200 WORDS OR LESS:
Today's question comes from the book, "The Conversation Piece":
Suppose that each day you had to spend one hour in private meditation or contemplation and that by snapping your fingers, you could instantly transport yourself anywhere for the duration of this quiet time. Where would you choose to go?
Last time I used this power, I wound up in a California forest. My old friend Lumberjack Bill was having some problems:
Harv: What's the trouble, Bill?
Bill: I need to cut down a tree, but there's a damn hippy in the way. Same one that chained himself to a tree last week.
Harv: So what? Last week you just sawed his damn arm off and he got himself unchained pretty quickly.
Bill: Yeah, but this time he's way up high and I can't get near the tree at all.
Harv: The smell?
Bill: That too, but it's the singin' that's the real problem.
Harv: Hmmm... I'll see what I can do.
I wandered off and soon heard an off-key screeching, not unlike a blend of Mariah Carey and a hundred mating alley cats:
"Tofu, granola, and Birkenstock sandals,
Incense, patchouli, and spacey drip candles,
Acid and Phish songs, such good times they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things!"
Harv: Gotta stop this nightmare! Hmmm... what would Darwin do?... AHA!
[5 minutes later]
Bill: What happened? I heard a scream and a thud.
Harv: Think, Bill. How do you get a one-armed hippy out of a tree?
[Together, smiling]: Wave!
posted by Harvey at 6:52:30 PM permalink HOME