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Wednesday, February 19, 2003 |
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ShockWave, End User Edition For Immediate Release WASHINGTON, DC In a joint press event this morning, Idea Processing East and Guido & Nails Corporate IT Solutions have announced their new plugin for Netopia Timbuktu and Apple Remote Desktop: ShockWave End User Edition. ShockWave will provide a new level of control for corporate IT managers and their technical support staff in a unique fashion unheard of before in the industry! Using breakthrough technology, ShockWave has increased productivity in the IT field by 150% in clinical trials. ShockWave provides network administrators with an incredibly valuable tool for management of both personnel and equipment. Piggybacking on existing network monitoring utilities like Timbuktu and Remote Desktop, ShockWave allows for instant software installation. It also comes with over 100 contacts for use in chairs, desks, laptop surfaces and doorframes. These contacts serve to funnel existing power from the laptop battery or desktop power supply to the end user in the shape of shocks of electricity. Going from the basic 120 volt shock, the equivalent of a fork in a wall outlet, to over 5000 volts, the equivalent of a cardiac rescue unit, the shocks can be remotely administered via the controlling computer.
"ShockWave provides IT directors and their staffs with new and unique management tools for their users. Right up to the wetware, y'know?" said Guido Parsipriani, CTO of Guido & Nails Corporate IT and creator of the software. His partner Nails didn't have much to say, but his grin communicated volumes. "Our clients are reporting productivity increases of up 150% in their IT staff's productivity since installing ShockWave. Call Volumes are down 73% on average." reports Parsipriani. Available now as a site license for $35,000 and in lots of 50 or 100 users for less, you can purchase them through your local IT vendor. "Yo, and make sure you look for Nails on the box. We had to get him to pose special with that crowbar. Usually, he swings it too fast for the human eye t'see." Nails could only nod thoughtfully in response to the statement. Due out next week is the new "Wipe It" pack from Guido & Nails Corporate IT, for cleanup after a user is "finished" with their machine. Included are special solvents designed to remove scorch marks and bone fragments from laptops and desktops. "Wipe It" kits will sell for $50 and will ship in early March.
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Wednesday, nÈe Monday Today is definitely a Monday in disguise. From the godawful traffic, to the problems in the office this morning, we're in full on Monday mode here. However, to offset my current frustrations, I now have the new IMDB search widget and the Agenda widget.
I've pondered making one for my blog for the hell of it. |
Last update: 6/28/03; 9:41:37 PM .
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