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Wednesday, March 10, 2004
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(Introduction)
To me, fair friend, you never can be old
For as you were when first your eye I eyed,
Such seems your beauty still.
posted by Harvey at 11:53:56 PM permalink HOME
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI
CURRENCY
[PLEASE REMIT]
Despondent over Kermit the Frog's unassailable disinterest, Miss Piggy
finally gave up hope and began dropping hints to his less famous little
brother.
posted by Harvey at 11:49:21 PM permalink HOME
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ALL ABOUT THE OIL
(A PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ASSIGNMENT)
Jose, a hippie Venzuelan in France seems to think that Americans are a
bunch of war-grabbing oil-mongers... or something. He recently said to
Jeff of BigStick.US:
"The US only went into Iraq because of the oil. They're going
to take all of the oil, and sell it to fund their global imperialism."
Hmmm… let's take a peek at Venezuela's history to see if Jose has any cause to be talkin' trash:
FUN FACTS ABOUT VENEZUELA (with apologies to Frank J.):
Venezuela is a small, mountainous country in South America that people
are constantly leaving because it smells like monkey poop.
Venezuela was originally colonized by bloodthirsty Spaniards. In Spain
at the time, 16th century hippies were forever chanting crap like
"Isabella=Genghis Khan" and "No Blood for Incan gold!" Like their
modern counterparts they, too were mocked by right-wing bloggers, who
at that time used a primitive form of the internet made out of abacuses
tied together with very long strips of rawhide.
The Venezuelan economy primarily produces bananas, coffee, sugarcane,
and ruthless dictators. Other crops include maize, cocoa, tobacco, and
bloody coups.
Venezuela was a founding member of OPEC and was instrumental in the
insane upward spiral of crude oil prices in the 1970's. However, they
were eventually kicked out refusing to adopt the turban as their
"national funny hat".
Like Iraq, Venezuela was the beneficiary of an oil-for-food program. No, seriously. These dickweeds can't even feed themselves.
With that in mind it becomes fairly obvious what's going on here. All
Americans look the same to foreign nationals, and Jose has mistaken
Jeff for George W. Bush. He hopes to provoke Jeff (W.) into such a rage
that he'll invade Venezuela and turn that smelly patch of dirt into a
model democracy, freed at last of dictators, smelly monkeys & food
shortages.
Well, Jose, we'll pass your request along to the proper authorities,
but you'll have to go to the end of the line. Iran & North Korea
were here first.
SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!
posted by Harvey at 8:09:23 PM permalink HOME
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ABOUT F'N TIME
_Jon aka HySpeed aka Blogson FINALLY got around to getting himself a
blog. Actually, he's had it for a while, but he's just getting around
to posting again. Or at least to telling me about it.
However, the caution flag goes up at this point. It's got enough gratuitous cursing to make Misha look like Mr. Rogers, so those with delicate sensibilities might want to put blindfolds on before reading.
On the other hand, it IS called "We Swear" (tagline: Figuratively. Literally), so you can't say you weren't warned, especially since the following line appears in the inaugural post:
See, here's the deal - we swear as adjectives in the story. We strive
to avoid swearing to insult, offend, or disrespect people.
Unfortunately, we're not always successful.
Ahhh... takes me back to my Navy days, it does, when a man could easily
cram 7 F-bombs in a single sentence and no one would even blink...
*sigh* I can't do that anymore, what with being back in the world &
married to a proper lady & all...Damn civilization...
Anyway, this post
(ostensibly on the topic of the Federal Marriage Amendment) makes an
interesting point that I was not previously aware of: kids today
already have no respect for the institution of marriage, and the FMA
isn't going to change that. I'll quote (and slightly cleanse) a salient
passage that was, frankly, news to me:
Now, where would I, a 38 year-old white male, get a clue as to
"kids" and Pop Culture? Well, to be honest - Chat Rooms. No, not like that.
I have to pay attention to what my "kids" chat about - all "parents"
should. In addition, I play games - video games. You know, those evil
things that make people do bad things. I listen to what kids talk about in these games, I follow their conversations, and I pay attention. Oh, and I'm writing a game - I need to know these things. (yes, they also have a chat room where they talk about what they do now that they are married.)
And here's my point - kids (ages 14 - 25+) don't think of "marriage"
as a "big deal". And I'm not talking just about the "living together"
thing. I mean in the other direction too. On a regular basis, I watch
people chat about "getting married'. After hours / days / weeks of
"being friends / dating / engaged", two "cyber people" will go off and
have a ceremony in another chat room and get married. Lots of them are married multiple times.
Shocking huh? That's right - the sons and daughters of the Internet
World are getting "virtually" married to people they've never met -
then going off and doing it again. And here's my den Beste-an point: Today's youth are making a mockery of marriage.
In a decade, when these people are ready for "serious commitment",
(e.g. to get "indoctrinated" into the "institution") the opinion of
some shriveled-organ prisses at "The Capitol" are going to be ir-f******-relavant.
I'm not sure where to slip that into my already befuddled notions of
where to stand regarding same-sex marriage, but I'll be pondering it.
Meanwhile, I'll keep an eye out for more goodies from We Swear, and give announcements as required.
posted by Harvey at 5:34:33 PM permalink HOME
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I WANT TO WORK IN A MOVIE THEATER!
So I can overhear conversational snippets like the one Susie posted.
3 lines, 10 seconds. LOL! :-)
posted by Harvey at 7:25:05 AM permalink HOME
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© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 9/10/2005; 5:08:51 PM.
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