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Wednesday, March 17, 2004
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(Introduction)
Chosen by your heart, living your every breath, and joining with your soul - that was my only wish.
posted by Harvey at 11:59:51 PM permalink HOME
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI
CURRENCY
[Q tip]
George really didn't mind having to wear the powdered wig all the time, but that nickname was really starting to get on his nerves.
posted by Harvey at 11:57:59 PM permalink HOME
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CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES
Up & running at Patterico's Pontifications.
Gem of the week is hiding WAY at the bottom, where you can find Les
Jones turning an otherwise crappy, forgettable, blurry, lo-res picture
into a work of art
(several, actually) through the magic of Photoshop filters. I like the
Polar Coordinates one best. Makes it look like a reflection in a chrome
hubcap. Cool.
posted by Harvey at 11:48:06 PM permalink HOME
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WHY CAN'T MY WIFE ORDER OUT OF THIS CATALOG INSTEAD OF LTD?
Heather's got links to some interesting catalogs, my favorite, of course, being Fierce Diva.
Now THERE are some pictures to warm a man's heart...
There's also catalogs for cheese & dragons & lonely Philippino women, but I'm a little too busy to look at those right now.
posted by Harvey at 11:41:20 PM permalink HOME
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FRANCES SECRET REASONS
(A PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ASSIGNMENT)
Why wouldn't the French help out in Iraq? Lots of reasons:
* The men of France had a list of vital chores to complete
* As did the women
* It's not easy finding a Girl Scout troop to surrender to during the busy cookie-selling season.
* They were having trouble finding just the right jaunty angle to wear their berets.
* Iraq didn't have enough stinky cheese to make the trip worth their while, but they did generously offer to invade Wisconsin.
* They were afraid of getting their asses handed to them by the Iraqi boys soccer team.
* Their tanks only run in reverse, so they couldn't help with the going
in part. But if we need help with the pulling out part...
* Desert camo colors clash with those tacky Where's Waldo shirts they
all wear, and a fashion faux pas of that magnitude is considered a war
crime.
* Haven't yet perfected the bullet-proof beret.
* The nation's ammo supply was already earmarked for cheese hunting season
* They couldn't find an Iraqi phrase for "I am a surrender monkey"
* Too busy laundering the oil-for-food money
* Couldn't get permission from their mommies.
* Troop movement logistics were problematic. Seems the collective stench from 200 French troops inevitably melts aircraft hulls.
* Claimed there was no way to keep their frog supply fed in the "no fly zones"
* Due to a nation-wide pig shortage, the French Army was too busy rooting for truffles.
* Couldn't invade until they figured out which wine goes with falafel.
* The French constitution forbids the slaughtering of native populations outside the African continent.
* Not enough benzene in Iraqi bottled water.
* They're still bitter about Al Franken beating Jerry Lewis in the last round of Iraqi Idol.
Oh, and they're a bunch of spineless, yellow-bellied cowards.
SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!
posted by Harvey at 7:52:58 AM permalink HOME
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© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 9/10/2005; 5:08:55 PM.
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