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  Monday, September 27, 2004


Here's a list of computer viruses that Symantec and McAfee have not yet nailed:

  • The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
  • The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.
  • The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
  • The John Kerry virus - causes the floppy to flip flop on it's stored memory.
  • The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
  • The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
  • The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
  • The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.
  • The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB.
  • The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.
  • The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
  • The Joey Buttafuoco Virus - Only attacks minor files.
  • The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy... then discards it through Windows.

7:49:14 PM    comment []


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