Thursday, April 08, 2004
ATTENTION BRIAN J. NOGGLE
Go to Haloscan and get comments, so that people can thank you for
providing them with thought-provoking, not safe for work entertainment
like this lovely bumper sticker.
posted by Harvey at 11:30:05 PM permalink HOME
BEAM ME UP
Ok, I'm late for Tartan Day. To make up for it, here are some Great Events in Scottish History:
1326 - The game of golf was invented in Scotland, followed shortly thereafter by the invention of the word "DAMMIT!"
1410 - Drinky MacDrunkard discovered how to make single malt scotch. He
was then beaten to death by his neighbors when they found out they had
to wait 12 years before they could drink it.
1453 - Kurt MacCobain invented the plaid flannel kilt and followed it up with his hit song "Smells Like Distilled Spirits"
1570 - Godawful MacScreechy conceived the idea for a new musical
instrument after getting drunk and accidentally setting fire to his cat.
1623 - The Scots invented money. That same year, they also invented tight-fisted skinflintery.
1697 - By a three-vote margin, the Scots lost the "Brawlingest
Drunkards" award to the Irish. A title which the Irish still hold to
1724 - Smartass MacJoker entered his newly created dish, haggis,
into the Betty MacCrocker Cooking contest as a prank. The judges, being
three sheets to the wind at the time, picked it as the winner, and the
culinary atrocity has been a Scottish staple ever since.
1823 - Crazy MacWhacko stayed sober for an entire year, and was hung for treason.
1907 - Tipsy MacSwigger invented drunk driving.
2004 - An angry mob of Scottish descent kicked the crap out of a
talentless hack Wisconsin blogger who mocked Tartan Day. The cheers
2257 - Montgomery Scott, beloved alcoholic engineer of the Starship Enterprise, started a bar fight with some Klingons at Space Station K-7, thus finally bringing honor and the "Brawlingest Drunkards" trophy back to Scotland.
Again, my apologies for being late with this.
posted by Harvey at 11:20:18 PM permalink HOME
KICK THEIR ASSES FOR WHAT THEY SAY, NOT FOR WHO THEY ARE
Jen of Jennifer's History & Stuff posted a link to an article which bemoans the dearth of intellectual rigor to be found in most political discussions. I'll quote the same passage she did:
Briefly put, Type C arguments
discuss the consequences of an action: X is a bad idea, because if you
do that, Y will happen. Type M arguments, on the other hand, relate to
the motives behind the action: X is a bad thing because you're only
doing it to get Z.
Since I read that (and I strongly recommend reading the whole piece,
since it's well written, enlightening and not more than 5 minutes),
I've been paying a little more attention to arguments I read and/or
hear, to see if they're focusing on consequences, as they should, or
non-essentials like motive. I've discovered Rush Limbaugh is about
50-50 on this. A little motive here, a little consequences there,
whatever it takes to demolish his adversaries from all angles. I admit
it makes for quality entertainment, but not so much for subtantive
Another issue tickles my mind, as I discovered a piece in this week's Carnival of the Vanities by Karol of Spot On. In it, Karol discusses how the Hollywood asshats are now working anti-Bush messages into their scripts, and finishes as follows:
The next time someone accuses you of questioning their patriotism, go on and question it, as I will. They deserve it.
Which sort of question used to make me wonder... are the Lefties "unpatriotic"?
But, thanks to my heightened sensitivity to issues of relevancy, I now wonder... who gives a f***?
What the hell does loving your country have to do with choosing the
best course for it? Simply look at the course the lefties are charting
(or would, if they had the power), and decide for yourself whether we'd
be better or worse off if we followed it.
Short illustration. Whether the Left is patriotic or not, they want us to cut and run. Spain did that after 3/11. Then they had another bomb there anyway. I'm just extrapolating here, but it'd probably be a bad idea for us to follow suit.
So the left is wrong, short-sighted, and quite possibly stupid, but
that doesn't make me question their patriotism. I don't care if they
love their country or not, the problem here is that their heads are
packed to a neutron star's density with dangerous & dysfunctional
ideas about how the war on terror should be prosecuted, and THAT is why
they should be stopped on the intellectual battlefield.
Of course, if you still want to insult their patriotism purely for entertainment purposes, be my guest.
posted by Harvey at 10:42:49 PM permalink HOME
MORE FREE ZEVON
From Mr. Large Penis. This time it's Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner, Excitable Boy, and Werewolves of London.
Come get some.
Bandwidth is on Eric.
posted by Harvey at 10:33:43 PM permalink HOME
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! (OR MAYBE THREE)
Matty O'Blackfive suspects that I'm the only Harvey in the blogosphere. To most people, yes. However to a certain search engine who shall remain nameless but sorta rhymes with "bugle" I'm not only not the only, I'm not even the best.
Look at this crap:
Number 1: Harvey Pekar - this turd hasn't posted since October. His calendar is still on FEBRUARY! I don't even know how that's technically possible!
Harvey Kirkpatrick coming in at number 9. How? He hasn't even made a freakin' entry since AUGUST and he's kicking my ass! What kind of shit is that?
Number 11 is just some dork LINKING to Harvey Pekar's craptacularly non-existent & never-updated blog.
Finally, at number 16, we have me. For the overlap of 2 entries I did last December.
I'm quite despondant over these results. At this point, there's only one thing that will cheer me up.
posted by Harvey at 10:28:24 PM permalink HOME
Is there even a single mass grave in the United States?
W not only isn't Bushitler, he's not even Bushaddam.
(link via USS Clueless, who thinks the new report on mass graves in Iraq won't even make the left twitch a whisker, much less change its mind about whether going in was worth it.)
posted by Harvey at 7:21:32 AM permalink HOME
© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 9/10/2005; 5:00:52 PM.