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Tuesday, March 30, 2004
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(Introduction)
Had I no eyes but ears, my ears would love
That inward beauty and invisible;
Or were I deaf, thy outward parts would move
Each part in me that were but sensible:
Though neither eyes nor ears, to hear nor see,
And nothing but the very smell were left me,
Yet should I be in love by touching thee.
Say, that the sense of feeling were bereft me,
And that I could not see, nor hear, nor touch,
Yet would my love to thee be still as much;
posted by Harvey at 7:25:16 PM permalink HOME
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI
CURRENCY
[12/18/00 Wisconsin Shawna [heart] Jason 4 eva yo]
The best part about living in Wisconsin is that marriage licenses are easy to fill out and incredibly cheap.
posted by Harvey at 7:16:31 PM permalink HOME
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BENEFITS OF APPEASEMENT
(A PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ASSIGNMENT)
When I first heard that our former allies, the Spanish, had chosen to
bend over and take the Vaseline-free loving of Muslim terrorists, I was
very surprised. But after thinking it over, I decided that there might
be some benefits for us if we followed them down Appeasement Street. If
we give up, roll over and pretend it's September 10th again, then...
Women will no longer have to worry whether their outfits clash with the
terror threat level color code of the day, since everything goes with
red.
Environmentalists will be happier, since we'll no longer be bombing precious endangered species of sand.
Employees at Jiffy Lube will no longer have to waste time asking you whether you want 10W-30 or blood for oil.
Since filthy hippies won't have to spend their days at protest marches,
normal Americans will once again be free to go outside without nose
plugs.
I'll finally be able to get my nail clippers through airport security.
And I won't have to take off my pretty pink high-heeled shoes.
What?
The millions of innocent Muslims currently being tortured in Bushiter's concentration camps will finally be freed.
Gucci will be able to make a fortune selling designer bomb belts.
John Kerry can stop worrying about terrorism and focus on winning the war in Vietnam.
Our troops will be safe from attacks, as long as they don't become civilians and get jobs in tall office buildings.
Dan Rather will get more of the attention he craves since he'll no
longer have to share the media spotlight with nattering warbloggers.
Once the kooks have been properly appeased they may, as Frank J muses, start using less explosive techniques on us. Like shaving naughty words on the backs of our heads.
We can be friends with the French again. At least for the five seconds
it will take them to find another reason to hate us, like the fact that
we don't speak their stupid, gibbery, monkey-language.
Friends with the French?... On second thought, let's just kill the terrorists and be done with it..
SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!
posted by Harvey at 7:10:29 PM permalink HOME
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BUT... WHY?
Tiffany of Blown Fuse has a post on the evils of panty hose.
Maybe it's the testosterone, but I just can't figure out the purpose
of panty hose. 95% of the time, I can't even tell you're wearing it
anyway, and the other 5% it makes your legs look shiny, which, in my
mind, is a weird thing to shoot for.
Or is this just another silly fashion hand-me-down from the dark ages like the necktie?
Oh, and I have never once in my life noticed a run in a stocking that wasn't first pointed out to me.
posted by Harvey at 6:17:57 PM permalink HOME
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(Introduction)
To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our
human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making
to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily
the person one desires to be.
posted by Harvey at 12:15:54 AM permalink HOME
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI
CURRENCY
[MEXICAN MAFIA]
una oferta que él no podría rechazar
posted by Harvey at 12:11:47 AM permalink HOME
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© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 9/10/2005; 5:09:05 PM.
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