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Monday, January 19, 2004
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IS THIS TRUE?
Via the Champange Room, I found Eric of Straight White Guy saying this:
Get up early one morning....go off to blog while the wife
sleeps....when she finally wakes up...make her breakfast....and say
something like..."Darlin'...I woke up this morning thinking of you....I
know you had a hard day yesterday...so, I thought that I'd let you
sleep...but, I just couldn't get you off my mind...so, I masturbated
this morning while fantasizing about you..".....heh...late sleeper, my
ass...you'll get RAPED...IMMEDIATELY...Women want to be lusted
after....just the same as Men want to be lusted after....it is the
nature of things...
It kinda reminds me of Helen telling her readers that she had her way with herself while thinking of old times with Mr. Y....I bet Mr. Y popped the biggest boner of his entire born days when he read that....there is nothing finer than being desired....DEEEESIRED...
Now, I know he's right about Mr. Y. I mean, I'd be rocket-man in a
heartbeat if a woman honestly told me that she masturbated while
fantasizing about me. But I'm curious as to whether the top scenario would be effective.
I'm actually thinking no. If I tried that in this house, my wife
would crack me in the head with the first blunt object within arm's
reach and scream:
"WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP?"
posted by Harvey at 11:25:20 PM permalink HOME
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(Introduction)
Dreams are wishes... wants... desires
From the deepest corners of your heart.
But how do we fulfill our needs?
Where's the best place to start?
Is there an age that we must be?
Must a lesson have been learned?
Can just anyone fulfill their dreams?
Or must our dreams be earned?
If I could have my heart's desire,
It could easily come true.
To make mine a world of happiness,
All I'll ever want is you.
My dream is but a simple one,
Yet sometimes hard to acquire.
Just someone to give me sweet, sweet love
And fill my soul with fire.
But dreams can also show themselves,
And take you by surprise.
Consume your world with happiness,
Promising no goodbyes.
It suddenly appears
My dreams have come to life.
I'm living in my dream world
With you for all my life.
posted by Harvey at 10:38:41 PM permalink HOME
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI
CURRENCY
From the book, "Romance for Dummies", page 128:
"DO: Write flattering notes on $1 bills
DON'T: Use blood for ink"
posted by Harvey at 10:33:15 PM permalink HOME
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QUEEN OF THE KING OF THE BLOGS
Nick Queen, host of Patriot Paradox, and the genius behind the King of the Blogs Tournament, has his interview posted at Jen's House O' Blue Love.
I found this passage enlightening:
Why did you start your blog?
My biggest influence was actually a blogger most should know, the King of Fools.
He gave me the time of day, and finally I took the plunge. During my
formative days as a blogger he truly was a welcome voice to keep me
going, and encouraging
mentor to keep my head up and keep chugging along. I started the blog
for the same reason many do, to have an outlet for my opinions, and to
have a place to write. It has been a great place for both.
Just something for me to keep in mind, personally. There are some
people I'd like to see start blogs, and some bloggers I'd like to see
blog more. As such, I should remember that encouragement during those
nasty, struggly early days is important.
Which reminds me. I'd like to thank Susie
for all the little smiley faces she left in the comments to my early
Graffiti Currency posts. She'll never know how much that early
encouragement helped.
Wait... I guess she will, now that I've mentioned it...
posted by Harvey at 10:10:31 PM permalink HOME
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REASONS TO LOVE hM
After blogrolling homicidalManiak, I gave her main page the once over to see what I've been so foolishly missing. Well, she finally got her "100 things about me" post up, and I got particularly sweaty on the following items:
5, 23, 28, 37, 42, 49, 56, 62, 74, 77, 84
Oh, and the fact that I enjoyed #1 the most goes without saying.
posted by Harvey at 9:49:32 PM permalink HOME
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PeTA PIROUETTE
Heather of Angelweave has the long-anticipated round-up of kick-PeTA-in-the-nads posts. A couple favorites:
hM of homicidal Maniak references the "Book of PeTa"
(which is right next to the Book of Job in the New Testament, I
believe) and digs up the lost Beatitude. She's also kind enough to post
a drink alert at the top of her post, which you had best heed.
Naked PeTA chicks in tiger-stripe-body-paint. Forget the cows, I'm thinkin' beaver steak right about now.
Which reminds me, it's about time I blogrolled ErosBlog, which is where Heather got that one. I just have to remember to not click the link at work.
Come to think of it, I should've blogrolled hM a long time ago, too. Bad Harv!
posted by Harvey at 9:16:38 PM permalink HOME
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BLOG-BUDDY LINKY LOVE
The Bear is still tallying the votes and/or wrestling with ISP issues.
Meanwhile, I already know all 4 of my blog-buddies (the 2 blogs listed
above me and the 2 blogs listed below me on the Alliance HQ blogroll) voted in the New Blog Showcase this week. Which is very cool.
Here's more proof of coolness:
Susie of Practical Penumbra has discovered the hard way that the last 2 letters in Windows ME stand for "Mega-EWWWWW!"
Matty O'Blackfive showed me this picture, and I'm not sure what to make of it. Apparently Wesley Clark's a fecophiliac. He's probably into Japscat,
too. At any rate, he's now my least favorite candidate. I can't believe
someone running for the highest office in the land would be caught on
film, in public, putting his hands all over something that disgusting -
and even appearing to enjoy it!
Kevin of Eckernet gets a week's worth of blogging done in a single post
(Jan 18, CTRL+F "Duluth"), Highlights include "help Kevin pick a new
gun", and he also has the most common-sense quote I've ever heard from
Zell Miller on why he supports the War on Terror. Plus, he pointed me
to the NoBody Count
page, which lists an estimate of how many people Saddam HASN"T killed
since 3-20-03. I'll give you a hint: it's more than the number of crude
and/or suggestive comments I've made since I started this blog.
Physics Geek of physicsgeek seems to be having some ISP issues. I'll have to catch him later.
posted by Harvey at 8:38:07 PM permalink HOME
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BEST OF ME
The Best of Me Symphony #7 is up at XSet, where I found this delightful list at Smitten.
I'm torn - it's really good, but if I link it, my wife might follow the
link and do all those horrible things to *me* some fine Sunday morning
and ruin my precious sleep.
Hmmm...
Ok, I'll link it, but if my wife shows up, don't let her read it.
posted by Harvey at 7:58:09 PM permalink HOME
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SURPRISE QUOTIENT = 0
Talk about missing a good opportunity to shut up. The Emperor has alerted me to the fact that the *spit* Democrats are bashing the President's State of the Union Address BEFORE he's given it.
Assholes.
I'll quote the Emperor on this:
At least they're being honest for once. It doesn't matter what the President says on Tuesday, they're already against.
But my favorite line would probably be:
Which "essential" allies have we
alienated? france? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Pardon us for saying so, but we think
that we'll somehow manage to get by without overpriced piss
masquerading as "wine" and runny brie. The ones that are our friends
are already on our side.
I wish MY dog could write like this.
posted by Harvey at 7:55:28 PM permalink HOME
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TROUBLE ABROAD
Jeff from BigStick.US finally made it to France. I must quote:
France is cool, but everyone here is either a democrat or a commie
It's like saying "elephants are either big or large", but I'll forgive
the poor boy his redundancy. Probably still suffering from jet lag.
posted by Harvey at 7:51:32 PM permalink HOME
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WINTER FREAKIN' WONDERLAND
I live in Wisconsin, and I drive 30 minutes to work every day. So far
this year it hasn't been so bad. It's more cold than snowy around here,
lately. But several times during each winter, I find myself oozing
through snowy darkness down a solid white road. If I'm lucky, there are
some tire tracks to follow.
I've never had a winter accident involving another car. But Dave did, and he draws it out in agonizing slow motion, and I think Hitchcock directs. It's quite a read, and I want to thank Kevin of Wizbang for pointing it out.
posted by Harvey at 7:49:31 PM permalink HOME
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OH YEAH? I GOT YOUR VOTE RIGHT HERE
Geez, turn your back on the Europeans for 5 minutes and they start plotting the non-violent overthrow of your nation:
...given the US’s unique role on
the international stage, is it morally right for its election to be
decided, or even participated in, only by its own citizens?
Look, I'm sorry you're stuck in a nation without freedom, and I'd love
to have you emigrate here if you'd like to make the most of yourself.
But if you want to continue living across the pond AND vote in American
elections, well...
...Actually, now that I think about it,... sure. Why not? The only
catch is that your socialist paradise has to sign on as the 51st state.
Once you've agreed to live your lives subject to the rule of the US
Constitution, we'll be more than happy to let you vote for the folks in
the Legislative and Executive branches who pass the laws that help keep
said Constitution working toward forming a more perfect union,
establishing justice, insuring domestic tranquilty, providing for the
common defense, promoting the general welfare and securing the
blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity.
Until then... not so much.
(Hat tip to the Bartender for finding this one)
posted by Harvey at 7:45:38 PM permalink HOME
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CHAMPAGNE JAM
The Bartender from Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon is at it again. The
Pervey Show Tales From the Champagne Room is prancing around under the
gaudy neon lights for your pleasure. Bring some dollar bills for
G-string-stuffing.
I'm kinda liking this entry from Dan of Pragmatic Conservative, 50 Ways
to Dump Your Lover. Sure the title is misleading, but far less so than
that retarded Paul Simon tune (at least Dan manages to break double
digits with HIS list of techniques).
The really funny part is that, despite the huge warning at the top
about obscenity & entertainment, some folks still bothered to voice
their disapproval (annonymously, of course) in the comments.
Look, moron, that's what the BACK button is for. If you really hated it
that much, just leave instead of wasting your time (and ours) bitching
& whining. At the very least, leave a REAL name so we can talk
about you behind your back.
F****** trolls.
posted by Harvey at 7:40:07 PM permalink HOME
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HIBERNATING?
Is anyone else having problems acessing the Truth Laid Bear?
He probably just pulled a Pooh & got his head stuck in a beehive or something.
posted by Harvey at 6:33:00 AM permalink HOME
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© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 6/24/2005; 7:44:43 PM.
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MAIN ARCHIVES
CATEGORY ARCHIVES
GRAFFITI CURRENCY
200 WORDS OR LESS
FILTHY LIES
LOVE NOTES
PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR
KING OF THE BLOGS
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