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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

"Tact is a stranger to you. I like that." - Chris Muir - Day By Day

"The man is a FREAK and a WEIRDO!" - Vigilance Matters

"The nicest thing about having Harvey around is that he makes the raincoat flashers look suave." - Rocket Jones

"...a very, very sick person." - She Who Will Be Obeyed

"pervert of renown extraordinare" - Practical Penumbra

"He's a really nice guy even if he is a little bit weird and creepy sometimes." - Reflections in d minor

"Curmudgeonly Old Coot" - BigStick.US

"Mr. Bad Example" - Straight White Guy

"Shpxurnq!!1!" - The Bartender of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon

"infamous den of rum, buggery, the lash, and pirate pickup lines" - ErosBlog




















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  Monday, August 25, 2003


WHY JOIN THE ALLIANCE?

Simple, really. It's all about quality of life.

In the Alliance, we're all about joy, and laughter, and a happy world filled with sexy Fox News reporterettes.

Evil Glenn is all about hobo-murder, Satan-worshiping, puppy blending, and penguin porn.

 

Let me put it this way:

This is your blog in the Alliance:

 

This is your blog in Instahell:

Any questions?

 


posted by Harvey at 11:52:19 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




ALLIANCE STILL ACCEPTING CHARTER MEMBERS

Uncle Frank wants YOU! Come, join the Alliance, help defeat Evil White Glenn, and be assured of millions of readers and/or bags of money! Charter memberships still available until this Saturday. See Alliance HQ for details.

 


posted by Harvey at 11:26:27 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



200 WORDS OR LESS:

A NEW FAD

 

Today's question comes from the book, "The Conversation Piece":

 

---------------

#100: If you could start another fad along the lines of the Pet Rock craze of the 1970s, what inanimate object would you choose as the new "pet"?

---------------

 

I tried starting a fad a while back, but during the preliminary focus group meeting…

 

Harv: Thanks for coming, kids. Now, you remember how much fun pet rocks were, right?

 

MacKenzie: What's a pet rock?

 

Harv: Never mind. Anyway, here’s my new creation: Shooty, the Pet Glock.

 

Maekenzee: My mommy says guns are evil.

 

Harv: Your mommy is a lying hag of a hippy. Now, this...

 

Makenzie: Is that the kill'n end?

 

Harv: No, you little hydrocephaloid, that's the beat'n end. Read the freakin' manual. Anyway, it's like a Tamagotchi. You just keep it fed with happy yum-yum bullets and...

 

Makynzi: But what does it do?

 

Harv: Most of the time it just sits & looks pretty, but it comes in handy for pest control. See that cockroach over there?

 

Shooty: Blam!

 

Cockroach: Splatter!

 

Harv: Works great on hippies, too.

 

Chorus: Waaaaahh! All our mommies are hippies!

 

Harv: Then die, you evil hellspawn! Here's a little chlorine for the gene pool!

 

Shooty: Blam! Blam! Blam!

 

Harv: Damn, they all got away. Well, Mrs. Brady, that's why you need more than 10 rounds in your magazine. Stress can really frink up your aim. *SIGH*...  Back to the drawing board.

 


posted by Harvey at 10:35:43 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



MMM... LEMONS

I keep forgetting to add this to my blogroll, and I keep being reminded at other sites that I need to get it done. So I FINALLY have a permalink to The Lemon on my blogroll now, and I feel better.

The latest issue has an explanation of the California recall election situation. Drink Alert in effect.

 

 


posted by Harvey at 9:47:09 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



POP QUIZ

I've read the Constitution. I also studied it during my brief, painful tour in law school. But I was still surprised by the answers on this short quiz regarding what the Constitution does and doesn't guarantee. Sharp Knife really puts the Patriot Act into perspective.

Quit laughing. Let's see how you do.

[hat tip to the Emperor for pointing this one out]

 


posted by Harvey at 9:36:19 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



GOOD DESIGN

I really look forward to my trips to Reflections in d minor. Lynn is to aesthetics as Stephen Den Beste is to engineering: rational, intelligent, and informative. You come away smarter for having visited.

Fortunately, she's also stronger in the brevity department ;-)

Today, thanks to her post describing Mandarin Design's delightful web site, which is chock full of hints & tips on web design, I've seen something I NEVER would have believed actually existed: a non-annoying use of the color yellow on a web page

Incredible.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:29:41 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



SWEET NOTHINGS

Boots and Sabers whispers those 3 little words that every man longs to hear:

Full Auto Glock.

Go and catch the link to the 1.1 meg avi file.

Suh-wheet.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:12:38 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



WELL, AT LEAST THEY'RE FAIR AND BALANCED

The only difference between UC Berkeley and UW Madison is a few degrees of lattitude & longitude. On any given day, it's a toss up as to which one is leaning farther left. Sure, Berkeley has the Bay Area screwball esthetic, but Madison has a state capital building 6 blocks away, which makes it a political freak-magnet.

Following the lead of the despicable Governor Doyle, whose "not taking sides" in the Tyson Foods strike I mentioned earlier, it seems that the UW has now gotten into the act. Boots & Sabers has the whole story, but here's the point:

----------

Responding to student requests, University of Wisconsin-Madison administrators announced Friday that Tyson Foods products will not be served on campus until the six-month-long strike at the company's Jefferson plant is resolved.

Casey Nagy, executive assistant to the UW-Madison chancellor, said the ban will include food served at the campus unions, residence halls and UW-Extension facilities.

------------

Fine. UW is a bunch of nattering, pro-union, commie freaks. Whatever. I don't care. THIS is what pisses me off:

-----------

Nagy added that the ban does not mean the university is taking a position on the strike, but is instead a nod toward meeting consumer preferences.

-----------

I can't properly convey my reaction without resorting to the polite and courteous use of the English language, so just head on over to Boots & Sabers, 'cuz Owen restricts himself to a mere 4 excremental euphemisms.

How? I have no idea.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:07:09 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




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