Ramblings of a Technology Addict

Thursday, February 20, 2003

Guido And Nails: Corporate IT Solutions

With the announcement of ShockWave, End User Edition yesterday, there came the undoubted responses yesterday regarding the nature of their product. The Register's BOFH touted ShockWave as a "triumph for modern systems administrators," while Greg from Columbia Internet called ShockWave "the best thing that happened to systems administration since root accounts." We, at Guido & Nails Corporate IT Solutions, are remiss to correct our fans.
Our critics, however, have been neutralized.
We received this testimonial this morning from a local systems administrator in the Washington, DC area:
I used to have all sorts of problems with my users screwing things up on their machines and calling me to beg for help. 'I can't get my email' or 'my internet doesn't work' or 'I am a namby-pamby moron who can't use their computer at all, please hold me'. But now, with ShockWave, I get so many fewer calls! I mean, after they found out what happened to the first guy, my phone has gone from ringing off the hook, to silent like a dormouse. Which is how it should be. When they heard we had to pick the guy's pieces out of the ceiling, everyone just got real quiet all of a sudden."
The quality services that Guido and Nails Corporate IT Solutions provide is not just limited to the new ShockWave utilities, no, far from it. Guido and Nails Corporate IT Solutions has services like the Disapparu™ for the user who just doesn't belong, the Training Day® program which uses a melange of elements including reinforcing shock therapy to demonstrate proper technique to end users. There is also the aptly named Head-on-a-Pike service.
Guido and Nails Corporate IT Solutions has also partnered with NinjaTek in order to provide Nocturnal Liquidation Services for those users too far away to be personally handled. Our specially trained agents will return your company's equipment in working shape, having been "cleaned" of all traces of any end user.
Providing the finest in service since 1999, our references are available upon request.
5:42:04 PM  comment []

A 404 you all need to see.

Simply Beautiful.
Oh yes, and Meet Bert.
Forget not the poetic

1:11:04 PM  comment []

The Lent of Baseball

We are now inside the quaresma, ladies and gentlemen. 39 days until opening day. The rite of spring is beginning now in Arizona and Florida. Countdowns are occuring in the mind of both journalist and fan. Eying their gloves, their jerseys, their tokens of the game. The close their eyes, inhale deeply and remember the smell of the grass when last they were at the park. They can smell the warm, earthy tang of the grass, the smell of hotdogs wafting in from the concession stands. The ballpark appears, piece by piece, in their mind's eye.
Today, it is Camden Yards in Baltimore. When I close my eyes, I can see the view from my seats in Left Field. I shouldn't say my seats anymore, as I didn't buy them this year, but they will always be mine in my head. I can see the grass, a verdant field of short spiky blades come into being. I can see the cinder infield and the swell of the pitcher's mound, as comforting as the sight of a breast. I can see the cage over homeplate, the fences at first and third, the pitcher's hideaway. Then the orange seats remind me what baseball is about: the fans. The warehouses tower over center and right field. The Bromo-Seltzer tower in left, it's blue halo shining bright over the city. I can smell the hotdogs and the nachos. I can hear the harsh Baltimore accent from the beer vendors and the woman who pours the cheese into my plastic tray of nachos.
It's musical, almost, now in my brain. That symphony of the thwack of the ball on the glove. The crack of the bat on the ball. The shouts of the fans, the rustling of the ivy on the wall in Center Field. The dull white noise roar of the crowd in the distance, the sound of thousands in the same place. I can feel the sun on my cheeks as it shines through the gap between the second deck and field level. I can taste the chocolate malt.
It is coming. We are not far from it. There is that hope that Baseball provides us. That daily drama of the nine inning game. So much can happen in baseball, that is the beauty of it. The double steal. The suicide squeeze. The hit and run. The called third strike. The hanging curve hit so far, you'd swear it was leaving the county. The smell of the grass, and hotdogs and beer.
Soon.
39 Days.
12:22:30 PM  comment []

Linky.

Proof that there is no real cure for stupidity, I erased this entire blog entry once already. Anyhow, feeling like crap today, so no real writing for now, just some links.
...Apparently AT&T will start carrying the Tungsten W by the end of the month. Which would be cool if it was even remotely affordable. At $550 unit cost and a $40/mo data plan from AT&T, I just can't see these catching on.
...Panic Software's Steven Frank has built an Applescript based on Audion and Transmit to create a Now Playing page on your website. Well done!
...A bad review of the new 12" PowerBook.
...Dan Hon spends some time lampooning the new Ready.gov site from DHS. It's a stitch:
Frame one appeals to any sort of dark sense of humour. It's guaranteed to put a damper on your day, especially when you get home from work: "So, I was driving along and then HOLY FUCK THE ROAD EXPLODED." If you're still managing to keep a straight face, I dare you to glance at frame two without seeing any hint at all of suggestiveness.

...This article is an interesting little development. Does this mean we should also get rid of the FFA for fear they might teach how to grow pot? Or perhaps the Radio club because they might say something seditious?
...Neal Pollack tells us all to shut up. Dear God man, if you don't want to read about what people honestly think, then stop reading blogs.
...Wired News figures out moblogging.
...Grad Student tells Jack Valenti he's a lying sack of shit. Well, not quite like that, but pretty much. Kick ASS.
9:56:47 AM  comment []