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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

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	Tuesday, August 12, 2003

200 WORDS OR LESS: OUT WITH FRIENDS Today's question is from Karin's ESL PartyLand: Teaching Conversation: ---------------- When did you last go out with friends? What did you do? ---------------- I was REALLY drunk at the time, but I’m pretty sure this happened last week. My old Navy buddy, Carnivore Bill, and I crashed an Earth First! meeting…   [knock knock]   Earth First Freak: What’s the password?   Harv: uh… Terra Firma Uber Alles?   EFF: Welcome, Earth Brother, come in and… Great Gurgling Gaia! You’re both naked!   Bill: Of course. Clothing rapes natural resources and oppresses our planet.   EFF: Um… yes… uh… certainly… er… mustn’t oppress… uh… Yeesh! Maybe just a tiny loincloth?   Harv: Hey! It’s not actually tiny, it’s just cold outside, and…   Bill: Let it go, man. So, … AAAHHH! TABLE!   EFF: Table?   Harv: They’ve exploited wood! YOU BASTARDS!   EFF: Wood? But…   Bill: HOLY SPOTTED OWLS! Harv! Look! That wall!   EFF: Wall? wha…?   Harv: CONCRETE! You’re oppressing tiny rock particles! YOU EVIL, SELFISH BASTARDS! Rocks are part of the Earth and have the same rights as plants and animals! Bill, hand me the C4.   Bill: Here ya go.   Harv: Any enviro-freaks who don’t want to become one with the Earth in a red-spray way had best start running like Frenchmen.   [sound of mass mineral liberation]   EPILOGUE:   Harv: Bill, you were naked. Where’d that C4 come from?   Bill: Harv… don’t ask.   posted by Harvey at 7:33:07 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME

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