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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

"Tact is a stranger to you. I like that." - Chris Muir - Day By Day

"The man is a FREAK and a WEIRDO!" - Vigilance Matters

"The nicest thing about having Harvey around is that he makes the raincoat flashers look suave." - Rocket Jones

"...a very, very sick person." - She Who Will Be Obeyed

"pervert of renown extraordinare" - Practical Penumbra

"He's a really nice guy even if he is a little bit weird and creepy sometimes." - Reflections in d minor

"Curmudgeonly Old Coot" - BigStick.US

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  Wednesday, August 13, 2003


200 WORDS OR LESS:

THE BRIEFCASE

 

Today's question comes from the book, "The Conversation Piece":

 

---------------

#5: While walking down a street in your neighborhood, you find a black briefcase clearly marked "Highly confidential information enclosed - do not open under any circumstances." What do you do?

---------------

 

[pop! flip-flip-flip]

 

Harv: Dear God! It's the monkeys' secret plans for conquering the world! I've got to get these to Frank J. immediately!

 

[snap! latch!]

 

Dashing down the sidewalk, I run into an old friend...

 

[SMACK!]

 

Harv: Hey! Lucky! I need a favor.

 

Leprechaun: I'm not a leprechaun, I'm a ll... ah crap! It's you. What the hell do you want?

 

Harv: Don't get snippy with me, you stumpy, mythological Irish freak! You owe me for not killing you last time.

 

Leprechaun: Bite me. I'm due on the set of a Lucky Charms commercial.

 

Harv: Well,... what about for the "milking incident"?

 

Leprechaun: ...So, what can I do for ya?

 

Harv: Teleport me to Frank.

 

Leprechaun: Dumbass. Why don't you just have me kill the monkeys for you?

 

Harv: How did you know about...

 

Leprechaun: Hello? Leprechaun? Supernatural powers?

 

Harv: Right. Do it.

 

Monkeys world-wide spontaneously combust.

 

...but somewhere in a dark cave... a voice...

 

"Fine. You get round 2. Now where's that hammer? It's hobo-whackin' time!"

 


posted by Harvey at 8:44:01 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Godwin's Law! George wins!

 


posted by Harvey at 6:26:27 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



STEP RIGHT UP & TRY YOUR LUCK

The Carnival (#47) is in town over at Right We Are. It's all there: the good, the bad, and the Blogspot. I'm still working my way through, so expect a goldfish-in-a-bag or two tomorrow. Meanwhile, you might want to head over there yourself. Go for the blogging, stay for the gratuitous cheescake (don't miss the main page header art).

 

 


posted by Harvey at 6:19:55 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




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