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Sunday, February 01, 2004 |
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Devil Wins Hajj Battle Again, 244 Trampled to Death
(2004-02-01) -- In the annual contest between stone pillars symbolizing the devil and thousands of devoted stone-throwing Muslims, the devil won again this year as at least 244 pilgrims died of trampling during the Hajj (pilgrimage) to Mecca.
"We were disorganized and Satan came ready to play," said an unnamed Imam speaking for Allah, the official deity of Islam. "We threw everything we had at him and those stone pillars are none the worse for the attack. But hundreds of our people are dead, or on the injured reserve list. Ultimately, you have to blame leadership. Allah and his preachers take personal responsibility for the loss."
The Imam said the loss will not affect his mission "to propagate the deep truths of our religion so that all citizens of earth can benefit from the peaceful, intellectual and spiritual teachings of Islam."
"I know it's a cliché," he added. "But we'll go back to the films and the playbook, make some adjustments and next year we'll be back to rock the Hajj
[ScrappleFace]
9:20:43 PM 
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Yakkity Yak Yak
It seems that Saddam might be talking about all sorts of things.
Saddam Hussein has acknowledged depositing billions of dollars abroad before his ouster and has given interrogators the names of people who know where the money is, a member of the Iraqi Governing Council said in remarks published Monday. The U.S.-appointed council estimates that the Iraqi dictator seized... [Right-Thinking from the Left Coast]
9:15:49 PM
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 Astronomy Picture of the Day
Butterfly Wings
8:46:17 PM
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This is one of those - Who cares if it's true or not posts.
Punishment
A US Air Force C-141 is scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland, at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last flight. So a message is sent to the base, and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it.
The young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the aircraft, only to find that the latrine pump truck has been left outdoors and is frozen solid, so he must find another one in the hangar, which takes even more time. He returns to the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about what he has to do. Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as to not risk criticism later.
As he's leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, "Son, your attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late, and
I'm going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded, but
punished."
Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath,stands
up tall and says, "Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son; I'm an Airman in the United States Air Force. I've been in Thule, Greenland for 11 months without any leave, and reindeer are beginning to look pretty good to me. I have one stripe; it's two-thirty in the morning, the temperature is 40 degrees below zero, and my job here is to pump shit from your aircraft...... Now just exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?"
Thanks Morey
8:42:31 PM
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FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE
1. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
2. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
3. COLT: The original point and click interface.
4. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
5. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
6. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
7. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
8. If you don't know your rights you don't have any.
9. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
10. The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights reserved.
11. What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?
12. The Second Amendment is in place in case they ignore the others.
13. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
14. Guns only have two enemies: rust and liberals.
15. Know guns, know peace and safety. No guns, no peace nor safety.
16. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
17. 911 - government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.
18. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
19. Criminals love gun control -- it makes their jobs safer.
20. If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.
21. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.
22. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
23. Enforce the "gun control laws" we have, don't make more.
24. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
25. The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.
26. "...A government of the people, by the people, for the people..."
Thanks Morey
8:33:35 PM
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Sick!
No - not the breast - hiring MTV to produce your half time show.
8:17:12 PM
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It just keeps coming back
I know it's old but the libs just won't let it die. I guess they figure each time they regurgitate it some new lemming will hear it and run out to spread the gospel. CP
6:34:37 PM
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A Criminal Waste of Space
It is my considered opinion, as a professional gobbledygook wrangler that Measure G requires you to send all your motorboats to Dakar (the capital of Senegal, a country plagued by periodic lowland flooding) and build a hotel for bears (undoubtedly an endangered species in Bolinas). You must also drink a lot of lake water and eat blueberries. This will make the entire board a lot thinner, which will help you accomplish your next task: gathering up all the skunks and foxes in town and putting them on a trans-oceanic flight to someplace beautiful. Then I think you have to vote someone off the island, marry somebody named Joe who says he?s a millionaire but really isn?t, plant the magic beans, climb up the beanstalk, and help the giant repeal the car tax.
Found at Ric Jame's Blog
6:23:05 PM
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© Copyright 2004 Lopsided Poopdeck.
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