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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

"Tact is a stranger to you. I like that." - Chris Muir - Day By Day

"The man is a FREAK and a WEIRDO!" - Vigilance Matters

"The nicest thing about having Harvey around is that he makes the raincoat flashers look suave." - Rocket Jones

"...a very, very sick person." - She Who Will Be Obeyed

"pervert of renown extraordinare" - Practical Penumbra

"He's a really nice guy even if he is a little bit weird and creepy sometimes." - Reflections in d minor

"Curmudgeonly Old Coot" - BigStick.US

"Mr. Bad Example" - Straight White Guy

"Shpxurnq!!1!" - The Bartender of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon

"infamous den of rum, buggery, the lash, and pirate pickup lines" - ErosBlog




















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  Thursday, August 14, 2003


HITTING PAUSE

My beloved wife and I are off to visit my nephew (yes, he of Mountain Dew fame) for an extended weekend. I should have something up in time for Tuesday's workday-blogsurfing-rush, depending on how late we get back on Monday.

As a consolation prize, I'll leave you with 3 links from the "vault of nifty" that is my favorites folder, one for each day I'm gone:

Saturday - Stick Figure Kung - Fu: this sounds like it would be lame, but it's actually a brilliantly rendered bit of animation which is as well-choreographed as any Jackie Chan final-fight-sequence. Requires Flash, and may contain a banner ad that is not safe for work.

Sunday - Being An Evil Overlord: In every fantasy or sci-fi movie, the evil overlord makes stupid mistakes that allow the annoying good-guy hero to win... again. Here is a compendium of valuable lessons learned, so that your own foul reign of terror need never end. Safe for work.

Monday - Cloak & Dagger: A gentlemen who makes intriguing custom knives, daggers, swords, and chain mail, and has been doing so for nearly 20 years. Lists Tom Clancy, Larry Niven, and J. Michael Straczynski ("Babylon 5") among his many clients. A very few "chicks in chainmail" pix. Safe for work. And you gotta love that URL...

 

Hmmm... do I detect a theme here? The hitting, the conquering, the stabbing...

The sweet smell of war...

 


posted by Harvey at 10:48:13 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




200 WORDS OR LESS:

MEANINGFUL ACTIVITY

 

Today's topic comes from the Yale undergraduate admission application:

 

------------

Describe an interest or activity that has been particularly meaningful to you.

--------

 

 

By day, I'm a mild-mannered bank teller. But when darkness falls, I transform into FRENCH-MAN! The world's most cowardly and annoying superhero. Why, just last night...

 

 

French-Man: Hark! I hear a mugging. This looks like a job for... FRENCH-MAN!

 

 

[arriving way outside the nick of time]

 

 French-Man: Hey there, evil criminal. What are you doing to that innocent victim?

 

Criminal: Beating the crap out of him with this tire iron so I can steal me some crack money. [WHACK!]

 

Victim: Ow! God! My skull!

 

French-Man: No need for violence. I'm sure there's a diplomatic...

 

[WHACK!]

 

Victim: Oof! My kidneys!

 

French-Man: Please, Innocent Victim, don't interrupt my beautiful voice. That's cowboyish and rude! Now, if we examine the root causes of this mugger's rage...

 

[WHACK!]

 

Victim: AAAAAAAH! My groin!

 

Criminal: I need money for crack NOW! CRAAAAAAACK!

 

French-Man: See? Now if you'll just appease him instead of persisting in your unilateral struggles...

 

Criminal: Can it, Froggy! He's dead and I've got the money... Saaaaaay... what's in YOUR wallet?

 

French-Man: Uh... I can see my work here is done. I have an important surrendering ceremony to attend across town... YIKES! MOMMY!...

 

 

Another day, another diplomatic victory, courtesy of... FRENCH-MAN!

 


posted by Harvey at 9:51:10 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Coincidentally, 5-9-99 was also "Ladies Night" down at the Sugar Shack, where this bill ended up in Bang-Bang Bart's G-string.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:42:24 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



NAZI FASHION: NOT HIP AND COOL

Apparently, some folks in Hong Kong have been marketing Nazi-themed clothing and fashion accessories.

This is bad. Possibly in several ways.

American Digest gets his Lileks on and does some crispy phrase-popping to describe what these ways might be:

------------

Yes, as long as they could garner sales and attention, nothing else really trumped their 'creative expression.' One would like to think that much of this sort of thing just "happens" due to various failures of this or that educational system, but the truth is darker. It happens because, for some reason, there is a set of human beings living on the planet with no affiliation to a nation, or a shared history, or any set of values one would recognize as 'decent.' They live in the ever-transmogrifying present -- a whirl of clubs and clothes and the latest infinitely small gadgets. They are the eternal children who see no difference in last year's 'Hello Kitty" backpack and this year's T-Shirt celebrating Hitler.

-------------

But he doesn't stop there, so treat yourself to the whole thing.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:23:59 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



CALLING DR. FRINK

Ok, I'm a science geek. I love funky toys & gadgets.

American Digest gives links to "Popular Science's 2nd Annual Brilliant 10," where you can find out what the cutting-edge science crazies are up to.

Cool Factor = 11

 


posted by Harvey at 9:16:48 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



MOVING ON WITHOUT LETTING GO

September 11th will soon be here, and there's a particular line of discussion that I find most irksome. It's that lament about how, right after the attack, we all pulled together into one harmonious family, but now we are once again sundered by our petty differences.

Usually when I read or hear this, I just roll my eyes, mumble "what a bunch of touchy-feely crap", and turn my attention elsewhere, never giving it much thought.

But at Reflections in d minor, I have discovered, yet again, Lynn's amazing talent for exploring the more subtle nuances of a complicated emotion. Heck, I didn't even know my derision was hiding a complicated emotion until I read her piece. She makes point after point and links them all into a practical, sensible, yet thoughtful chain, searching for the balancing point between clinging to the past and stepping into the future.

An excerpt wouldn't do justice to the whole. It's short, so give it a click.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:10:18 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



SON, LET ME GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE...

Man, I can't wait until Blackfive gets a new non-Blogspotted home. Here's the useless permalink, and you'll probably need to scroll down to "Going Home Part 2" posted on 8/13.

Apparently Matt was just a little twerp who needed beating up as a child, and the local Nelson Muntz, Jimbo, & Carney were preparing to oblige. So, he asked his dad for advice:

-------------

Dad calmly responded: “Well, when Johnny has you cornered and is taunting you about your mother, punch him as hard as you can.”

What the hell???!!!

Little (smart-ass) Blackfive: “Hey, thanks, Pops, that is going to get the crap beat out of me!”

Dad: “No matter what you do, these idiots are going to try to beat you up. When they are calling you names or talking badly about your mom, they expect you to have the courtesy to sit there and listen to them. They won’t be expecting you to hit them. At least you can make them think twice about doing it again.”

Little Blackfive: “But, Dad, I can’t just hit them?!”

Dad: “Sure you can. I’ll show you how.”

My dad then taught me how to throw a punch. Did I mention that he once was the Heavyweight Boxing Champ of the America East Conference (Boston U)?

Oh yeah, did I mention that my dad is also an Episcopal Priest?
--------------

But it's more than a "days of my childhood" post. He relates this experience to the wider philosophical issues of passive resistance, pre-emption, and when each is appropriate.

Most intriguing, and highly recommended.

Oh, and Matt...

HURRY UP WITH THAT MOVE!

 


posted by Harvey at 8:50:35 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



JUST SIT RIGHT BACK AND YOU'LL HEAR A TALE

I hate predictable writing. When I can tell from the first sentence exactly where a story is going, I usually start fumbling for my mouse and poking at the back button.

Found an exception. Via CotV #47, Joe at Attaboy tackles the predictable story of how people want to turn the Family & Medical Leave Act's unpaid leave into paid leave, tacks on the expected rant on personal responsibility, and weaves it all together with such style, wit, and grace that I wish he would've made it longer.

And I really liked that personal responsibility rant.

Go read.

 


posted by Harvey at 8:26:33 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



GEEK 1, SPAM 130.20

I got to Ipse Dixit via CotV #47, but that's not the post in question. I was scrolling around and found the one that points to a discussion of how some geeks are proud of finding the highest-scoring spam e-mail. Apparently, SpamAssassin, a spam blocking program, rates e-mail on how many spammy characteristics it has, and lets you block it based on that score. Most people set theirs for 5, and it'll do pretty well at sorting spam from steak at that setting. But imagine the pride you'd feel receiving a spam with an "an idiot composed this message" score of over 100!

My inner geek says I really need to get SpamAssassin.

 


posted by Harvey at 8:07:59 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



ARNIE FOR GOVERNOR: ALL THE MOVIES

Arnie's a movie star. Arnie is running for governor. Most pundits make a single lame reference to him "Terminating Governor Davis" and let it go at that.

However, via CotV #47, Ravenwood takes every last one of Arnie's movies and weaves them into a passably-uncontrived-sounding news story.  It's fascinating, in a "watch the human pretzel actually tickle his own left ear with his own right foot" sort of way. Well worth the short time it takes to read, just for the bragging rights of being able to say that you've actually seen it done.

 


posted by Harvey at 7:58:50 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



NUKE = GOOD

I've heard the short version of the debates about whether we should've nuked Japan to end WWII. We killed hundreds of thousands, but we saved millions.

Via CotV #47, Silent Running fleshes out the details with the whole story of America's planned invasion, as well as the I've-never-heard-this-part-before of Japan's resistance plans. It's very specific, and it make me truly appreciate the wisdom of Truman's decision. See for yourself.

 


posted by Harvey at 7:50:36 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



MEXICAN HOLIDAY

Most bloggers post a travel entry at some point. Most are also exceptionally dull. They read like a third grader's "What I Did On My Summer Vacation" essay with all kinds of "I went here and then I did this" yawn-induction.

Not this one. Wild dogs, hookers, bad water... it's got everything. Via CotV #47, Pete, over at The World According to Pete, regales us with his Mexican Odyssey.

--------------

A few days before he left [for Mexico], The Artist Known As Jake Martinez invited me to tag along at, as it turns out, the urging of his mom.

“Uh-oh,” I thought, “I think I’m about the be hoodwinked,” figuring they had found a bride for Jake but that she had a sister, and this was some sort of “2-for-1” deal – if one sister got married, the other had to get married too.

I was about to become marital collateral damage.

--------------

They never do find a wife for either one of them, but who cares? Just go along & enjoy the ride.

 


posted by Harvey at 7:45:01 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



GOIN' THIS WAY

J, whose blogdentity crisis I posted about a few weeks ago, seems to have found his compass and has headed off in a direction that suits him. He's sportin' a new site, a new name (Quibbles 'n Bits) and more original content, as opposed to the Instapundit-lite link-festiveness that was driving him nuts.

Today he's got an interesting analysis of George W.'s political strategy. I've heard it claimed before that it's a "rope-a-dope" on the Democrats, where he just lets them keep swingin' until they tire themselves out, then moves in for the kill. J gives evidence that it's much more nuanced than that, drawing an insightful military analogy:

-------------

With a firesack, the scouts engage just enough to start to draw the enemy out, then rapidly and obviously retreat, drawing the scouts back to a small element of heavier forces that resembles the main body. Done well, the enemy breaks from his position and engages the heavy elements. The elements engaged break off and retreat, which usually causes the enemy to pursue.

And that's when the trap is sprung. As the enemy pursues the retreating element, the rest of the force pounces, closing from either side in a semicircular entrapment. The enemy suddenly discovers it's no longer in pursuit, but outflanked, in a vice, with the screw turning and the jaws closing.

-------------

Go check the post to see how this applies to Bush.

Oh yes, and for those who indulge, he has a few cigar reviews. Turns out that my brother Tom isn't the only person who was impressed by JR Alternatives.

 

 


posted by Harvey at 7:20:52 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



WAR!

I don't know what this means for the future of the blogosphere, but Frank J. has, in an effort to keep his job as Imperial Secretary of War, declared war on Instapundit. Now he's asking everybody to choose sides.

Let's see, gut-cramping belly-laughs, or "Indeed".

Oh. That's a tough one. Let me sit down and think that over for a couple days :-P

As First Loser, I've already pledged my sword to his Frankness.

Death to the puppy blender!

Besides, Frank's offering a share of the plunder. I just hope said plunder doesn't include cursed Aztec gold.

 

 


posted by Harvey at 6:53:44 AM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



HELP IS ON THE WAY

Susie was kind enough to help me search for *anyone* who remembers "Hare Tonic"/Rabbititis. She's such a sweetie.

By the way, if you, or someone you know, or even a complete stranger on a bus, actually remembers seeing the aforementioned cartoon, please let me know. I've just got that Omega Man feeling right now and could use some reasssurance.

Oh Dear GOD! Please tell me you remember "Omega Man"! Charleton Heston? Grumpy mutants?

I am so alone.

 


posted by Harvey at 6:43:13 AM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



MUSICS OF THE SPHERE

Matt over at Blackfive has an excellently crafted concept post. [Titled: Music for the Best Blogs, posted 8/13, if his permalinks are Blogspotted] He lists his favorite bloggers and picks songs that match the site's personality, or are otherwise appropriate.

Unlike most lists you see out there, this one comes with complete explanations and lots of relavent links. He busted his ass to get this one together, and I hope this serves as a lesson to all those "I'm bored so I'll just throw up a list" bloggers that the list format can serve as a work of art.

I especially like his choice of "Not an Addict" for describing that cold, hollow empty feeling you get after you read a Bill Whittle post and start to realize that now you're gonna hafta wait like 2 months for the next one.

If you don't have your own blog, go read this cuz it's cool. If you have a blog, read this for educational purposes. If you're a Democrat, read this because he also makes fun of you:

------------------

Music if I had a lobotomy and spent time at these sites:
1. The Democratic Underground Jackasses = Caviar's "Tangerine Speedo" or Electronic's "Idiot Country"
- Reason: Songs about idiots. Hand me an f'ing towel, it's getting deep.

------------------

Mheh.

 


posted by Harvey at 6:30:37 AM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




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