HAPPY THOUGHTS
Howard Dean is an honest man. A man of his word. A man of God's word. A man... *snicker*
Nevermind. I can't do this with a straight face. The truth is that
Howard Dean busted an artery at a pancake breakfast and wound up in the very special version of Hell that J of Quibbles & Bits had prepared for him:
Howard Dean spun around. "Who the Hell are you?" he demanded.
The tall figure stepped toward him, cloven hooves leaving smoking
footprints on the dark floor of the frightening forest. His scarlet
skin danced with flames, belying his calm demeanor. He smiled a smile
of a thousand pincushion teeth. His jet black horns quivered with glee,
and his black bat-wings fluttered in eager anticipation.
"Oh Howard, you don't recognize me?"
"Why the hell should I?" he growled. A vein pulsed in his temple, reflecting the pounding mambo beat of his angry heart.
"Because you allegedly know the Bible, and the consequences of sin," the red man said.
"Hey, I read Job once," Dean grumbled. "What the hell, I'll take a
guess. Hmmmmm.... red skin, horns, leathery wings, menacing Aura of Eviltm... Are you Dick Cheney?"
The red figure laughed. "No, I'm not Dick Cheney. Try again."
"Well, I've met Hillary Clinton and you're no Hillary Clinton."
"Thank God for that," the red man muttered.
Of course, I'm a touch suspicious of J's explanation for Howard's untimely demise. I couldn't help but notice that Dana's been doing a lot of quilting lately. Possibly to strengthen her fingers for a strangling expedition. Or perhaps it's just coincidence...
posted by Harvey at 6:32:30 PM permalink HOME
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