| |
|
Sunday, January 04, 2004
|
|
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(Introduction)
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at!
posted by Harvey at 11:39:03 PM permalink HOME
|
|
TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Either a 3-year-old got ahold of a red pen, or someone from the Democratic Underground is being unusually coherant.
posted by Harvey at 11:34:48 PM permalink HOME
|
|
STEVE IRWIN AND BOB = MICHAEL JACKSON AND BLANKET
Yes:
One definition of "croc savvy" is "smart enough to avoid crocodiles." That's the one I use.
Think of how this could have gone.
Irwin: [waving son Bob at croc] Have a look, Bob! He's a feisty bugger, eh?
[croc eats Bob]
Irwin: CRIKEY!
Mrs. Irwin: CRIKEY!
Audience: CRIKEY!
Irwin: The croc's gone and eaten Bob!
God: G'day, Bob! You're bloody early!
Angels: CRIKEY!
People are comparing the croc feeding to the famous Michael Jackson
balcony stunt. In fairness to Lizard Boy, they're missing a crucial
distinction: Irwin's son is still a virgin.
No:
You know, I feel pretty certain that if I had a baby that I would not
let Michael Jackson see it, hold it, touch it, sleep with it, or
anything. Steve Irwin, however, is allowed to see it and maybe even
hold it. He's not allowed to take it to the crocodiles on a lark or
anything like that, but I know that I'm peculiar that way about my
babies.
There are a few differences between Steve Irwin and Michael
Jackson, though. That's why they are allowed certain liberties when it
comes to my children. The differences include but are not limited to:
- Steve Irwin is Australian while Michael Jackson is Venusian.
- Steve Irwin is a Naturalist and Conservationist with a lot of
experience observing, studying, and handling animals of all sorts.
Michael Jackson is a singer of lyrics like, "You're a vegetable. They eat off you." He is also alleged to handle children in a way that is quite unsavory.
- Steve Irwin is probably very strong. Michael Jackson is probably made of Styrofoam and, thus, not very strong.
posted by Harvey at 10:36:24 PM permalink HOME
|
|
THIS IS JUST PLAIN WRONG
American Digest has a picture of Howard Dean wearing a cheesehead. As a Packer fan, if find this to be the most morally offensive image to ever scratch my retinas.
On the bright side, there's also a handy little chart that explains
Dean's tax plan. If widely distributed on business cards, it will be
instrumental in tanking this mangy turd's campaign.
By the way, does anyone else think that Howard Dean looks like the Joker in that pic?
posted by Harvey at 7:34:31 PM permalink HOME
|
|
MYSTERY SOLVED
Jen of Jennifer's History & Stuff answers the question that, up
until now, I've usually just shrugged off as the smart-assery of bad
comics:
How do they get Teflon to stick to pans?
The mystery of how Jen manages to cram all that gorgeous into a black leather cat-suit remains unanswered.
posted by Harvey at 7:25:01 PM permalink HOME
|
|
WHY DID THE PACKERS BEAT THE SEAHAWKS?
5-second answer at Boots & Sabers.
Woof!
And can someone tell my why Jed was posting that instead of Owen?
posted by Harvey at 7:11:37 PM permalink HOME
|
|
HE HAS RETURNED
Mike the Marine is back to blogging after going missing for a couple weeks. Lesson learned - don't leave comments enabled when you aren't around to guard your blog.
posted by Harvey at 7:09:30 PM permalink HOME
|
|
YOU PEOPLE ARE DISGUSTING!
The Champagne Room Round-up is wiggling & jiggling over at the Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon, and there's 3 important things to note.
First, if you're going to surf the internet, then for heaven's sake, PLEASE WEAR A CONDOM!
Second, if you're going to talk about boobie pictures, then for heaven's sake, POST THEM!
Third, if you're going to use a vibrator, then for heaven's sake, REMEMBER WHERE YOU LEFT IT!
posted by Harvey at 6:44:04 PM permalink HOME
|
|
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(Introduction)
I only wish to be the fountain of love from which you drink, every drop promising eternal passion.
posted by Harvey at 12:28:07 AM permalink HOME
|
|
|
© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 6/24/2005; 7:39:19 PM.
|
|
|
MAIN ARCHIVES
CATEGORY ARCHIVES
GRAFFITI CURRENCY
200 WORDS OR LESS
FILTHY LIES
LOVE NOTES
PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR
KING OF THE BLOGS
|
|
