 7:45:29 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE...

...Between hurting your back and having your car's alternator take a crap, stranding you by the side of the road without a cell phone, which would you choose?

Silly little Susie couldn't make up her mind, so she got both.

Send sympathy, cash, and/or home remedies for back pain to:

Silly Susie
c/o OW! OW! OW! MY BACK!
Somewhere, IN 69690h!


posted by Harvey at 7:33:46 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




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