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Friday, January 16, 2004
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(Introduction)
But to see her was to love her, love but her, and love her forever.
posted by Harvey at 11:33:44 PM permalink HOME
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Pleasingly pretty Practical Penumbra's persuasive pink purchasing power produces positively peculiar posts, people.
posted by Harvey at 11:31:59 PM permalink HOME
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NEW BLOG SHOWCASE SPITE VOTE
I didn't like this one from Chandrasutra.
It had a good start poking fun at dumb TV commercials, but then it
wandered off down enviro-panic consumerism-lamenting pathways that just
made me roll my eyes.
The worst line?
"Funny, I hadn't realized that plain old reusable dish cloths were such a terrible inconvenience."
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
This isn't about inconvenience, this is about sanitation.
The kitchen dish rag is a festering hive of nasty, smelly bacteria. If
you want to rub that foul thing all over your countertop and dishes,
that's fine, but personally, I think a clean, safe, cheap disposable
alternative is just what the doctor ordered.
Geez. I'll bet you re-use Kleenex, too.
posted by Harvey at 11:13:49 PM permalink HOME
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOUR IMPERIAL GRACIOUSNESS!
Emperor Darth Misha I celebrated his birthday today. What did this celebrating entail? Well, he was a little vague, but I think I can fill in the details with this list of Top 10 Ways That Misha Celebrated His Birthday:
10) Contemplated the possibility that Susie just might be his long-lost twin sister, from whom he was separated at birth... which would make him Luke, instead of Darth.
9) Attempted to break the ever-elusive "1000 comment" barrier by
posting, "I honestly don't see a problem with reasonable restrictions
on firearm ownership."
8) Personally delivered 71 pizzas to the IDF. Popped a few Paliswinians while he was over there, too. Not to mention discovering that JOOOOOOOS! are pretty good tippers.
7) Finished Imperial Primer Cards I-Z. Unfortuately, he got so pissing drunk afterwards in honor of his accomplishment that he forgot where he put them.
6) Thoroughly enjoyed himself at the First Annual "Thank G-d for Misha" Imperial Commemorative Orgy sponsored by Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon Corner of the Bar Babes. Subsequently ejected from the establisment for having sex in the Champagne Room in violation of the clearly posted rules.
5) Held a 2-for-1 special on the official Imperial coffee mug for the first 50 loyal citizens to sign up. The remaining LC's were branded as disloyal and executed.
4) Indulged in a few games of Whack-A-Hippie™
3) Had his Imperial ClueBat™ re-spiked.
2) Posted an entire entry without using the word "fuck" even once, just to see if he could do it. Almost drowned in the puddle of sweat caused by the effort.
and the number 1 thing that Emperor Darth Misha I did to celebrate his birthday:
1) He hugged his inner bunny.
Hope you had a good one, Misha. And may the many more to come be even better.
posted by Harvey at 11:03:05 PM permalink HOME
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SHE SHOULD DO HER DAMN JOB
Which is my answer to Owen's question about what the Wisconsin Attorney General should do when she's feeling conflicted:
Peg Lautenschlager, the Attorney General of Wisconsin, thinks that the proposed law is unconstitutional and is refusing to defend the state
in the case of a lawsuit brought against state. She says that her job
is to "defend the constitution on behalf of the people of
Wisconsin". The governor is insisting that the AG defend the state.
Look, Peg, honey, the only
difference between a government lawyer and a whore is the puddle of
goo. The State of Wisconsin paid for the full hour, so start servicing.
If you want to pretend you have principles that aren't for sale, you
should've chosen another line of work.
posted by Harvey at 7:19:14 AM permalink HOME
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HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR UNEXPLODED MOTHER, TODAY?
Frank has.
Well, not YOUR mother. His mother.
Actually, he just wrote her a poem, but it's very nice.
And a damn fine thing to do. Because if you don't have one of those moms that go "BOOM!", you should be grateful.
posted by Harvey at 7:01:14 AM permalink HOME
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© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 6/24/2005; 7:44:39 PM.
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