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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

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"The man is a FREAK and a WEIRDO!" - Vigilance Matters

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"...a very, very sick person." - She Who Will Be Obeyed

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  Thursday, October 16, 2003


I LIKE STUPID PEOPLE FOR THEIR ENTERTAINMENT VALUE

I've seen and/or heard of a lot of dumb warning labels, but SilverBlue has a collection of them, plus his own pithy commentary:

**********

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).


On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special?)


On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's "just" a suggestion)

**********

The rest of them are just a click away.

(Hat tip to Susie for finding this for me)


posted by Harvey at 10:36:15 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




FARKIN' 20

This is simply too money-related for me not to link to. The good folks at Fark.com have photoshopped that horrid, nasty, peanut-butter & pistachio new $20 bill. The designs they come up with are at least as good.

Drink alert, and a general warning. This page is VERY graphics intensive and takes a good chunk of time to download. If you're on dial-up, pack a lunch.

It's worth it, though.

 


posted by Harvey at 10:30:30 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE

I don't read a lot of poetry, but I know what I like. I like meter. I like rhyme, and I like it to be complex enough that you have to work a little bit to figure out what the poet is really saying. I find that a lot in Shakespeare's sonnets, which is why I enjoyed reading them in high school, even though they were required.

I'm also liking Heather's "Sonnet #2" , for all the same reasons. It fits the requirements of the form, and it's not a transparent read. But it's very good.

 


posted by Harvey at 10:23:22 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



HAPPY DINK

People are never always saying to me, "Harv, you are so handsome, your wife is so beautiful, and you're both so above-averagely-intelligent, why don't you have kids to make the world a better place?"

Lots of reasons, none of which any childed person would find convincing. But right now, I'm thinking about the reason that Snooze Button Dreams illustrates so well.

Drink alert in effect.

 


posted by Harvey at 10:16:06 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



NORTH KOREA IS SO DAMNED ANNOYING

The thing I like best about the way W is handling North Korea is that his big plan is... to do nothing. Kim Jong Il is misbehaving like a spoiled child (albeit an insane and violent one), and W is doing the right thing by not rewarding him with concessions or attention. No matter what idiot noise Kim makes, W shrugs & focuses on the real threats from Islamic nutballs. I like a man who has his foreign policy priorities straight.

Not that Kim isn't still as bothersome as a burr in your Jockeys. As Mary Beth of Random Thoughts From A Confused Mind points out, he's still trying to make demands as if he's in some kind of position to bargain. In this case, he wants Japan left out of future talks regarding NK's nuke program. Yes, the same Japan that's within range of those nuclear-tipped missiles that Kim if desperately trying to build before his regime collapses.

I'm thinkin' Kimmy could use a couple weeks in the Cleansing Clinic.


posted by Harvey at 10:04:43 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



NAVY'S BIRTHDAY

Seriously, though, Matt actually did ask if I was going to do anything special to celebrate the Navy's birthday.

Yes.

I'm going to take out my DD-214 and give it a BIG hug.

 

 


posted by Harvey at 9:49:42 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



WHEN SUSIE WAS SAD

I heard Susie say "damn" once. It was a chilling experience. She doesn't swear in this post, where she expresses her dismay at some trollish behaviors, but you can hear her NOT swearing, and that somehow seems worse.

The topic at hand was the blogger S-Train, who had a terrifying personal experience with some violent goblins breaking into his house intent on harming him and his family. Even worse was that the incident was racially motivated. S-Train did get some supportive messages, but there were also those who took it upon themselves to act like complete assholes. It's these people who Susie takes to task:

**********

What is wrong with people?

Particularly "Andrew H" and "jim long" and the other orcs who led the harrassment in S-Train's comments.
What next for these yokels with too much time on their hands? Start demanding that Tiger post his law degree so they know he is a real lawyer?
How about Mookie? Planning on stopping by there to demand she prove she is a teenager because she posts about High School?
Or me? Are they going to bombard my site administrator demanding to know my whereabouts so they can see a movie for a dollar?

This is not journalism, folks. This is blogging. This is about people spouting off their opinions, musing on the events of their day, sharing a joke with friends. A blog is not a police blotter or a newspaper or a scholarly journal and the orcs who think otherwise need to have their internet access yanked from them and their keyboards covered with molasses.

**********

On the bright side, S-Train is back in business, and I, for one, am glad to hear it.

F'n trolls.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:44:13 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



QUICKIE AT NOTE-IT POSTS

Dana's got a great short quote at her place. It's a 5-second read. Trust me on this one.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:31:43 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

When I kiss you, it tastes like heaven... so sweet, loving, kind and caring.

 


posted by Harvey at 8:46:30 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



George Washington: the original Paratrooper of Love.

 


posted by Harvey at 8:44:34 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



IN FRANK'S WORLD

Can't believe you haven't been  there yet but he's got part 2 of the Demon-crat up. Which I thought was even funnier than part 1. But it makes more sense if you read part 1 first. Well, as far as any In My World post actually makes sense, that is :-)


posted by Harvey at 7:45:18 AM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



AWARDING MICHAEL MOORE

New Precision Guided Humor assignment at Alliance HQ. This time people get to make up awards for Michael Moore. How about "Face Most Strongly Resembling A Monkey's Ass"?


posted by Harvey at 7:34:13 AM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



TELEGRAM FOR MR. CHIRAC

The Alliance takes a ClueBat to the head of the French President over at HQ


posted by Harvey at 6:56:22 AM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




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