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Monday, March 29, 2004
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE
Dave of Dave's Not Here recently accomplished the following:
Came back from his job in Iraq as a civilian contractor.
Had his 33rd birthday. Hey, 4 more months & he'll be an LP.
Took a picture of a building
that probably makes Ralph Nader hiss like a vampire seeing a cross,
since it's huge, visually striking, architecturally impressive, and
stunningly corporate-looking.
posted by Harvey at 11:07:15 PM permalink HOME
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I KNOW "TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY" ISN'T UNTIL SEPTEMBER, BUT...
So I was poking around at Straight White Guy's place, and in the comments to this post was
something about what "jolly rogering" meant. Unfortunately, the actual
definition wasn't given, so I tried Googling.
I didn't find what I was looking for, but I DID find some pirate pick-up lines, instead, so until Eric explains, I'll have to be content with this:
- "I must be huntin' treasure, 'cause I'm diggin' yer chest."
- "You're just the tasty wench I've been keeping me eye out for!"
- "Hey, sexy -- how about a Jolly Rogering?"
- "Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber."
- "See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby."
- "WOW! I bet we could fit SIXteen men on that chest!"
- "Me skull and crossbones arn't the only thing I plan on raisin' tonight."
- "Do ya mind if the parrot watches?"
- "Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin'?"
- "Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded."
- "So you're the new cabin boy, eh?"
- "Do you have the latest copy of Windows XP with cracked product activation?" (software pirates only)
- "Yo, ho! Bottle of rum?"
- "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you free on Saturday?"
and the Number 1 Pirate Pick-Up Line...
- "Is there an 'X' on the seat of your pants? Because it appears that there's wond'rous booty buried underneath!"
Most of which make me think of Susie, for some reason. Except for #4, which has Blogless Brother Tom written all over it.
posted by Harvey at 9:31:37 PM permalink HOME
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BEST OF ME SYMPHONY
...is up at Rocket Jones. Nothing fancy, just quality intros, but that's good enough.
My favorite would be Bunsen's post on idiots who open attachments from people they don't know. The best part of which is the list of spam titles that made me snicker, including (but not limited to):
Paris Hilton Gets You College Degrees Cheap!
You can get 5% more chlamydia in just one month xhsdfhdg**
Metamucil #$%g Crackerjacks &&^$##) Pampers $!@$
Spycams catch sweaty fat jailbait with Montezuma's revenge!
Man, that last one just makes me flinch.
posted by Harvey at 9:15:22 PM permalink HOME
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YES I DO
Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks has another installment of "I feel lucky", where he plugs semi-random words into Google to see what floats to the top.
This week's selections are:
Gypsum Vine Smelly
Granite Dust Mite Tangy
Argon Locust Shredded
Which returned results on the order of:
Ok, I can see that.
WTF?
hmmm... that might be useful
respectively
posted by Harvey at 9:02:51 PM permalink HOME
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KING OF THE BLOGS FINAL RESULTS
...have been posted at the KotB page:
WalloWorld 37.25
Irritable Blog Syndrome 32.1
Blog Supplement 27.975
Good King Bill appears to turning into "Undethronable Despot Bill".
Someone really needs to step up & take the long wind out of this
tyrant's sails.
Be sure to read the reviews and witness such shocking things as:
Susie using the word "suck".
Ian using stuffy words like "erudite"
Pietro confessing his undying lust for Sigourney Weaver.
Trey Givens trying his best to throw a monkey wrench in the whole works. Silly Objectivist, tricks are for kids.
posted by Harvey at 8:37:28 PM permalink HOME
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"STUDYING FOR FINALS"... OR SOME OTHER EUPHEMISM
Jeff of BigStick.US is in need of some... assistance.
in France, it's really hard to get
a decent porno magazine, that doesn't cost 20 bucks and doesn't have
horses and shit in it (French people are perverts!!)
This is what I humbly ask, and whether you agree with it or not, please just try to pass the word around:
I'd really like it if somebody
would mail me a Playboy. A hustler even, or one of those mini-magazines
that don't cost as much to mail.
Much as I'd love to help directly, I dumped all my dead tree porn after
marrying a beautiful woman with healthy appetites. However, if you've
got a couple of left over magazines and want to prevent the tragedy of
masturbation to horse porn, then please send what you can to:
Jeff Harr
Chambre A45
2, avenue des Jeux Olympiques
38029 GRENOBLE CEDEX 2, FRANCE
And please, no midgets, horses, firemen, or hairy French broads.
Trey, don't even ask.
Crap. I just realized that having the phrase "horse porn" in this entry is gonna rope in some bad Google searches.
*shrug*
posted by Harvey at 6:32:03 PM permalink HOME
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THE BARTENDER IS DRUNK AGAIN
Or so I assume, since he's started reminiscing about Ye Olde Tyme TV over at Madfish Willie's. See if you remember any of the shows this old coot is talking about, some of which are:
Flashback... Atom Ant/Secret
Squirrel... The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle... I hated Sesame
Street... Never watched Mr Rogers... Popeye - now that guy was always
kicking some ass... Bugs Bunny - did anyone ever [f***] him up, EVER?...
There's more at the bar.
And just for the record, I always thought Mr. Rogers was a little creepy...
posted by Harvey at 6:24:36 PM permalink HOME
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