licentious radio

Wednesday, August 21, 2002
[11:04:46 PM]

Martha Stewart humor is still quite popular:

Martha Stewart editorial cartoons:

Good Thing: tray fresh-baked cookies.
Not a Good Thing: hand in the cookie jar.

Martha Stewart's jail cell: "Roses and lady's breath turn this seatless toilet into a beautiful display." And the cellmate: "Why me?"

Even Doonesbury: "It was just between intimate friends over the holidays."

Poor Martha Stewart.

[10:54:00 PM]
I fell into the twilight zone this evening. I glanced at a newspaper headline "Limosine Terrorists". Mind-boggling stupidity: supposedly terrorists are less poor than average, so poverty doesn't promote terrorism. I am in awe of how stupid it is to say such a thing.

Children! You can be opposed to terrorism without being stupid.

It's sort of appropriate, though, coming from the Wall Street Journal -- the house organ for the corrupt businessmen who steal billions while their employees suffer. Why should a WSJ editorial writer be able to imagine a human being making a personal sacrifice for people who are relatively worse off?

(Not to suggest that helping others is the primary motivation of terrorists, or that this particular point is the stupidest thing about WSJ's comment.)

[10:37:32 PM]
Imagine Saddam and Stupid in a knife fight. Stupid works out; Saddam nearly died of cancer. Anybody with any sense would pick Saddam in less than a minute -- except maybe he would keep Stupid alive for a while, just to squeal.

That's a pretty sick concept. Americans should be glad we don't have to settle things mano-a-mano. Thank God for cluster bombs.

[10:30:18 PM]
Also noted: the stock market hasn't been collapsing lately. Remember the daily terrorist warnings earlier this year? They scared the people into making Little George's poll ratings high, but they wiped out billions of dollars of market value. The economy was so bad, they had to stop with the terrorist warnings, and focus on hyping Iraq as the solution to Bush's ratings.

Never fear, Poppy's Carlisle Group is busy buying up the ruins of Dimwit's destroy-the-economy-for-ratings strategy. (Qwest, Global Crossing....)

[10:20:53 PM]
Ordered Into Debt [tompaine.com]: "...the card has plunged thousands of ordinary servicemen and servicewomen into debt so deep that the Pentagon is busy garnishing the wages of its own soldiers. And the only military commander known to raise hell about the scheme -- a lone Air Force colonel based in the Midwest -- says that blowing the whistle on the GTC ruined her career."

[10:06:31 PM]
We learned that soldiers were exposed to nuclear radiation in the 50s -- merely as an experiment. Now we learn sailors were exposed to all manner of germ and chemical warfare agents in the 60s -- merely as an experiment.

Thirty years from now, what will we learn about Nazi-like experiments Pentagon leaders are performing on today's soldiers? Will we find out that the drugs given to soldiers in Afghanistan were being tested for increasing violence?

You know, at least Nazis experimented on people they hated. We seem to keep experimenting on people we ask to protect us. Shame! (Either way.)

[10:01:26 PM]
Heh, heh. Subpoena Ashcroft, and if he gives you any lip, throw him in irons, and haul him off to solitary.

[9:58:57 PM]
"Despite weeks of handwringing over the supposed missing body of evidence against the dictator ruling Iraq, the case is self-evident", Mr DuhLay said. "Poppy arranged for gas, anthrax, missiles, and nukes during the 80s. But Saddam turned his back on us -- selling oil to just anybody. Then that traitor, Powell, aborts the war in the second trimester, and it's up to stupid little Junior to finally set things straight."

[9:53:53 PM]
"In a vicious, repressive dictatorship that exercises near-total control over its population, it's very hard to imagine that the Government is not aware of what's taking place in the country," said Ari Fleischer, warning Americans again to be careful what we say.

[7:14:16 PM]
"The American people know my position, and that is that regime change is in the interests of the world." In fact, most of the world agrees that regime change in DC would be a very positive step.

[7:08:32 PM]
Iraq-gate.

[4:21:08 PM]
LaunchDaveWiner.org update: We slightly misunderestimated the cost -- or maybe it was the drop in the value of the dollar. At any rate, we now need $19,999,962.50 more, not $9,999,962.50. Donate via PayPal. Thanks.

[4:13:51 PM]
licentious radio's WorldCom humor round-up.

[10:57:49 AM]
MediaWhoresOnline.com comments on the astounding difference in coverage my media whores on who sleeps in the Lincoln Bedroom under Bush versus Clinton:

"It's all so obvious. Whereas respectable lickspittles might have just dropped the story, these ladies and gentlemen of the night actually turn it around to go the other way, plain as day."

[10:50:25 AM]
"The failure to take on Saddam after what the president said would produce such a collapse of confidence in the president that it would set back the war on terrorism."

Excuse me? "Collapse of confidence" in El Stupido?

Oh, I get it: they mean Dumkopf's approval ratings in the United States.

[10:25:35 AM]
Condi: "Saddam's evil -- he gassed people. He has an anthrax program."

We gave him the anthrax. (How much money did Halliburton make off that?) He gassed people when he was on *our* side.