licentious radio

Saturday, August 9, 2003
[9:24:39 PM]

licentious radio is proud to sponsor a Constitutional Amendment to ban desecrating the flag by autographing it. Unelected "Presidents" would pay a steep price for autographing people's flags. Our proposed punishment is beheading, though one of our "Islamaic" friends suggests cutting off the hand, instead. One Southern buddy said "Dude! That would be, like, unconstitutional." To which *we* reply: "duh". We're talking *amending* the Constitution, here. If we change the Constitution so cutting of Bush's hand is part of the Constitution, then it ain't Unconstitutional.

[9:18:46 PM]

Yesterday The Dimwit repeated (repeatedly) that Iraq is part of the war on terror, and that now we are fighting against terrorists.

Today: "The American-led administration in Iraq has received intelligence reports that hundreds of Islamic militants who fled Iraq during the war have returned and are planning to conduct major terrorist attacks."

Is this more intelligence book-cooking? Is it -- finally -- an acknowledgement that so-called Baathists aren't the entire problem?

[8:23:58 PM]
"By late afternoon, many of the British forces appeared to have withdrawn leaving large parts of the city of two million in the hands of rioters."

Iraqis may soon realize that British and even US soldiers won't massacre them by the thousands. There comes a point in crowd dynamics when police/military force is counterproductive.

Arab resistance fighters should put down their weapons and bring the masses into the streets. Even Americans and Israelis can't kill fast enough to stay in power against un-armed, united populations.

[7:37:57 PM]
Those supposed WMD trailers....

I'm sorry I didn't mention this earlier. It would have saved so much trouble, but I just don't follow the news.

You see, when I was in high school, I did a summer student exchange program for Iraq, and my host parents were Mr. and Mrs. Hussein. I always called him "Poppy", though my exchange brothers always referred to him as Saddam.

Anyway, you have to understand that Poppy insisted on having his way. On hot summer days, especially during a sandstorm, Poppy liked bubbly water. He liked it *very* bubbly. He looked down on Perrier and San Pelligrino as being for weak, infidel Westerners. He liked lots of bubbles.

And he liked *fresh* bubbles, and he wanted bubbles all the time.

When we'd go out to the lake palace north of Tikrit, things were more primitive than in Baghdad. After several water boys lost their jobs (and probably heads) for serving flat water, Qusay bought a mondo water carbonation system -- three of them actually. They were designed to provide hydrogen, but were modified by Russian engineers to make CO2 and add it to water at the strength Poppy demanded.

So you see, if I had just been paying more attention to the news, I could have told them those trailers were for making carbonated water for Poppy. I mean, why would he want to drink anthrax?

[11:31:18 AM]
Ha ha.

licentious radio is the first site in Google search results for "licentious". We're proud, mighty proud.

We'd like to thank all the *little* people who made this possible. We never expected this honor. We only try to do our best. If we can cause one smile, we feel like we've accomplished something. We'll use any notoriety from this honor to promote world peace and save the animals.

[11:08:11 AM]
Citigroup and JP Morgan Chase helped prop up Enron. Their illegal schemes wound up costing pension funds $25 to $50 billion. The whitewash/coverup operation settled on $300 million in fines. They're good Republican campaign contributors.

Actually, the White House probably put them up to it. Cheney, for example, was pulling out the stops to keep Enron afloat, as was Rice.

It's no wonder Bush will collect record campaign contributions. Everyone who gives generously gets a "get out of jail free" card, while those who don't give, get the book thrown at them. It's pretty clear that if you want to do business in America, you had better donate bigtime to Republicans.

[10:56:17 AM]
Hee hee. The news today is that military engineers have looked at the supposed "WMD trailers". They say they would be appropriate for generating hydrogen for weather balloons, but not for WMD production. Duh.

The team in Iraq that ruled out any possible use other than for WMD based their conclusions on intelligence reports (ROFL -- can you say "cooked" like a Martha Stewart souffle?), not on knowledge of how someone would stand in the trailer and use it to make something.

The truly hilarious thing is that every article like this has to include a solemn quote from somebody at the White House saying "we never pressured nobody to tell us the trailers were for WMD."

[10:49:54 AM]
If you were afraid it might leak out that Flight 93 was shot down, you might want to reverse the story about the passenger efforts to take control -- you would want us all to believe that the hijacker had plenty of time to crash the plane. You would want us to believe that the passengers couldn't have succeeded, even if the plane hadn't been blown out of the sky by a missile.

Do we know that the plane was shot down? No. We know Cheney ordered it to be shot down. We know the official story is full of holes -- there was an unmarked jet following Flight 93 at low altitude, and the debris pattern would be easy to explain if the plane had been struck by a missile.

Can we imagine that the government would choose not to publicize that they had shot the plane down? Bush/Cheney keeping something secret? Yes, somehow that isn't hard to believe, in principle.

We'd like a full review of all the evidence by people we can trust. That was the idea of the September 11 commission, but of course the Republicans have turned it mostly into a cover-up.

We think the Democratic nominee for president should promise a thorough investigation of all aspects of the September 11 attacks, as well as all aspects of the Bush failures that let the attacks succeed.

[10:35:45 AM]
The FBI might start an investigation into which White House official blew the cover of CIA agent Valerie Plame.

We applaud the FBI for considering whether to start an investigation.

We would applaud the FBI if they *started* an investigation.

We're rolling on the floor laughing and clapping and hooting. The FBI is better than that fourth Marx brother (Zeppo).

The FBI couldn't be bothered to investigate political assassination -- the anthrax killer. Heck, they started that investigation by destroying the evidence.

Why would anyone do anything but howl with laughter when the FBI talks about investigating political revenge by Bush cronies? If Bush wanted to know, he wouldn't ask the FBI.

We say it's a Karl Rove conspiracy. Two sources. Same info. Same time. Goal was to intimidate political opposition by government insiders. Who would do something like that? Why would you look anywhere but Karl Rove?

Motive, means, opportunity.

This will be covered up like Bush's stock fraud at Harken. Unless Bush gives up the perpetrators immediately, it should take him down. Cheney for President!

Then again, Cheney's meaner and uglier than Rove. Maybe it's Cheney's conspiracy.

[10:21:24 AM]
Lieutenant Colonel Steve Russell of the 22nd Infantry Regiment....

Is he just the spokesman, or did he order the assassinations?

"We did not give them the chance to engage," says Russell.

US snipers in hiding waited for a guy to open the trunk of his car, then shot him dead. Then shot another guy dead. Then wounded a few bystanders for good measure.

"I think we sent out a strong message today that you cannot walk around the streets with weapons," says Russell.

There's a perspective issue here. On a battlefield, you kill enemy without warning. When you're a cop, you don't. As far as I know, when you remove a government and take control of a country, you become the cop. There are quite specific laws of behavior for occupying powers. Assassination is not on the list of permitted behaviors.

Now, who cares about laws? It matters more the effect on the streets. If the relatives of the two dead men come back in three weeks and kill a couple of American soldiers, we might wish Russell had captured those men, rather than order their assassination. Russell himself might regret it if the relatives shoot him.

We'd like to think that Lt. Colonel Russell just hadn't gotten the word about not gunning Iraqis down like you would swat flies.

On the other hand, maybe Russell is an astute observer. Maybe he can tell that Sanchez won't last, and the way to advance in the Rumsfeld/Bush military is to kill. You didn't see Bush say anything positive about General Sanchez -- who had just publicly admitted the US Army will be in Iraq for years. So maybe Sanchez is on the fast-track to exit Iraq, and Russell is on the fast-track for promotion.