TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(introduction)

Love is when thoughts of but one woman fill your heart, when she means more than life to you, when you know you would do anything for her and shall die if she is taken from you. Desire is when you ache to see her and touch her, when she causes your body to burn and tremble.

GOOD ADVICE FROM FRANK J

I got this via the random IMAO quote generator at, uh, IMAO:

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(note to self: when asking, "What would Jesus do?" remember that the answer is sometimes "Freak out and knock over tables.")

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Heh. And you wonder why I go there every day.

TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(A FILTHY LIE)



[Some day I'm going to marry you. I love you with everything I have. I would do anything just to see you smile.]

Awwww... Evil Glenn has a crush on the Prince of Darkness. Isn't that cute?

KICK IN THE PANTS AWARD GOES TO...

Gun-grabbing, mealy-mouthed, whiny-bitch liberals for lying through their black-and-green rotting teeth for SO DAMN LONG:

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ATLANTA, Oct 2 (Reuters) - A report published by the Centers for Disease Control on Thursday found no conclusive evidence that gun control laws help to prevent violent crime, suicides and accidental injuries in the United States.

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I think I'll celebrate by getting me one of these.

(mmmm... gun porn)

(Hat tip to my blogless old high school chess club buddy for the Reuters link)

YOU MEAN IT'S NOT REALLY BILL?

Via the Carnival of the Vanities #54, I discovered some software that can actually perform without crashing (unlike Outlook Express, which died & took the contents of my Inbox folder this morning) at Happy Furry Puppy Story Time. Just type in an "unpopular development" and out pops Bill O'Reilly's answer. For example:

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(1) Unpopular Development: Sun will run out of fuel in several billion years. Program Spits Out: I say "Mr. Sun, you're just not trying hard enough". If our forefathers had displayed the same kind of shameful lack of stick-to-it-iveness of your fusion core, the Pilgrims would have drowned halfway across the Atlantic. We appreciate your life-sustaining heat, but I have a feeling you're taking what middle America does for you for granted.

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Don't get me wrong, I like Bill O'Reilly. When it comes to bitch-slapping liberal asshats, there's none finer. But he does have a tendency to become... flaky... on occasion. However you feel about the man, the Bill O'Reilly-ware Beta v3.0 is a quality product.

(9-26-03 if PAB, CTRL+F keyword "international")

NOT SURE HOW TO ENFORCE THIS ONE...

Over at Quibbles & Bits, J has an excellent suggestion for a UN Resolution that would actually do some good. It reads, in part:

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We, the United Nations, do resolve to stop being nattering nitwits.

We, the United Nations, also resolve that the US was right all along and invading Iraq has resulted in a net gain of liberty in the world, even though the plethora of petty dictators who run this here international body are quaking in their boots at the thought of the US laying some smack down on them for the same exact reasons.

We, the United Nations, resolve that we'll get off our collective asses and help the US fight terrorism.

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If they don't pass it, we'll just send in Rumsfeld to do a little strangling "persuading".

RACK 'EM UP

America's #1 pin-up girl has hinted that she'll be willing to boobify her blog (for a good cause, of course) if she gets enough encouragement from her readers. Drop by Note-It Posts and give her a round of applause. Tucking dollars into her G-string is optional.

Susie's still holding out on the thong pictures for now, but at least she's given us a couple of things to look at until the main event.

She's also wondering if her blog needs more pink. I say Practical Penumbra should have all the pink that Susie can show us.

Whaddya mean "that sounds dirty"? You people are a bunch of degenerates!

BLACKFIVE: KISS AND TELL

In the midst of Matt's inebriated Irish drinking celebration, he listed the bloggers that he'd most like to have at the bar with him. It reads like a who's who of blogger greatness.

Then he threw my name on the list. Twice. He must've been REALLY drunk when he posted it.

And as honored and flattered as I am, I'm hesitant to accept the offer after finding out what happened when he got drunk with a Turkish General and a smart-ass Master Sergeant.

Gee, Matt, I'll toast your health, but if you're lookin' for lovin', rumor has it that Susie's got a much better set of *ahem* attractive qualities.

VOTE!

There's a poll up at HQ on whether a second front should be opened in the Blog War to include devastating attacks on terrorists and their supporters. Vote now. The future of Alliance humor depends on you.

VOTE WISELY

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The only party that is publicly committed to:
-raising prices
-destroying industry
-causing inflation
-ruining the economy

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Oddly enough, it's not the Democrats. Absinthe & Cookies can tell you the rest.

ROTK ROCKS

Absinthe & Cookies has a link to the Return of the King trailer. Go to her place for the link and leave a "thank you" in the comments.

Once again I find myself actually looking forward to December in Wisconsin. Third year in a row. Go figure.

SHORT ANSWER QUIZ

Joey over at Single White Male, desperately trying to hit the double-digit comment mark, has a question which no doubt stems from the evil days of his hippie youth (or youth-er, since he's still 17):

If you could only bathe once a year, on which day would you do it, and why?

(Monday, September 29 if PAB) After you leave him an answer, scroll down really fast, and stop to admire the gun porn and the photoshopped pic of Michael Moore in clown make up.

Oh, and tell him to get off Blogspot.