AMERICAN DIGEST HAT TRICK

Three consecutive posts at American Digest that I found amusing:

Sample 1:

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"Aim towards the Enemy."
— Instructions printed on a US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
— U.S. Marine Corps

"Bombing from B-52's is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
— U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

If the enemy is in range, so are you."
— Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
— Army's magazine of preventive maintenance

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#2 - just a 15-second read, but good

Sample 3:

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Paris mayor Bertrand Delano has bestowed honorary French citizenship on Mumia Abu-Jamal, convicted cop killer, who is on Pennsylvania death row.

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link to the link to the original article is at AD. That, and I love how he titled his entry.

A QUICKIE WITH AMERICA'S #1 PIN-UP GIRL

Go spend 10 seconds reading this at Dana's place. Trust me.

STICKIN' IT TO THE MAN

Frankly, I don't know whether to be happy or sad about Dana's report on progress in the field of male contraception. It's not that I'm afraid of needles, or anything, it's just that if I'm busy getting all those hormone shots, I'll have less time for blogging.

[WHACK!]

OUCH! Oh, and, uh, spending quality time with my Beloved Wife.

[pat, pat, "much better answer, Honey"]

COUNTING ON HEATHER

I don't count calories, myself. I'm more of a "eat whatever, weigh myself, if the number's too high then don't eat so damn much tomorrow & maybe put a little more UMPH! into my lazy little workout" kinda guy. But as a service to the counters, I'd like to mention that Heather has the best links all together in one convenient little post.

200 WORDS OR LESS:

UNMENTIONABLES

Today's question comes from the book: "The Relationship Q&A":

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1. [Boxers or briefs?] Do you wander around in your underwear at home?

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Well,... not my underwear...

WHEN IRISH EYES ARE BLOODSHOT...

Since being Irish in Chicago when the Cubbies are in the playoffs isn't reason enough to get:

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blitzed, blasted, blotto, bombed, cockeyed, crocked, ripped, looped, loaded, leveled, wasted, wiped, soused, sizzled, smashed, and schnockered. Stewed, stinko, stupid, tanked, totaled, tight, and tipsy. Not to mention feeling no pain, three sheets to the wind, in one’s cups, intoxicated, addle-pated, and pixilated

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Matt of Blackfive has to go invent the Blogger Drinking Game. Looks like I'll have to whip up a 200 Words or Less post so that both "by the rule" & "by the exception" players will get a drink today.

HAPPY HARV

Susie made me smile today. It's a 20-second read, so I can't excerpt it, but just trust me on this. If you go there and don't enjoy it, I'll cheerfully refund your 20 seconds.

GUN PORN OR BOOBIES?

I never thought I'd say this, but given the choice between ogling this bit of Boots & Sabers gun porn and the best boobies in the blogosphere, I'd actually have to sit down and think it over...

...before I went for the boobies.

SPEAKING OF OGLING BOOBIES: Ah, Crap!

FEEDBACK FOR FEARLESS LEADER

Frank posted an important question at Alliance HQ that could have dramatic repercussions on what the Alliance is all about (plus provide more and better linkage for members). Even those not involved in the Blog War should have a look at this, because even if spreading Filthy Lies about Glenn Reynolds isn't your cup o' tea, you still might have something to gain by getting involved:

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Though destroying White Glenn and his evil minions is important, I see other, bigger things for the Alliance as well. I want us to be a portal to a blogosphere, the place for people new to the concept of blogging to come first. We'll have FAQ's on blogging and a glossary of blogging terms and point people to the important blogs (ours).

The puppy blender doesn't want to be a news service, but I say we should be. We should have a site that has puts out daily all the worthwhile news and blog links, a one stop shop for people wanting to know what's going on in the world. Maybe Inoperable Terran can help on that initiative, already being a respected linker.

Also, we should have another site dedicated to just giving people their daily does of humor (and thus would always have a link to my site each day, IMAO being the single greatest compendium of humor in the history of the universe). It would link to humor pieces on blogs and elsewhere (such as The Onion).

So what does everyone think? The blogosphere is ours for the taking if we work for it.

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Go throw your 2 cents into the comments at HQ.

FRANK SO CWAZY

Time to take another vacation in Frank's world:

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"Dah!" Arnold Schwarzenegger yelled as he picked up his desk and snapped it in two.

"You have to calm down," President Bush told him, "You have to expect these kind of attacks from evil people like Gray Davis."

"Woman have boobies and I like to touch them!" Arnold shouted, "Why is that wrong?"

"Hey, I don't make the laws," Bush said defensively, but then thought for a moment. "Well, I do sign them."

"And I no like Hitler!" Arnold said angrily, "Nazis are puny! I crush them! I am Ah-nuld!"

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Plenty more where that came from. Go read it. Drink Alert in effect.

CHEST O' PRIDE

I'm not a t-shirt kinda guy, for the most part, but after seeing the "Bring 'em on, Allah" number that Cox & Forkum whipped up, I may have to re-think my clothing options...

NEW BAR IN TOWN

After spending countless months as a welcome ghost in blog comments all over the 'sphere, Mike has finally taken his first steps on the road to becoming corporeal (in a virtual sort of way):

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Grand Opening Invitation!

You are cordially invited to attend the Grand Opening of the blogosphere's newest Casual Drinking Establishment - Madfish Willie's, where every day's a holiday and every meal's a feast!

Madfish Willie's is officially open for business at www.MadfishWillies.blogspot.com

Madfish Recipe for Success™:
Mix two parts Humor, one part Satire, 1/2 ounce of Common Sense, shaken, stirred, straight up, on the rocks, and ice cold! Garnish with liberal dose of Blog Linkage. Pour into giant plastic cup. Sit back in comfy chair and to hell with everything!

So drop on by for a couple of beers and a little bit o' bullshittin'!

Cheers!

Madfish Willie, The Bartender, & GoatHead

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You can start with "Happy Hour" (October 6 if PAB, CTRL+F keyword "happy hour") or just order something off the top shelf & work your way down.

I guarantee it's better than Cheers, if for no other reason than a decided lack of Hollywood Asshats like Danson & Harrelson.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Thoughts of you warm my heart like a moon lit summer night.

TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



From "Blackfive's Guide to Serious Drinkin' for the Non-Irish", p. 27:

"On Dollar Beer Night, always label your bills before you head out to the bar. That way, even if you're too drunk to remember what to order, you can still get the beer you want. Think of it as a "designated driver" for your wallet."