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Wednesday, October 29, 2003
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WHERE DID THE BARTENDER GO TO COLLEGE? F*** U.
Geez, ya sit in the corner of the bar 16 hours a day, ya cram bills into that SOB's tip jar (hey Barkeep, ya ever think of maybe washing that filth-encrusted thing once in a while?), ya tell him over and over what a swell joint he runs, and what thanks do ya get? A free beer? A pass to the Champagne Room? A drink named after ya?
F*** NO!
You get to hear the freakin' host bitchin' & whinin' like a kid who got his lollipop stolen.
"Nobody leaves comments. Nobody loves me. I've gone from a Microbe to a Mammal in 3 weeks but I need MORE attention. Gimme, gimme, gimme. ME! ME! ME!
Ah, F*** YOU, Bartender. I ain't listenin' to your crap any more. There's a million bars in cyberspace, and none of the rest of 'em have your constant, pounding stream of blathering bullshit. Nowhere else do I have put up with you idiotic carping, and those godforsaken-stupid-hideous puns & jokes. Cripes! It just makes me want jam a swizzle-stick in my ear to make it all stop!
Dammit Barkeep, I've had it with you! For 2 cents I'd bust you right in the chops, ya lousy bum! And furthermore...
What?
Free pretzels?
Ok, I'll leave a comment.
And slide me down a tapper before the Jumpin' Irish Army Boy drinks the god-damned place dry.
Thanks, Barkeep.
posted by Harvey at 10:49:06 PM permalink HOME
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FREE FOOD FOR HUNGRY VETS
Matt O'Blackfive has a bone to pick with Veteran's Day.
What could possibly be wrong with a day that honors those who've sacrificed life, limb, blood, time, and treasure to protect the country they so dearly love? Well, nothing... in theory. In practice... a lot. As Matt points out, the only people who get this day off are government workers - regardless of whether they've served. Retired & discharged vets all over the country working jobs in the private sector receive nothing. As do those on active duty.
Well, maybe not nothing:
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Veterans Eat Free on Veterans Day! Bill McCormick and Doug Schmick, founders and managers of McCormick & Schmick's Seafood Restaurants, are offering a free lunch or dinner (with coffee or tea) at their restaurants nationwide on Veteran's Day, Nov. 11. The meals will be available from specially selected menu items for veterans with identification such as a veteran's ID card, discharge paper or DD-214.
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If you're a veteran, go eat. You deserve it.
If you're not a verteran, go eat to say thanks to McCormick & Schmick for their thoughtfulness and generosity.
posted by Harvey at 10:31:07 PM permalink HOME
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BENEATH THE DARKNESS
I've compared J's writings to Stephen King.
This is darker.
I've compared J's writings to Harlan Ellison
This is darker.
Now I'm debating whether to compare him to Dean Koontz.
I think this is still a little darker.
Clive Barker, circa The Books of Blood?
Yeah, that's about right.
My only complaint about this piece is that it screams for continuation. I want to know what happens next. Maybe if he gets enough requests, he'll give us another chunk.
Dana, sweet mother-to-be, I have to warn you personally, you probably don't want to read this one.
posted by Harvey at 9:45:51 PM permalink HOME
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COTV #58...
...is up at Who Censored Blogger Rabbit. I've barely had a chance to get started, but I found this entry from PC Watch to be intriguing. He explains the origins of the term "political correctness":
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“The term "politically correct" (PC) was first used by supporters of the Communist Revolution in Russia. They decided that it would be politically incorrect to speak up about the mass murders being committed by the revolutionary government, since doing so would give comfort to the enemies of the revolution. To be politically correct was to support the promised goal of absolute equality, even if the means included mass murder.
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I'm not surprised, but I am nauseated. Not to mention entirely displeased that the lefties have seen fit to carry forward this fine commie tradition.
Why couldn't they just stick to drinking way too much vodka, instead?
posted by Harvey at 7:37:24 PM permalink HOME
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(Introduction)
Whenever we're apart it feels like a part of me is missing... and then I remember, you have my heart.
posted by Harvey at 6:10:40 PM permalink HOME
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
In honor of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon's Grand Opening of its new establishment in Munuviana, the Bartender's best customers proudly present him with his first dollar of clear profit (suitable for framing).
posted by Harvey at 6:07:37 PM permalink HOME
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© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 9/10/2005; 4:19:34 PM.
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