Saturday, February 21, 2004
I found this series of questions at Lynn's place, and, since she hoped they would be done elsewhere, I'm having a go at them.
1. What is your favorite word?
"Poke", although the explanation for it is rather convoluted. A couple
years ago, Beloved Wife and I went to Chicago to visit Carol, one of
her old college buddies. While we were there, we spent an evening
watching a local avant-garde sketch comedy troupe called "The Neo-Futurists". They're sort of like the Kids in the Hall,
except more American and less televised. One of their sketches started
out with two characters, each one holding a stick. One poked the other,
who declared in a voice most offended, "Hey! You poked me with a
stick!" and then retaliated by poking the other person with his stick.
The response, of
course was "Hey! You poked *me* with a stick!" It went on like this for
a couple minutes, with increasingly silly amounts of stick-poking,
offended declarations, and other characters jumping in with sticks of
their own. All very juvenile & pointless.
Afterwards, however, Beloved Wife and I couldn't resist poking each
other and yelling, "Hey! You poked me with a finger!" (or whatever
other handy poking device was used). To this day, it's a frequent
occurance that one of us will poke the other while saying "poke",
setting off a chain reaction of poking and offended declarations.
Absolutely silly, I know, but it is of such sillinesses that the bonds of love are woven.
2. What is your least favorite word?
I'm agreeing with Lynn on this one and saying "blog", and I'll explain
as I did in her comments. A blog is a beautiful thing to read or write,
but it's an ugly sounding word. It's even worse if someone pronounces
it blawg instead of blahg (which Rush Limbaugh does on occasion).
3. What turns you on (inspires you)?
Playing fetch with my dog Bandit (who is female, despite the name's
usual connotation). It's quiet time and I usually manage to do some
good writing during a session (between tosses, that is).
4. What turns you off?
Again, I'm agreeing with Lynn. Idle small talk is the bane of my
existence. If you're going to use words in my presence, please make
them convey information. Oh, and people who smoke in their cars with
the windows rolled up and then come to my teller window. Sadly, these
are often chatty small-talkers, too. I don't care if people smoke, I
did it myself for more years than I like to think about, but please
5. What sound do you love?
Well, it doesn't transcribe accurately into writing, but there's a
certain sort of heavy, gasping, sighing sound that signals success in
the performance of my husbandly duties...
6. What sound do you hate?
The feeble, dry, solenoid click of a dead-battery car. There's never a
good time to hear that sound, and I've heard it at many of them.
7. What is your favorite curse word? (if any)
F***. It's just so harsh, abrupt, and bitter. It reflects perfectly the
way I feel when I'm frustrated. I use it frequently, much to Beloved
Wife's dismay, and despite years of her best efforts at reform.
8.What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Certified Financial Planner. I have a 4-year degree in Finance from an
accredited state institution of higher learning and an aptitude for
things financial. I don't have the specific training requirements
completed that would allow me to take the exam. How to pay for said
training is an issue of discussion in the Olson household, which may or
may not get resolved in the next year or two.
9. What profession would you not like to participate in?
Home construction. It's either too hot, too cold, or too rainy, and you
work in all of it. Even worse would be the stupid, lazy, unreliable,
untrustworthy co-workers. I realize that there are some good
people who work in the industry, too, but I also know that whenever a
woman tells me about her latest ne'er-do-well boyfriend, the phrase
"he's a construction worker" almost invariably pops up.
10. Presupposing that Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Due to an uncorrectable clerical error, you may stay."
posted by Harvey at 1:42:09 PM permalink HOME
OK, NOW I'M GLAD I WORK AT A BANK
Outside of customers who smell waaayyyy
too much like either farm or cigarettes (or both), I don't really have
too much trouble with incredibly dense & irritating customers.
Via Teresa of Technicalities, I found out that Serenity is not so fortunate:
A family comes in to the restaurant for dinner. They begin to order
and everything is going along smoothly. That is until the one member
places their order.
Idiot: "I want the chicken platter."
Me: "Ok, what would you like to drink with that?"
Idiot has discussion with another family member and totally ignores question. I wait. And wait.
Idiot: "No, actually, I want the fish instead."
Me: "Ok, you want the fish and not the chicken right?"
Me: "Ok, so no on the chicken platter and get the fish."
Me: "Ok." (Begins repeating entire order back to table.)
Idiot: "No, I want the chicken."
Oh yes, there's more. But the BEST part is the first comment from George of Bastard Sword, who puts the ultimate waitress fantasy into words.
posted by Harvey at 12:40:40 PM permalink HOME
© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 9/10/2005; 5:12:40 PM.