PIRACY!
(A FILTHY LIE)
So I was chatting with Blogless Brother Tom the other night, and it seems he's had another run-in with Evil Glenn. He'd been struggling with the set-up of his new Hackmaster 3000 Hi-Speed CD-ROM Cloning Machine...
Tom: YARRR! Shiver me timbers! Another blue screen o' death! And another half-hour wasted fiddling with this monstrosity! I'm already behind on that Hong Kong order as it is... Where did I put those instructions?
[flipping up eye-patch, revealing a good eye]
[RING... RING... RING...]
Tom: Crap! Now what? I hope it's not Gates whining about licensing fees again. $300 billion in the bank and that pussy keeps carping about a few crates of illicit knock-offs...
[reaching for the phone & knocking over a stack of CD's crudely hand-labeled "Micorsoft Windoos 2000"]
Tom: Hello?
Evil Glenn: Hey Cap'n Yo Ho. Nice eye patch. Did that parrot come with the outfit or did you steal him from a Monty Python sketch?
Tom: Blow me, Puppy Blender. I'll have you know that this is traditional ceremonial garb in my line of work, and... wait a minute... how did you know what I'm wearing?
Evil Glenn: Check the web cam behind ya, Long John.
Tom [spinning around and squinting at his computer]: What the...? How did you get control of my web cam, you commie lovin', Robot Dancing bastard?
Evil Glenn: Same way I hacked your Currency Freak brother - you clicked when you should've clacked. Gotta be careful opening attachments in those "free pr0n" e-mails.
Tom: I was researching my novel!
Evil Glenn: Whatever. *slurrrrp* - *spitooie!*
Tom: EWWWW! WHAT was that disgusting sound?
Evil Glenn: Just doing a little product development on my PuppyGainer 2000 Power Shake product. We're still having a little trouble getting the toenails out during the filtering process.
Tom: Well, dog-breath, I'd love to sit here being revolted all night, but a cloner's work is never done. I've to places to go, people to swindle, and copyrights to infringe. Here - enjoy my cat's ass for a while.
[chucking web-cam into a nearby litter box]
Evil Glenn: How dare you resist my intrusive invasion of your privacy! I have every right to enter your home against your wishes at the time and method of my choosing! The Telemarketer's Guild shall hear of your insolence and you'll go as deaf as Rush Limbaugh from the cacauphonous din of unwanted insurance salesmen! You dirty, double-crossing, disrespectful dirt-bag!
Tom: Pirate!
[click]
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA YARRRR!
posted by Harvey at 11:21:16 PM permalink HOME
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