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Thursday, January 29, 2004
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(Introduction)
If I gave you flowers as often as I thought of you, the world would be covered in roses.
posted by Harvey at 10:58:04 PM permalink HOME
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RESPECTFULLY SOLVING DIFFERENCES
Beloved Wife showed me this actual course description for a Diversity Workshop:
This workshop explores diversity
using a common sense approach based on respect. Emphasis is placed on
identifying and acknowledging differences and similarities and their
impact on interpersonal and group interactions. Participants will
engage in conversations and activities aimed at increasing awareness
and sensitivity to ways in which difference matters.
This sounded familiar, and I racked my brain trying to think of where
I'd seen this paradigm illustrated briefly and succinctly before...
... Then I remembered... the cable version.
posted by Harvey at 8:18:54 PM permalink HOME
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I HATE STUPID PEOPLE
Maybe I should re-phrase that. What I ACTUALLY hate is the socially-sensitive-but-mentally-challenged.
I'll try to explain. When two people are within a certain physical
distance, there arises in some minds a sense of social pressure to
engage in conversation. If you're close enough to touch someone, you
should probably be talking, or so goes the theory in some circles.
Casual conversation? I can take it or leave it. Usually leave it. But I don't mind it if people want to chat, as long as they can come up with something at least moderately interesting to chat about.
What I simply CAN NOT STAND are the people who are tuned in just enough
to realize they are (theoretically) within "I should say something"
distance, but haven't the wit or creativity to spout anything but the
dullest, tritest, stale-by-the-second-telling catch-phrases.
For example, I work with a guy who, if you trip his social perimeter
alarm, will fall back to his standard recording of "What's the good
word?"
One of my regular customers answers my "How ya doin' today" with "I'm doin'!"
Another one answers my "How's it goin'" with "It's gotta go."
And another one answers "Anything else I can do for you?" with "I hope not"
It's like they know they need to respond quickly and creatively, but possessing only a drunken poodle's intellectual acuity, they settle for the first idiot phrase that pops into their mushy, addled skulls.
Drives. Me. Nuts.
A similar breach of etiquette is often performed by these "too close -
must talk now" idjits when you end up next to them at the urinal. When
I've got Mr. Happy in my hand, the LAST damn thing I want to do is chat
about the weather, or work, or anything else for that matter. All I
want to do is deflate the pigskin & get the hell out. If I want
stimulating conversation, I'll call 1-900-HOT-TALK.
Which brings me this post by Jess of Appropos of Something (via Carnival of the Vanities #71).
Seems it's not just my co-workers who don't have the decency keep quiet
when the hose is in hand. The problem goes all the way to the US
Senate.
I suppose I should just be grateful that my stories never end like his.
posted by Harvey at 7:55:09 PM permalink HOME
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SEPARATED AT BIRTH?
I've seen a couple pictures of possible long-lost twins to John Kerry. The Command Post suggests that it might be Snow Miser. J of Quibbles & Bits puts his money on Herman Munster.
Me? Well, Steve of Little Tiny Lies thinks that Kerry has been having some Botox treatments to freshen up his appearance. He points to the some before & after pictures that Drudge put up.
See that picture under the word "after" (the upper left of the three)?
Pure Odo.
posted by Harvey at 7:26:01 PM permalink HOME
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SCREAMING BROKE
Reid of PhotoDude suggests that Howard Dean's campaign won't have enough cash to make it past the next set of primaries on Feb 3, and he's got numbers to back it up.
Interesting.
I hope he's wrong. Dean was a comedic genius and I'd hate to see him go.
posted by Harvey at 7:15:04 PM permalink HOME
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CAN THIS BABE SWING A HAMMER, OR WHAT?
LeeAnn of The Cheese Stands Alone takes exception to the Commisar's 10 Rules of Blogging.
What am I saying? She IS the exception.
And bless her cheesy little heart for it.
But I have to discuss #7:
7. Identify your sex.
Sure, and would you like to know
what color undies I have on? What my mom's middle name is? What time I
go to work so you can case the joint and swipe my teakettle collection?
Good writing doesn't have to show you I.D. Do you read with your balls or your eyes?
Re: First question: "Yes, please, very much so."
Re: Last question: "uh...wellllllll..."
posted by Harvey at 7:08:30 PM permalink HOME
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CUT HIM! CUT HIM GOOD!
Since Heather of Angelweave is the PeTA whackin' queen (or biting, as the case may be), I must admit that I was surprised that I ended up hearing this bit of PeTA news from Kevin of Wizbang. Apparently the PeTA peckerheads have hoisted a particularly tacky billboard near Richmond.
Personally, I think it's kind of funny in an Itchy & Scratchy kind of way.
Of course, the real reason you should click the link is that, in the comments, the Evil Puppy Blender weighs in under an assumed name.
posted by Harvey at 7:03:15 PM permalink HOME
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TERESA ROCKS
Why? Lots of reasons. For instance, she gets cool letters from her son who wrote about things he learned in boot camp. I'll tell you 2, you've got to go to Technicalities for the rest:
why they are called "FIRE ANTS"
guns are cooler in person
Other great things include that she's a Corner of the Bar Babe. Which, I think, means that I can start making passes at her now.
Plus, in her spare time, she likes to spam her own inbox...
... Which only SOUNDS dirty.
posted by Harvey at 6:58:34 PM permalink HOME
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I GOTTA ASK FOR STUFF MORE OFTEN
Ever wonder about hM, the woman behind the homicidalManiak hatchet? I sweet-talked her into posting a pic. You can thank me later.
The only thing sexier than a beautiful woman holding a guitar is a beautiful woman holding a gun.
I suppose we could always max out the happy-meter by giving hM this guitar.
posted by Harvey at 6:53:53 PM permalink HOME
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WHEN DUCT TAPE WON'T FIX IT...
...You can at least take some solace in Heather of Angelweave's fine short poem on things that have been broken recently.
And if the poem doesn't do it for ya, then you can always just stop by
the comments to that post & tell her what's broken in your life.
You'll feel better for the sharing.
posted by Harvey at 6:51:24 PM permalink HOME
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© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 6/24/2005; 7:44:52 PM.
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