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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

"Tact is a stranger to you. I like that." - Chris Muir - Day By Day

"The man is a FREAK and a WEIRDO!" - Vigilance Matters

"The nicest thing about having Harvey around is that he makes the raincoat flashers look suave." - Rocket Jones

"...a very, very sick person." - She Who Will Be Obeyed

"pervert of renown extraordinare" - Practical Penumbra

"He's a really nice guy even if he is a little bit weird and creepy sometimes." - Reflections in d minor

"Curmudgeonly Old Coot" - BigStick.US

"Mr. Bad Example" - Straight White Guy

"Shpxurnq!!1!" - The Bartender of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon

"infamous den of rum, buggery, the lash, and pirate pickup lines" - ErosBlog




















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  Friday, October 24, 2003


ALL THAT AND FENRIS, TOO

Bill Whittle Ursula K. Le Guin Linda of Civilization Calls has posted an epic tale of Good and Evil, of Bars and Puppy-Blenders, of Emperors and Norse Gods...

...of tremendous length and even larger entertainment value.

Probably about 10-15 minutes or so. I was so enraptured that I lost sight of the clock. Try to find a block of uninterrupted time, because you don't want to have to look away from this one.

Oh, and you might want to do a quick mythology review before you go.

INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!

 


posted by Harvey at 10:31:41 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




AMERICA'S FAVORITE IRISHMAN

...Matt O'Blackfive, has his interview up at Jen's place. All manner of mysteries have now been solved:

********

Why are you always getting Harvey and Madfish Willie in trouble?

I really like hanging out with those guys. They are a lot of fun but aren't too bright (well, Harvey is really bright but I think he just wants to be baaaadddd). I was always the kid that instigated trouble but never got caught.

If you could beat the living crap out of only one person, would it be MacDiva/JadeGold, Michael Moore, George Clooney, or the kid who stole your lunch (or lunch money) in the second grade, and why?

Alec Baldwin. Damn, I would love to just have a few minutes to pummel the crap out of him. Really. You know where I can find him?

But since he is not on the list, I would kick Michael Moore's fat ass because he is smart enough to sound logical to some people and that makes him more
dangerous than the others. MD/JG just needs attention. George Clooney is an Asshat but not as bad as MM.

As for the kid that stole my lunch in the second grade, well, no kid wanted my lunch. My mom was a hippie so I had all of the natural stuff. No cup
cakes or ho-ho's or fruit roll ups for me. All natural peanut butter. Blech!!! Couldn't even get a trade going!

So, is there any truth to the rumor that you are actually an immigrant French florist named Cinq Noir?

Mon dieu, sacre bleu! Quel abruti a posé cette question? Je battrai son âne!

Who would win between a French monkey and a North Korean monkey in an old fashioned monkey knife fight?

Easy question.

A North Korean monkey, while handicapped by having a poofy hair-do, would win easily because the French monkey would surrender and go back to making Renaults.

********

There's SO much more good stuff waiting for you. Including the answer to why he drinks 6 beers at once. Surprisingly, the answer is not:

"*hic* Irish *hic*"

which is what I would have expected.

And no, that wasn't my question.

Mine was the one about target shooting, which inspired Matt to go into "bloggers that Harv will never tell better stories than" mode and tell a really great story.

 


posted by Harvey at 10:19:20 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



WHAT ABOUT...

So, did you send Jen a question for me yet? I mean, that last Love Note must have set you to wondering...

 


posted by Harvey at 10:07:41 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



EYES OF THE DRAGON

J, of Quibbles & Bits, has a charming short tale of one knight's battle with the fearsome Blue Dragon. Just a couple minutes of your time and very entertaining.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:59:04 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



JAZZIN' UP THE BLOGOSPHERE

Once again, I really wish I could borrow Vanderleun's brain. Over at American Digest, he has perhaps the best analogy I've ever heard for blogging. It's like brain jazz:

***********

You never know what you're going to get, or which way the next person is going to bend the thread.

You're just there, in real time, and saying, really, whatever comes into your head.

Sometimes its flat, even more often predictable, and, yes, it can get really boring, just like a lot of modern jazz.

But still, there are times -- rarer now to be sure -- when the thing just takes off

And you find yourself thinking things you never thought you'd think and saying things you never planned to say to a lot of people who are coming right back at you, jamming harder and seeing if you can all somehow take it higher.

***********

Naturally, I expect you to read the whole thing.

But his observation really struck a chord with me (no pun intended), because it applies so well to my blog life.

Frank J inspired me to start blogging with his hilarious sense of humor. Then he gave me a chance to shine with his permalink contest, which got me some notoriety, followed by the Blog War, which really kicked things up a few notches, as I told one filthy lie after another, which got the Bartender blogging, in the process of which he created a superb setting for some great stories & more filthy lies, and then he started up the Corner of the Bar Gang & the Corner of the Bar Babes, and set the stage for one of the biggest, bestest filthy lies ever.

Yeah, we're jammin'. Come groove with us, baby.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:54:13 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



DON'S FIRST DRINKING EXPERIENCE

As requested by the Bartender, Don of Anger Management submitted his story about his first drinking experience.

Which was the crappiest thing I've ever read.

However, Don immediately followed it with his tale about the night he drank Ann Coulter under the table.

Which is quite possibly the funniest damn thing I've ever read at Don's site, and that's saying something. So go check it out. Just keep in mind that Super-Atomic Drink Alert is in effect.

Oh, and if you're not familiar with Ann Coulter (and even if you are), Right Wing News has some of her best quotes to help you get a feel for the conservative uber-babe's personality.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:07:24 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



MONEYTOV CASHTAIL

My entry for Madfish Willie's Ultimate Blogger Drink Recipe:

Equal portions of:

Blue Raspberry Vodka

190 Vodka

Peach Pucker

Combine ingredients in a glass, aiming for a nice money-green color. Garnish with a dollar-bill-bowtie:

Danger: FLAMMABLE!

 


posted by Harvey at 8:54:50 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

If you can't giggle, tickle, scream, laugh, run around the room naked, pour liqueur on each other and lick it off, tie each other down, have whipped cream fights, and dance and sing with each other, then you are having sex with the person too soon.

 


posted by Harvey at 7:53:05 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Presidential Fun Fact: George Washington had a Cheshire Cat named Roy.

 


posted by Harvey at 7:49:09 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



NEW BLOG SHOWCASE RUNNER UP

It's starting to look like this week is gonna be a left-right pissing contest between two politically-oriented entries at the NBS, and that's fine. But there was one entry I saw that was getting no votes. When I clicked the link & gave it a read, I honestly wondered why that was so. Granted, the post isn't about anything "heavy" or "important", but it's still gave me a really good vibe. It's light, sweet, innocent & cheerful. Just a little bit of "what I did this weekend" with a few gratuitous pictures thrown in for a splash of color. Reading it after some of those more dour entries lifted my spirits a bit, and it just.... felt... nice.

So I'm giving a vote to ATtheHEARTofIT for "Weekend: in Review", just for giving me something to smile about in this sad old world.

And how can you NOT love that tagline?:

-i am off; hope your day is a good one. a smiling Monday!

 


posted by Harvey at 7:41:16 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



NEW BLOG SHOWCASE

Earlier this week (twice, actually) a bunch of losers ran a denial of service attack on Hosting Matters. Pissed me right off. First, if you don't like someone's blog, you should make a better one yourself. Second, if you're not qualified to do so, then just hit the damn back button & don't give them your traffic.

Irreconcilable Musings has a NBS entry that discusses this topic, and even offers an idea for something you can do to keep a good blog from being knocked down again. That makes him a winner in my book. Or at least votable.

And just for fun, I'm going to give IM some Chicago-style bonus votes. Rumor has it the Bear's vote counter is a little wonky. Well, when in Rome...

 


posted by Harvey at 7:26:55 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



HQ ALERT

A triple shot of filthy lies.

A new filthy lie assignment for the upcoming holiday:

Voting in the new blog showcase is imperative because the Liberals are attacking. Failure to vote may become a bootable offense. And disparaging the boot remains a bootable offense.


posted by Harvey at 7:46:55 AM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




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