NEW BLOG SHOWCASE

Much better this week. The Bartender entered with part 1 of his useful and infomative series on how to cure a hangover. Nice guy that he is, he's even lighting up links to each of the other sections as he gets the parts posted. Hell, he'd get my vote just for the thoughtfulness factor alone.

If you've ever had a hangover, you NEED to read this.

200 WORDS OR LESS:

INSTITUTION

Today's question comes from the book "The Conversation Piece":

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#17 If you could have any building or institution named after you, which one would you choose?

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At Harv's Hippy Cleansing Center, we turn filthy hippies back into productive citizens through the magic of negative reinforcement. Let me just grab my Louisville Slugger ClueBat, and I'll give you a tour:

Here in the Rush Room, we break spirits with 24-7 re-runs of Rush Limbaugh.

Hippy: Please! I'm going crazy! Just let me have five minutes of NPR!

Harv: No! [WHACK!] Bad hippy! [WHACK!] We don't use the N-word here! [WHACK!]

Moving on, we have the cafeteria. Converting vegetarians can be difficult, so we usually start them off with McDonald's hamburgers, which are mostly just sawdust & rat turds anyway.

Hippy: Please! Just one bite of tofu? A bean sprout? Anything that didn't used to have eyes?

Harv: Here, eat this! [WHACK!]

In this room, the Emperor is holding a class on Basic Human Decency:

Misha: All right asshats, pop quiz: A Paleswinian explodes on a bus full of kids. Good or Bad?

Hippy: Well, the root causes…

Misha: WRONG! [WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!] There. Now you're smarter.

Harv: Or deader.

Misha: Eh. Whichever.

Well, I gotta go lead a hygiene seminar. Thanks for coming, and ...

Damn hippy! Stop trying to smoke the soap! [WHACK!]

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

When we get close, I want you to know that I get all weak and want to hold you forever.

TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Often seen as the dope-smoker equivalent of driving a Ferrari, this bill illustrates how, by attempting to make a connection with a "large" figure in American History, some hippies will try to compensate for their *ahem* shortcomings.

STOP THE MADNESS!

I agree with Owen: get these terrible weapons off the streets at once!

"The fragrance may occasionally leave something to be desired"

Oddly enough, this statement is NOT about the French.

It's about French wine. Mheh.