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Saturday, January 17, 2004
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
Upon accusing me of a minor crime based on misinterpreted
circumstancial evidence and then finding out I was innocent, Beloved
Wife backpedalled with the following statement:
"Two plus two equals four, they were just the wrong twos"
posted by Harvey at 8:03:21 PM permalink HOME
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(Introduction)
The Beauty that beholds me when I look upon you,
is like a tidal wave crashing down upon me,
both mesmerizing and stunning.
Warm and enveloping it is,
it brings ecstasy to know that it is mine.
How I wish to hold it,
to hold you, forever.
posted by Harvey at 7:58:20 PM permalink HOME
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Bob, the soft-hearted manager of the local
A&W, went out of his way to hire former gang members to work for him as a
way to “give back to the community” by offering young thugs a fresh start.
While mostly successful, there was still the occasional problem with workers
gang-tagging the till.
posted by Harvey at 7:55:48 PM permalink HOME
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HIDING DIAMONDS
In the comments to my earlier New Blog Showcase vote post where I celebrated things disposable, LeeAnn of The Cheese Stands Alone
dropped this shapely, sexy, piece of text into my lap. As much as it
delighted me to revel in it's beauty by myself, my better nature forces
me to share:
I've never truly understood how washing, rewashing, and washing again
is more energy and environmentally efficient than disposable. True,
unless something is biodegradeable, it sits for a gazillion years
somewhere. But doesn't reuse require gallons of water, HOT water,
heated via electricity in heaters, and soaps, which enters the eco
chain in rinsing, and was made in factories that also contribute
waste... Unless you're washing these clothes in spring water hauled to
the house in handmade buckets, heated over a wood stove that burns only
fallen wood, cleaned with soap made from natural ingredients you
produced yourself, and dried on a clothesline made from natural fibers
that you wove yourself..... get the hell over it. I'd rather buy the
disposables, have a life in the 21st century, and as you say, Harv,
avoid the joys of ptomaine or whatever. I'm not unsympathetic to the
eco concerns, I just try to balance it all out. Ooops, look, my
styrofoam cup is out of coffee. :)
This girl just tickles me.
Now I wonder where I'd sign up for the spankings?
posted by Harvey at 7:10:14 PM permalink HOME
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BETTER NEW BLOG SHOWCASE
I liked this piece by Kirk of American Amnesia
(January 13 CTRL+F "insurgency"). One of the few I've read about the
war that I would actually classify as "factual" instead of opinionated.
The big point to take from this post is that it is possible to win
against an insurgency force, but it requires a campaign to win hearts
& minds along with killing guerillas. The author intimates, and I
tend to agree with him, that this is not necessarily a traditional
American military specialty.
Which brings up a point in my mind that the author does not address.
Can this BECOME an American military specialty? If the importance is
stressed, from W on down, then I think ANY strategy can be learned
& adopted. If there's anything our military is good at, it's making
adjustments on the fly as a new situation unfolds. I believe the
importance of the "hearts & minds" campaign is as well known to the
Pentagon as it is to Kirk, and I have great faith that it will be
implemented, the insurgency will be put down, and the battle for Iraq
will be long studied as the model of a nation-building campaign.
posted by Harvey at 2:54:17 PM permalink HOME
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FROM THE MILLION-TIMES-FORWARDED E-MAIL FILE
Courtesy of Blogless Brother Roy:
I received this warning about the use of this
politically incorrect
term. Please try to pay
attention to your
language!
"Towel Heads"
We have been informed
that the Islamic terrorists do
not like to be called "Towel Heads." The
item they
wear on their heads is actually a small sheet.
Therefore, from
this point forward, please refer
to them as "little sheet
heads."
Thank you for your support!
posted by Harvey at 2:41:41 PM permalink HOME
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AH, THE FRENCH
I've seen reports of the French offering there impedence help here and
there, but no one tells the tale better than Graumagus of Frizzen
Sparks:
Here's my prediction of an incident involving a French trained Iraqi officer:
Iraqi man: "Officer!! I have some disturbing news. I saw two men
place a suspicious package in a coffee bar 15 minutes ago, you must
evacuate the building!!"
Officer (smoking cigarette and sipping on espresso): "Who are you to say what is 'suspicious' or not? You're too judgemental."
Iraqi man: "It was ticking! Do something!"
Officer: "It was probably just a clock for a gift. If we interrupt
people's coffee they may get upset. Better you should just go home. We
just can't assume every ticking package left in a higly crowded area is
dangerous! That would affect the self-esteem of people who accidentally
forget gift wrapped clocks in coffee bars."
I left the best part at G's place. Go look.
posted by Harvey at 1:51:38 PM permalink HOME
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PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: AMAZON PHONE NUMBER
I've never had trouble with Amazon.com, but someday I might. According to this post at American Digest, it's exceedingly difficult to find Amazon's 800 number. So just in case you need it:
1.800.201.7575 (Toll free, US and Canada)
1.206.346.2992 or 1.206.266.2992 (Outside US and Canada)
1.877.586.3230 (Canada only)
Now, if only I can remember the name of this post so I can find it again...
posted by Harvey at 1:09:57 PM permalink HOME
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DO WE NEED A WORD FOR IT?
Most days I have a little list (sometimes not so little) of things I have to blog about because I promised other people I would. Which is not to say that I don't want
to blog about it, and those things often make for some of my best posts
(like Filthy Lies, Precision Guided Humor assignments, and New Blog
Showcase votes), but they have an edge of mandatoriness about them that
gives them the flavor of work (like those columns that Lileks is forever complaining about).
I call it obligablogging.
Is there another word for it?
posted by Harvey at 12:16:55 PM permalink HOME
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HOW HIGH CAN A DRAGON FLY?
While peeping into Susie's virtual window (mmmm... love the new nightie, Susie), I discovered that Ith of Absinthe & Cookies has a goal of reaching 50,000 hits by Jan 26.,
her 2 year Blogiversary. A noble & worthwhile goal, but I'm not the
type to go around giving gratuitous linkage for no reason whatsoever.
So I went over to see if I could find a reason. Sure enough, it only
took about 10 seconds to find it. (Ith is like that, ya know).
Now, I've heard this before, but I hadn't thought of this point in
years, and I'm grateful to be reminded. When I heard Bush talking about
the Moon and Mars, I was like, "Eh, that's nice. If were going to
piss away tax dollars, might as well be for something cool-looking like
spaceships". But then, after spending 30 seconds with Ith, I was forced
to recall a much better reason to hit the skies.
Oh and about the title of this post. Ith's URL is ondragonswing.com,
which makes me think about dragons, which makes me wonder: can a dragon
fly in space? I mean, from what I understand, dragonflight is powered
more by magic than physics or aerodynamics, so would they really need
air to fly? I imagine some (but probably not all) would need air to
breathe, but you can always make them a space suit or something.
And by the way, does dragon poop have any magical properties? I've never heard it discussed.
posted by Harvey at 12:00:43 PM permalink HOME
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JUST NOT RIGHT
I can see at least 3 things that make this picture sick/wrong/amusing/funny as hell. One of which would be that peculiar little smile on her face.
Damn, Jed, don't you have an exam you should be studying for or something?
posted by Harvey at 10:58:54 AM permalink HOME
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© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 6/24/2005; 7:44:40 PM.
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MAIN ARCHIVES
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200 WORDS OR LESS
FILTHY LIES
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