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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

"Tact is a stranger to you. I like that." - Chris Muir - Day By Day

"The man is a FREAK and a WEIRDO!" - Vigilance Matters

"The nicest thing about having Harvey around is that he makes the raincoat flashers look suave." - Rocket Jones

"...a very, very sick person." - She Who Will Be Obeyed

"pervert of renown extraordinare" - Practical Penumbra

"He's a really nice guy even if he is a little bit weird and creepy sometimes." - Reflections in d minor

"Curmudgeonly Old Coot" - BigStick.US

"Mr. Bad Example" - Straight White Guy

"Shpxurnq!!1!" - The Bartender of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon

"infamous den of rum, buggery, the lash, and pirate pickup lines" - ErosBlog




















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  Friday, November 28, 2003


TODAY’S LOVE NOTE

 

(Introduction)

 

Deep is where it is dark

Where there is mystery

Where the way is not known

Where it is easy to become fearful

And even turn back

But deep within your heart

Is where there’s always strength to go in

Where truth becomes known

Where your love holds me close

Where I need not be afraid

My hidden self

Deep, deep down

In the womb of yourself

Safe, nourished, guarded, enlivened

Take me there

…I wanna go.

 


posted by Harvey at 10:21:47 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY


I always knew I'd have to pay him eventually, but somehow I was really expecting it to be more expensive.

 


posted by Harvey at 10:16:07 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



PERVERT STREET CRED SIGNED, SEALED & DELIVERED

I was sifting through Technorati and discovered that I've been blogrolled by ErosBlog, a site dedicated to everything sexual, both naughty & nice (mostly naughty). It's not even remotely work safe (unless no-one's looking), although the bank's porn-filter let it through.

Bartender, this place needs to be in the Champagne Room EVERY WEEK!

 


posted by Harvey at 9:56:43 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



YOUTHFUL & TRENDY

Not words normally used to decribe me. However, I recently stumbled my way over to the "cutting edge youngster culture" section of the blogosphere.

First, I have to say that I'm starting to like Enemyster. It's a group blog that reminds me somewhat of a non-political version of the Emperor. It's pure, unadulterated frustration with not even a token nod toward courtesy, and there are simply times when this suits my mood to perfection.

Here's a good one (Nov 20, CTRL+F "Britneys"). Girls, if you ain't got the bod, skip the hip-huggers:

*********

Newsflash: tan flab is still flab. I don't want to see your Winnie-the-Pooh tattoo on the top of your ass. I don't want to see your stretchmarks; I have them too and I cover mine up. Also, you should know that those lowrise pants have unpleasant side effects other than disgusting me: if you have more than 2% body fat, you are spilling over; the word "sausagelike" always comes to mind. And for some reason as-of-yet unknown to science, those tiny jeans make your barely-covered ass look really round and bubblebutty.

*********

The other nifty thing about Enemyster is the blogroll - damn near all these blog titles would make good band names, as I'm sure Dana would tell you:

Sometime in the future I hope to be bored at work again & have time to poke around here a little more.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:30:39 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



HOLIDAY SHOPPING

Thanks to Alliance Blog-Buddy Physics Geek (who already voted in the Showcase this week), I found the perfect Christmas Gift for Susie. I figure it'll help with those early-morning blogging sessions.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:06:23 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



THANKSGIVING

(A FILTHY LIE)

 

I've been wondering about Evil Glenn's penchant for murdering hobos for a while. Examine this photo of Evil Glenn's first hobo-murdering experience. That's not actually a hobo. That's a  clown dressed up to look like a hobo. Which makes me think that the whole hobo-murdering thing is due to some sort of transference of his hatred for something else.

 

At first I thought Evil Glenn just hated clowns. Which I can DEFINITELY understand. I mean, clowns are grown men who wear make-up and want to have little children sit on their laps. *shudder* Creepy!

 

But it turns out that Evil Glenn hates all manner of deranged circus folk. And the reason is simple. Evil Glenn's family is a bunch of circus freaks. And I can prove it.

 

Here's a picture of Evil Glenn carving up a roast puppy for Thanksgiving. I can't tell what breed. Possibly beagle. But this is just one closely cropped picture. Where's the rest of Evil Glenn's family? Well, I hacked into his image-hosting server, and found the rest of Glenn's holiday pictures.

 

Here are his mom & dad.

 

Here's his sister Pat, the bearded lady, who currently runs the Cirque de Blenderre.

 

His brothers Jim Bob & Bubba Joe

 

His other brother Flappy Tim

 

His sister, Wattled Wanda, who, judging by her thighs, might be the love child that Hillary Clinton gave up for adoption.

 

Tim's boy, Flappy Junior.

 

His cousins Sheep-Head Ted and Wooly Wally

 

His other cousin, Half-Bod Todd.

 

And even his nephew, Nipply Ned.

 

I imagine it's hard for Evil Glenn to keep that 1000-watt smile pasted on his face as serves slabs of Snoopy to his hideously deformed family, but he keeps his seething hatred in check until they are all safely out the door for another year.

 

Then it's HAMMER TIME! And heaven help any hobo that crosses his path.

 

 

 

INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!

 


posted by Harvey at 7:36:12 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



NEW BLOG SHOWCASE VOTING PROBLEM UPDATE

Well, it looks like the Bear fixed the problem with the Black & Decker entry, more or less. Now if you link the blog's main page (which is where the entry vote link leads you), your vote will get counted.

Since I was too smart for my own good & used the ACTUAL permalink to the entry, my vote didn't get counted. Hopefully this post will work better.

I'm going to check here tomorrow & see if this gets me a V. If not, I'll vote for something else.

 


posted by Harvey at 6:44:11 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



NEVER TELL YOUR BARTENDER A SECRET

Ya know, I'm not REALLY proud of my family. They're a little... odd. But every once in a while, I get the urge to tell a few stories. Like yesterday, I had a few too many a Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon, and I started sharing a few anecdotes from this year's Thanksgiving celebration.

Turns out the Bartender couldn't keep his mouth shut, and now the whole world knows how I spent my Thanksgiving.

Next time I put a buck in his tip jar, I'm giving it a "dirty handshake", first.

 


posted by Harvey at 7:26:57 AM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




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